(no subject)
I just read my last posting. I was such a loser:) lol
Life is so weird right now. Everything about it is weird, not bad but strange. I have virtually no friends my own age, and while it seems like that should bother me i am strangely at ease with it all. At least no super close friends. Come to think of it i dont feel like i have any super close firneds at the moment at all. Maybe its just this moment...
Ans it seems that those people, even the distant ones that i do talk to are allowing me to feel what they feel with them and i feel it so acutely. I feel the hurts, the sadness the anger and the bitterness more strongly for these people than they know. I feel the confusion and the feelings of inadequecy that i can see in their faces as they tell me about their latest party or their latest argument or their struggles with treating their body right and feeding it once in a while...it is difficult to see the good and hope and light in life when i feel all that to sharply as if it were my own.
But still the cerulean river and the rain and the sound of a soft guitar please me and entice me to smile and love and laugh. And the master artist teaches me more and more everyday how to truly love with all of me and unconditionally. That is the hardest part- without condition.
Life is so weird right now. Everything about it is weird, not bad but strange. I have virtually no friends my own age, and while it seems like that should bother me i am strangely at ease with it all. At least no super close friends. Come to think of it i dont feel like i have any super close firneds at the moment at all. Maybe its just this moment...
Ans it seems that those people, even the distant ones that i do talk to are allowing me to feel what they feel with them and i feel it so acutely. I feel the hurts, the sadness the anger and the bitterness more strongly for these people than they know. I feel the confusion and the feelings of inadequecy that i can see in their faces as they tell me about their latest party or their latest argument or their struggles with treating their body right and feeding it once in a while...it is difficult to see the good and hope and light in life when i feel all that to sharply as if it were my own.
But still the cerulean river and the rain and the sound of a soft guitar please me and entice me to smile and love and laugh. And the master artist teaches me more and more everyday how to truly love with all of me and unconditionally. That is the hardest part- without condition.