that kid kissed me
eli kissed me. which led to me kissing him back.
which led to about an hour of us just makin out on his bed.
I feel terrrible about it. if trisha knew she would be so fuckin mad, and if i did something that one of my best friends would be pissed about, then maybe i should not have done it.
I just super did not plan on doin that. One minute we are play fightin his bed over the remote, laughin and jokin around, the next he was kissing me.
and what makes me want to beat myself up about it even more is...I really liked it.
i kissed him BACK. and then again and again to lead to about an hour of it. I do not know what happened. Things just got carried away i guess.
but i had not intention of any of this. i was sooper dooper happy to have just become his friend. and how what. if we do not go out, things will be akward. if we do go out, we will have to hide it from trisha. and if we do not go out and just fuck around, i would be a slut and i would have to hide it from trisha. see how there is not winning in this situation.
grr. I failed myself. i should not have let that happen. and yet, i think i like him too. not by how he looks on the outside, but genuinly i dig who he is in the inside. which is why i did not see any of this commin, normally i am so focused on the outward apearance, but this time, i fell for who he was on the inside, which is why i did not really realize i had any feelin for him there
ohh goodness, i am sure none of this makes any sense, and i am just rambaling
plus i am not checkin it for any spellin errors soooo
i know this probably looks like crap. i just needed to get this off my chest though.
i am still pretty shocked
which led to about an hour of us just makin out on his bed.
I feel terrrible about it. if trisha knew she would be so fuckin mad, and if i did something that one of my best friends would be pissed about, then maybe i should not have done it.
I just super did not plan on doin that. One minute we are play fightin his bed over the remote, laughin and jokin around, the next he was kissing me.
and what makes me want to beat myself up about it even more is...I really liked it.
i kissed him BACK. and then again and again to lead to about an hour of it. I do not know what happened. Things just got carried away i guess.
but i had not intention of any of this. i was sooper dooper happy to have just become his friend. and how what. if we do not go out, things will be akward. if we do go out, we will have to hide it from trisha. and if we do not go out and just fuck around, i would be a slut and i would have to hide it from trisha. see how there is not winning in this situation.
grr. I failed myself. i should not have let that happen. and yet, i think i like him too. not by how he looks on the outside, but genuinly i dig who he is in the inside. which is why i did not see any of this commin, normally i am so focused on the outward apearance, but this time, i fell for who he was on the inside, which is why i did not really realize i had any feelin for him there
ohh goodness, i am sure none of this makes any sense, and i am just rambaling
plus i am not checkin it for any spellin errors soooo
i know this probably looks like crap. i just needed to get this off my chest though.
i am still pretty shocked