Fic
lol... This was inspired by Umidori's noting that there's a site that can change the genders in fics (and other stuff) - regender. Also, it's very much by Ani DiFranco's Letting the Telephone Ring. So... If you want to read this as male KuroFay, you'll have to use that site xD (although there's hardly any reference to gender full stop, apart from maybe Kurogane's reactions to circumstances...)
And since she inspired me, this is for Umidori, even though she probably won't like the theme ^^;
The damned telephone's ringing again. I thrust down an urge to unplug it, to throw it out of the window, but I won't - if I did, you'll know how much you're affecting me. So I'll just let it ring, let you imagine that I've gone out, that you mean so little to me that I'm already out looking for someone to replace you.
My heart aches at the thought of that, of the suggestion that what we had might be over if I can't bring myself to forgive you. But I push it away, drown it in my anger.
I switched the Ansaphone off after the first message you left - the way your soft voice was rent by your sobs as you apologised repeatedly almost made me pick up the phone and listen to you, believe you - but if you could lie like that in the first place, how do I know that your apologies are truthful? My eyes close, and I think back to when you finally told me the truth.
You looked at me with those beautiful eyes, always so sad and now filled with tears as you struggle to tell me you've been sleeping with someone else. I concentrate on your body as you speak, the way your slight breasts rise and fall as you push away those sobs, at your slender hips, pushed forward in your usual stance. You sound so sincere as you apologise.
"Who?" I snarl, trying hard to reign in the beast of my anger, trying to be mature about this.
"You... You don't know her."
"Her name, dammit!"
"A-Ashura. Her name is Ashura." You didn't even look at me then, thinking of her, perhaps. My anger flared and I grabbed your arm, dragged you down the stairs. "Kuro-sama!"
"Shut the hell up!" I'd screamed, keeping my voice angry. There was no way I was going to cry in front of you. "Don't call me that. Don't call me at all." I opened the door and forced myself to let go of your arm. "Get out, Fay."
You looked up at me, looking as though I'd reacted in a way you hadn't expected - as though I could have reacted in any other way - your mascara flowing down your cheeks, riding on your tears.
"Please, let me explain-"
"There's nothing to explain! I don't want to hear your excuses! You fucked someone else and then came back to me as though nothing had happened!"
"Kuro-"
I didn't want to hear you lie to me again. I pushed you out and slammed the door in your face without another word, ignoring you banging on the door as I slid down the wall next to it, sobbing quietly as my heart seemed to implode.
The ringing finally stops and I sit, feeling terribly alone suddenly in the weight of the silence. I have no idea where you are. Perhaps you're with this Ashura. I wonder what makes her better than me? Is she better in bed? Or maybe she is more tolerant of your teasing, maybe she treats you better than I did. Anger and pain rise in me at that thought, coming together in an attempt to fight off the guilt, for I never treated you as well as you deserved. I never told you how much I love you. Is that why you slept with someone else?
And was it just sex, or do you love her?
You never said you loved her. And if it was just sex... I know it shouldn't be important compared to our relationship, but even if it was just physical, I don't know if I can forgive you, no matter how much I love you. You've betrayed my trust, taken everything I gave you and discarded it as though it meant nothing to you.
The phone rings again and I stare at it. I don't want to answer. I don't want to hear what might hurt me even more, but what if what you have to say makes it hurt less? I pause for a moment, breathing deeply to calm myself. Then I stand, and pick up the phone to hear what you have to say for yourself.
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AN: So now I need to go write something happy. How depressing was that?! ;_;
And since she inspired me, this is for Umidori, even though she probably won't like the theme ^^;
The damned telephone's ringing again. I thrust down an urge to unplug it, to throw it out of the window, but I won't - if I did, you'll know how much you're affecting me. So I'll just let it ring, let you imagine that I've gone out, that you mean so little to me that I'm already out looking for someone to replace you.
My heart aches at the thought of that, of the suggestion that what we had might be over if I can't bring myself to forgive you. But I push it away, drown it in my anger.
I switched the Ansaphone off after the first message you left - the way your soft voice was rent by your sobs as you apologised repeatedly almost made me pick up the phone and listen to you, believe you - but if you could lie like that in the first place, how do I know that your apologies are truthful? My eyes close, and I think back to when you finally told me the truth.
You looked at me with those beautiful eyes, always so sad and now filled with tears as you struggle to tell me you've been sleeping with someone else. I concentrate on your body as you speak, the way your slight breasts rise and fall as you push away those sobs, at your slender hips, pushed forward in your usual stance. You sound so sincere as you apologise.
"Who?" I snarl, trying hard to reign in the beast of my anger, trying to be mature about this.
"You... You don't know her."
"Her name, dammit!"
"A-Ashura. Her name is Ashura." You didn't even look at me then, thinking of her, perhaps. My anger flared and I grabbed your arm, dragged you down the stairs. "Kuro-sama!"
"Shut the hell up!" I'd screamed, keeping my voice angry. There was no way I was going to cry in front of you. "Don't call me that. Don't call me at all." I opened the door and forced myself to let go of your arm. "Get out, Fay."
You looked up at me, looking as though I'd reacted in a way you hadn't expected - as though I could have reacted in any other way - your mascara flowing down your cheeks, riding on your tears.
"Please, let me explain-"
"There's nothing to explain! I don't want to hear your excuses! You fucked someone else and then came back to me as though nothing had happened!"
"Kuro-"
I didn't want to hear you lie to me again. I pushed you out and slammed the door in your face without another word, ignoring you banging on the door as I slid down the wall next to it, sobbing quietly as my heart seemed to implode.
The ringing finally stops and I sit, feeling terribly alone suddenly in the weight of the silence. I have no idea where you are. Perhaps you're with this Ashura. I wonder what makes her better than me? Is she better in bed? Or maybe she is more tolerant of your teasing, maybe she treats you better than I did. Anger and pain rise in me at that thought, coming together in an attempt to fight off the guilt, for I never treated you as well as you deserved. I never told you how much I love you. Is that why you slept with someone else?
And was it just sex, or do you love her?
You never said you loved her. And if it was just sex... I know it shouldn't be important compared to our relationship, but even if it was just physical, I don't know if I can forgive you, no matter how much I love you. You've betrayed my trust, taken everything I gave you and discarded it as though it meant nothing to you.
The phone rings again and I stare at it. I don't want to answer. I don't want to hear what might hurt me even more, but what if what you have to say makes it hurt less? I pause for a moment, breathing deeply to calm myself. Then I stand, and pick up the phone to hear what you have to say for yourself.
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AN: So now I need to go write something happy. How depressing was that?! ;_;