Putting holes in happiness [CHAPTER 13]
Title: Putting holes in happiness
Chapter: 13/?
Genre: AU, Romance, Angst, friendship, smut.
Warnings: Angst. Smut.
Ratings: PG-13 to NC-17
Pairings: AoixKazuki. AoixUruha. Aoix?. Uruhax?. KazukixByou. KaixOC. Rukix?...Etc.
Disclaimer: I only own my imagination ♪
Synopsis: Some people have this tendency to destroy the best they have...When love is caught up in the sick web of lies and self destruction, what is left is not necessarily repaired.
"Let love steal in disguised as friendship."
Ars Amatoria (The Art of Love) - Ovid
Yuu was looking over Kouyou's shoulder, his eyes for the sea, only the deep blue sea then for the sky, the deep blue sky.
Kouyou's question had stolen his voice away and he was afraid to talk.
Can I really be this honest? Can I finally cross this last line? Are you saying you want me to? What do you expect now?
And Kouyou's head was now resting against his chest, Yuu's loud heartbeats echoing inside his head with the regretful feelings his question had sown.
- Hope is the feeling I hate the most.
Yuu had been fleetingly relieved that Kouyou broke the silence until the meaning of his true thoughts kicked in.
- Kou...
The blond left his arms, turning around to start unpacking. Yuu knew he had to do something but then he heard his voice again:
- Let's hurry before it gets really dark.
Later that evening, the tent was finally ready for the night, they had blankets on the sand ready to look at the stars above. Kouyou had brought a box of chocolate and a bottle of red wine and was preparing the glasses when Yuu got out of the tent, wearing a thick cardigan. They had made a small fire but it wasn't enough to warm them up.
Even if it was june, the air was fresh that night and Kouyou smiled:
- I should have prepared a hot chocolate.
Yuu shook his head:
- The wine is perfect for the setting.
The playful Yuu had wanted to tease about the romantic atmosphere but then he remembered how awkward things had been between them until this very moment. No, for once it was better to keep quiet and not risk another argument when they had to spend the next few hours together. He took place beside Kouyou and thanked him for the glass of wine he was giving him.
- Hm...This one's delicious.
Kouyou grinned:
- I knew you'd like it.
They both raised their head up to admire the night sky and their eyes widened at the sight of a flamingo flying:
- No way!
- Did we see the same thing?!
- A flamingo!
- Man I've never seen a flamingo flying!
- Me neither!
They laughed and kept watching the flamingo in the distance, bewildered by what had just happened.
- Do you think there will be another one?
Yuu smiled:
- I don't know. We should lay down and watch, maybe there will be something.
Kouyou obeyed and settled next to Yuu with a smile. A deep blue dress with golden glitters. This was how Kouyou could describe the night sky.
- You know what?
As Yuu only moaned in response, he continued:
- Right now I feel lucky to be alive. Being under this beautiful sky, I feel free from the daily routine. I wish I could do this all the time life gets hard.
The dark haired smiled, taking his hand in his:
- But doing this often would make it lose its value.
- I know...
- The precious things in life never last.
Kouyou stared at Yuu and this one looked back:
- I'm going to enjoy those three months around you. It won't last so please, let me appreciate the time we spend together.
Yuu pulled Kouyou's head against his chest and he looked up, quietly. The dark haired had closed his eyes, his heart swaying. Everytime he was trying to convince himself that he was doing the right thing, Kouyou came up to him with adorable words and beautiful expressions. And he had to refrain himself, to ignore the need, to swallow up the desire.
But Yuu had to be strong. It was only three months and he couldn't play with Kouyou so carelessly in this amount of time. Kouyou was someone who deserved so much better and Yuu wanted to at least face Kazuki properly and eventually decide about their future once he would be back. He didn't want to be a coward and break up now, when he was miles away and had no one to rely on in a foreign country.
I can't be someone like this.
- I'm going to pee.
Kouyou let Yuu stand up and stayed sprawled on the blanket. Yuu Walked toward the tall grass near the sand and got rid off the beer he had drunk when they stopped at a gas station on the road this afternoon. He was ready to go back to Kouyou and noticed he had received a message on his cellphone. The hour was 20:43. It was now 20:54. He opened it, from an unknown number and only a direct link appeared. He frowned and opened it, curiously. It was a video and while it was loading, Yuu wondered what it could be.
Moans.
Skin slapping.
A voice he knew too well.
Silhouettes moving on a bed.
- Masa...
He stared, captivated and disgusted.
Another round of moans and the video ended abrutly.
Yuu fell on his knees on the sand, his eyes still for the screen of his smartphone. At this moment, Yuu finally felt the pain of being crushed and destroyed by his lover's unfaithfulness. Before this video, it had been a pure concept and few seconds ago it had been materialized and seen and nothing could ever make him forget it. The sickness in his stomach, the urge to throw up his disgust and an unbearable sadness: Yuu Shiroyama finally understood the meaning of a heartbreak.
With shaking hands he pressed the button call after finding a name he was looking for and waited...When a voice could be heard:
- Yuu?
He breathed in deeply to calm himself down:
- Did you just send me a video?
- What?
- Did you try to get some fucking revenge for what I told you in my office?!
- Yuu what the hell are you saying?
- What are you doing now?!
For five long seconds he heard nothing then another voice he instantly recognized:
- Yuu? It's Mao. I'm with Mizuki right now, we were having dinner. What's wrong?
Yuu sighed, his head spinning:
- Do you assure me that Mizuki wasn't touching his phone or his laptop in the last fifteen minutes?!
His voice was agressive and urging. But Mao wouldn't lie to Yuu. He was sure of that fact.
- I can swear Yuu that he didn't. Why? What happened?
Yuu closed his eyes, ready to cry.
- Something came up...On my phone...I will contact you again when I'm back in Tokyo tomorrow.
- O-Ok...Yuu call me if you need anything. Alright? You should try to relax until we talk. You sound pretty upset right now...
Yuu coughed, his throat dry.
- Yeah I know...Sorry, don't worry I'm not alone, see you tomorrow.
He hung up before Mao could say goodbye and realised he had been absent for too long. With his head still a mess, Yuu walked back to Kouyou and found him on his knees, his face screaming worry.
- I was seriously considering coming to get you, but then I thought what if he's not just peeing...
Kouyou giggled and stopped as Yuu's face didn't react to his silly mood, instead he seemed pretty down all of sudden. The dark haired felt so sick with everything that he didn't even bother tell Kouyou anything and walked to the sea, like a lost puppy. He stopped and looked at the horizon, at the dark, dark sea and thought that if it could swallow him up right now, he wouldn't even fight back against the waves but embrace them sweetly.
Kouyou ran after him, framing Yuu's face with his hands and their eyes locked and Kouyou saw the threatening tears and kissed him hard, poured all his heart in the kiss, saying I love you with his tongue and I'm here with his arms.
Their forehead stuck, Yuu closed his eyes and managed to say in a whisper:
- Don't ask me why...
Kouyou nodded, confused and dragged Yuu back to their blanket. The dark haired sat, grabbed the bottle of wine and drank directly out of it. Kouyou watched, powerless and in the end, grabbed his acoustic guitar he had brought. At the first riffs, Yuu recognized I For You by LUNA SEA and closed his eyes, concentrating on Kouyou's voice.
If we only met for the sake of getting hurt, that's sad...
Yuu opened his eyes, admiring how Kouyou was putting his heart into it.
I want to remove all of the pain that falls on you, I For You...
And Yuu continued drinking, touched by Kouyou's lovely gesture for him. At the end of the song, Yuu leaned in to kiss Kouyou, his lips tasting wine and salt and the blond guessed that Yuu had been crying while looking at the sea earlier.
But he ignored it and continued streaming his guitar in the darkness of the night. When Kouyou stopped at one point, the dark haired was sprawled on the blanket, his eyes closed. The blond abandoned his guitar and grabbed his waist, ready to fall asleep until he noticed that Yuu had put his hand on Kouyou's head, stroking his hair.
- I thought you were asleep.
Yuu sighed:
- Not really. I'm not drunk enough to sleep.
Kouyou put a hand on his warm belly:
- You sound pretty sobber to me.
Yuu faked a laugh:
- Then I can't take advantage of you.
The blond smiled, almost happy to hear him joking.
- I think I could pretend you're drunk.
Yuu kept quiet for a while, then spoke again:
- Could you?
Kouyou turned around, facing Yuu:
- I might not give you this chance once more. I'm crazy enough right now to let you do what you want.
He stared at the blond, almost surprised.
- It's now or never. You told me that chances had to be taken...Well then Yuu, here's yours. Take it or leave it.
Yuu didn't wait for too long. In fact the second after he was all over Kouyou's mouth, devouring it like it was their last night on earth. A flick of his tongue inside Kouyou's mouth, brushing quickly against his, a short gentle touch and started a wet ballet with their limbs entwined, their breath heavy and loud.
Kouyou felt how hard Yuu was for him, how strongly they felt for each other and he moaned at the friction of their hardened members. The dark haired's mouth left his lips to slowly go to his neck, sending waves of shivers all over his body and Kouyou almost thought it was another fantasy he was having in his sleep.
And as Yuu's teeth sank, he cried out in pain and realised that it was real this time. Yuu would be his tonight and nothing could stop them now. Not even the fact that the dark haired was thinking about his boyfriend in New York and how unfair it could be. This was the sweetest revenge. After having craved Kouyou for weeks, Yuu would finally taste him and allow himself to bite in the forbidden fruit.
There was no guilt or anxiety about what he was doing. Flashes of the video kept appearing when Yuu's mind was trying to tell him to stop what he was doing.
I'm gone too far to stop it now. I will do to him the same thing he did to me. I'm going to be selfish and enjoy it.
Kouyou was fighting with his jeans, crazily unfastening, in a race because Yuu was his precious dream and he was afraid he'd vanish. And with heavy pants they kissed and he hissed in pain as his lips were wildly bitten. And the passion burnt a bigger hole in his heart and Kouyou closed his eyes with the fear he had created a black hole and soon this love will engulf him totally.
I've given away my sanity. Now just now. I'm done. This life full of promises ends here. With you and me and our naked bodies. I will never be the same and I know that I've signed my own end the moment we kissed.
And ideas of chaos were swirling around in their heads and Lust on their fingertips.
We are creating chaos, thought Yuu.
We are unforgivable, thought Kouyou.
But none of them stopped.
- You don't know how much I've been wanting you.
Kouyou smiled against Yuu's earlobe, his deviant tongue teasing and licking while Yuu was reaching for his dick. He gasped and stared at the sky, the dark haired's mouth leaving wet kisses on his collarbone.
- I've been wanting you the same way.
The fresh air around his thighs contrasted with Yuu's hot body against his. They removed their tee-shirts, hungrily and devoured each other's lips more and more, their skin on fire, communicating with each stroke. Yuu grabbed Kouyou's thighs and started to kiss and bite the insides, having Kouyou crying out and holding the blanket like it would fly away.
Slowly Yuu was aiming for the most sensible place of the blond and continued to tease, his mouth ghosting over Kouyou's genitals. The blond was almost squirming, craving the warmth of Yuu's mouth on him and giggled when the dark haired only blew on it:
- Yuu...
He laughed and the dark haired too, rejuvenated by the atmosphere between them. And he kissed the head, languidly and Kouyou's laugh faded. And he licked and Kouyou's dick twitched. He wet and stroked with his right hand, admiring the parted full lips of the blond and hearing the beautiful sighs escaping that pretty mouth of his.
And he sucked while his slightly wet finger penetrated the blonde gently, slowly opening that desired place for him later. And Kouyou's fingers tightened their grip in his hair and it made Yuu suck him faster, the beast awoken and crazy.
Only Kouyou's moans could be heard and Yuu focused on them entirely, knowing exactly when Kouyou was reaching various peaks of pleasure and when he found that it was wide enough, he removed his fingers and sat up to kiss Kouyou.
The blond was panting already and Yuu chuckled against his mouth:
- You wanted me this bad?
Kouyou grinned, shushing Yuu:
- You're just halfway there.
He caught his upper lip between his teeth and let it go:
- Oh, don't be so impatient, I'm trying to slow down things.
The blond gave him a heated kiss in response then said in a lustry tone:
- We can save up the slow sex for another time. But right now Yuu, I think I can't wait anymore.
The dark haired only looked at Kouyou's face, surprised and the other continued:
- You teased me a couple times, you made me want you with all of your evil smirks and stares, you've kissed me and tried to get me when I was trying to be strong...Right now I'm on the edge Yuu. Give it all now. I don't know what will happen to us once we're done, but spare me the lovey dovey stuff.
Yuu smiled:
- Roughly then?
Kouyou's face was still showing seriousness:
- Are you waiting for it to turn green?
Yuu laughed and their lips collided, their tongues passionately entwining until Yuu parted, licking the palm of his hand generously and stroked himself, repeating the operation until he was sure he'd hurt Kouyou less.
- I really hope you like it rough.
Kouyou laughed:
- Sorry I didn't bring my lube, I didn't want to tempt myself.
Yuu chortled:
- Don't worry I'll be nice first.
The head teased the entrance and Kouyou started squirming and soon Yuu was slowly pushing in. The burning sensation wasn't unbearable, almost blissful even. Kouyou could feel that emptiness within filled little by little, he allowed himself to hiss in pain and his nails to scratch Yuu's back.
Fully inside, it still burnt to an extent that Kouyou couldn't open his eyes, his whole face contracted. Yuu was kissing his lips, his cheeks, his nose and he heard him whisper in the night:
- Tell me right away if you want me to stop.
Kouyou's breath was quick and he seemed to get used to the sensation little by little, his face slowly softening.
- Don't even dare to go rough because I've been stupid earlier.
Yuu laughed, aware that it will hurt a bit too much.
- What if I need to get stitches then? Do you actually see me going to the hospital and showing my anus to some doc?
Yuu got the giggles and Kouyou started to laugh too.
- Kou I swear, I'm going to lose it so stop already.
The blond agreed and slightly moved his pelvis:
- Make love to me. Be sweet and tender because, really, I've been too ambitious.
The dark haired smiled, kissed his lips gently and started a slow waltz of their hips and lips. Yuu heard Kouyou's whimpers but they changed into moans in a matter of seconds and when they felt like it would need a little help, Yuu would coax his dick with more saliva and they would start again, the interruption only adding pleasure. The fire beside the blanket was dying slowly, their eyes only seeing contours and shadows.
Kouyou almost thought they were long lost lovers, enjoying each other with pure and undeafeated feelings.
- You're beautiful.
- You can't even see me properly.
- But in the daylight you are beautiful and you still must be under the nightsky.
Kouyou kissed him:
- It's what you do right now that makes me beautiful.
Yuu smiled in another kiss, his whole body reacting to Kouyou's sweetness, his pleasure reaching for its peak. His body was begging for the end, urging Yuu to fasten up and it seemed that the blond needed the same treatment, his hips pushing onto Yuu's harder with each thrust.
- Is it ok?
Kouyou replied in a moan and cried out in pain when Yuu pushed in harder.
And the pleasure had been so rare in the last months that Kouyou ejaculated after few seconds, his voice resonating around them. And Yuu caught his lips, still trapped inside Kouyou, his lower stomach burning already before release.
- Kou...
And he felt it inside, warm and sudden. Yuu let an enchanting moan pass his lips and Kouyou found it extremely sexy. He then took place beside Kouyou's warm and sweaty body, wrapping themselves with the blanket. No more moving, the fresh wind was finally threatening them and Kouyou grabbed Yuu's waist, his head resting on his chest.
They both looked up at the sky, silently and realised what had just happened. The heat of the moment gone, their heads clear and no more blinded by the wild lust, they knew that their friendship ended right there.
There was no turning point.
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You were all waiting for this right? Hey 13th chapter. Finally. AT LAST. What can I say? Look forward the next chapters my dears ♥ I love you all!