(no subject)
There was this girl named brytni (funny story - her name is really brittany, i remember her telling me how frustrated she got because after b. spears appeared everybody assumed bryt's name was spelled like spears: britney. but it's not! hahaha). Our meeting and becoming friends was the result of a lot of little and large actions all coming together in a big jumbled mess during a very crucial point in my life. What was crucial about this time you might ask? I don't know. it just was. but anyways...so brytni and i, along with a few other key people at that point...tumbled into the crazy time full of experiences, some druguse, and a lot of emotional experiences that noone else will ever fully understand. I could babble on and on about what we went through. But the details aren't important. what matters is, she became more important to me than she'll ever know, hands down. Whether or not she is in my life constantly or physically, she's in the way i move...the way i talk...the way i dream...the way i dance....the way i laugh. At this point you might be saying to yourself - jeez, were you like, in love with this gal or what? honestly, i don't know. but truthfully, it doesn't matter. So things happened. we'll just leave it at that. a lot of questions went unanswered for a long long time unfortunately....just recently we answered a lot of each other's questions...and got to talk just a bit.
Fast foward to right now. I'm listening to a mix cd that is playing some very significant songs in a row...the first of which is a song i first heard mixed by oakenfold in colorado with bryt. i talked about the song afterwards but i could never find it to point it out to her again. the next one after that was a song called 'wishing on a star' originally done by micky finn...it's the epitome of classic pretty vocal trancy song to anyone who has gone to raves....but the lyrics mean a lot to me and it reminds me of dancing with her. if i ever did fall in love with her it happened in either 2 places: while dancing with her or talking/falling/sleeping next to her.
Sometimes I get soooo mad at my life. sometimes I'm mad that I ever experienced my friendship with her. sometimes i wonder if it ever even happened, maybe i just imagined it all. other times i'm mad that it all got taken away from me. But then I think about, maybe it wouldn't mean so much to me if it hadn't. My thoughts about her and a lot of things during that time in my life have been and will always be a jumble.
I guess I don't have much of a point to this ramble. I guess i was just being sentimental, emotional, and thoughtful.
but if any of you ever meet someone like this, appreciate them. be honest with them. realize that situations and people like that are very rare and are a gift that will forever change you. don't shut out what you learn from them because of bad things that may follow. don't dismiss what was once unique and good because something new and sour appears. you'll forever regret it.
i know this was cheesy. but it's HONEST.
Fast foward to right now. I'm listening to a mix cd that is playing some very significant songs in a row...the first of which is a song i first heard mixed by oakenfold in colorado with bryt. i talked about the song afterwards but i could never find it to point it out to her again. the next one after that was a song called 'wishing on a star' originally done by micky finn...it's the epitome of classic pretty vocal trancy song to anyone who has gone to raves....but the lyrics mean a lot to me and it reminds me of dancing with her. if i ever did fall in love with her it happened in either 2 places: while dancing with her or talking/falling/sleeping next to her.
Sometimes I get soooo mad at my life. sometimes I'm mad that I ever experienced my friendship with her. sometimes i wonder if it ever even happened, maybe i just imagined it all. other times i'm mad that it all got taken away from me. But then I think about, maybe it wouldn't mean so much to me if it hadn't. My thoughts about her and a lot of things during that time in my life have been and will always be a jumble.
I guess I don't have much of a point to this ramble. I guess i was just being sentimental, emotional, and thoughtful.
but if any of you ever meet someone like this, appreciate them. be honest with them. realize that situations and people like that are very rare and are a gift that will forever change you. don't shut out what you learn from them because of bad things that may follow. don't dismiss what was once unique and good because something new and sour appears. you'll forever regret it.
i know this was cheesy. but it's HONEST.