THERE IS A GIFT BESIDE MY BED A HARBINGER OF DOOM AND WORLD ENDINGS.

IT WON'T STOP THUMPING.

LIKE IT IS TELLING US ALL THAT THE HOLIDAYS WILL END IN DEATH AND DESTRUCTION FROM THE VERY GIFTS THAT WE HOPE TO CLUTCH TO OUR BOSOMS!

THERE IS NO SAVING US

I went on a date with Professor Flitwick, but he didn't know it was a date.

And I didn't know it wasn't until the very end of it.

He was sweet enough to not tell anyone else, and I pretended like it had been a date the whole time, that I hadn't enjoyed and so there wouldn't be another one.