The Dee-Annotated Supernatural - Route 666
I'm really glad I rewatch the episodes while doing these recaps, because I wanted to see the sex scene without the distraction of the Male hollering "bored now!" and "the music! it burns us, precious!"
So yeah, this episode? Not so good. Frigging hilarious, though.
Route 666
Intro: 22 years ago
The Male: That baby is so fake. It's plastic.
Me: So not only is Sam actually Max, but he's plastic?
The Male: I just call it as I see it.
Big truck: *plays cat and mouse with the car*
Me: This episode is a Carmageddon level! A thousand points for the rear-ending!
Big truck: *disappears*
Driver: *looks uncertain*
The Male: Oh, he's not. He's NOT. He is NOT going to stop.
Me: No, he's not.
Big truck: *shows up ahead*
Driver: *slams on the brakes*
Me: OK, so he is.
Big truck: *totally shunts the car*
Me: You get a whole minute for that. Now slam him into something.
Car: *totals itself*
Me: YOU WASTED 'EM!
Um... yeah, I'm a huge Carmageddon fan. I love that game. So much. So I geeked out a bit. *G*
Big truck: *revs uselessly before disappearing*
Me: So it's gloating now?
So I see why they showed us "Skin" as the second ep in the double last night. Because Dean's opening thirty seconds of "Change of plans" in this ep syncs perfectly with Sam's "I'm going to hold my breath until you give in" from the start of Skin. Except Dean doesn't argue, he just tells Sammy to get his bitch ass in the car, and Sam's all, "Hang on, did I miss my chance to argue?" Bwahaha, these brothers. I heart them.
Sam: *smirks and pokes at Dean*
Me: *is helpless pile of giggles on the sofa*
Sam: Which, by the way... how does she know what we do?
Dean: *looks shifty*
Me: OMG his SHIFTY LOOK. He so awesome.
Sam: *Ranty McRant on the theme of "omg you told her"* DEAN!
Dean: Yeah, looks like.
Us: *helpless mirth!*
Cassie: *is feisty and opinionated!*
Me: Well, she's a fox.
The Male: Totally hot enough to know something.
The Lovers are Reunited!
Me: What the FUCK is with the music?!
The Male: TAKE that harp and SHOVE IT.
Sam: *smirks*
Me: *sniggers*
(The above sentiment can basically be considered the Standard Operating Procedure for this episode, in fact.)
Dean: Sorry about your Dad.
The Male: Huh? Oh, yeah, my Dad. That's right.
Cassie: He sold cars. Always drove a new one.
The Male: Used car salesman. Totally deserved it.
Dean: And the first person killed was a friend of your father's?
Cassie: Yes... they owned the car dealership together.
The Male: So it's targeting dodgy used car salesmen.
Cassie: I'm a little skeptical about this... ghost stuff. or whatever it is you guys do.
Dean: Huh. Skeptical. If I remember right you said it was NUTS.
Cassie: That was then.
Dean: Mm.
I cannot draw big enough hearts around that exchange. They're a little shakey because I'm giggling so hard, but they're there, yo!
Car: *is totalled*
Big truck: *revs a lot*
Me: Enough with the gloating.
The Male: Nah, I think it's bogged.
Me: Aw nuts. Call the RACV.
OK, the whole scene with the tie-tying and Sam-poking? I was out for the count. I was just about hyperventilating with giggles. Giggles of AWESOME.
Sam: It's just an interesting observation, in a, y'know, observationally interesting way.
Dean: You think we might have some more pressing issues here?
Sam: Hey, if I'm hitting a nerve...
Dean: Oh, let's go.
The Male: *loses it as well*
The boys: *are well-suited*
The Male: Dean CANNOT tie a tie.
Me: He proved that earlier.
The Male: Look at that. LOOK AT IT. Goddamn painful. Can't he get Sam to do it or something?
I just love watching him walk like he does in that suit. It's fucking hilarious. Also, hot. But at periods during the whole scene, the Male was making disgusted noises. Boys and their fucking perfectionist Windsors.
Sam: OK, you work that angle; go talk to her.
Dean: I will.
Sam: And you might want to mention that other thing.
Dean: What other thing?
Me: The fact that I SERIOUSLY need a haircut. Or maybe it's just limp in the swamp air.
Sam: Everyone's gotta open up to someone sometime.
Dean: Yeah, well. I don't.
Me: OH MY HEART.
Sam: *smirks*
Dean: Would you STOP?
Us: *totally helpless with mirth*
Dean: Blink or something.
Sam: You loved her.
Dean: Oh god.
Us: *howling with laughter*
Sam: You were in love with her, but you dumped her.
Dean: *looks at him*
Sam: Oh wow. She dumped you.
Dean: Get in the car. GET IN THE CAR.
The Male: Because I WILL leave your scrawny annoying ass here.
Me: *totally helpless*
Just... OMG! That exchange was just the sort of stuff to make me kick my gleeful little heels in the air and make incoherent noises. Flaily fists of fangirl squee!
Cassie: *is working*
Door: *is knocked upon*
Me: Who's there?
The Male: Goons.
Us: Hired goons.
Sidenote: I dunno what the general opinion is on this, but personally? I think Ackles and the actress do awesome at the seriously uneasy awkward. I really felt that thing, y'know, when just as soon as you see the other person it's like every single molecule in your body is in the wrong place. Just with the space and the leaning and... yeah. It really worked for me.
Anyway.
Cassie: Where's your brother?
Me: Killed him. Dumped his body in the swamp.
Cassie: Are we done with this metaphor?
Me: OK, she awesome.
Cassie: I thought it was what you wanted.
Dean: Well, it wasn't.
Cassie: I didn't mean to hurt you.
Dean: Well, you did.
Cassie: I'm sorry.
Dean: Yeah, me too.
Me: Good, glad that's sorted. Can we kiss now?
They kiss.
Me: \o/ Six points for me!
Sex scene: *happens*
Us: WITH THE MUSIC AGAIN OMG WTF?!
No, seriously, what is WITH the music? RIGHTEOUS GUITARS! They are our RIGHT, motherfuckers! Give it up!
Sex scene: *continues*
The Male: Bored now.
Me: I'm not.
The Male: I suppose you're going to call this character development.
Me: It's ALWAYS character development if he's naked.
OK, on a "character-development" personal squee level, I'm happy with it. I like seeing Dean a little frayed and desperate and not hanging on. I like seeing that focus put to a more recreational use. Hell, I just like seeing Dean get laid, but it means something, y'know? Also, Ackles-skin. Always a winner at Chez Dee.
Mayor: *does stuff with plans*
Me: When will they learn? Plans just get you killed.
Big truck: *shows up*
The Male: Up a tree. BEHIND a tree. DO SOMETHING SENSIBLE!
Mayor: *is cactus*
The Male: Idiot.
Dean: Hey, I tried. I told you who I really was. That was a big first for me.
Cassie: Why'd you tell me?
Dean: I don't know.
I'm so in love with his delivery of that line. SO IN LOVE.
Cassie: You told me that story... I thought you were nuts. Dangerous, even.
Me: I am dangerous, baby! *leer*
The Male: This post-coital discussion is BORING.
Me: Character development! He's still got his shirt off!
The Male: AND I am going to find that harpist and strangle him with his own strings.
Sam: Where were you last night? You didn't make it back to the motel.
The Male: That's RIGHT, baby boy!
Phone: *rings*
Dean: *answers it*
The Male: Piss OFF, Sammy, I'm trying to get some here.
Dean (to Sam): You got a date?
Me: Dean, if you take him to the prom, Cassie's going to get jealous.
Cassie: *is home in a dark house*
The Male: This is when we find out if the truck can fit in a house.
Lights: *go funny*
Big truck: *revs outside*
The Male: Six points to me!
Cassie: *closes the shutters*
Us: UPSTAIRS, you dozy bitch!
The Male: These people deserve to be Carmageddon fodder.
Dean: blah blah seeing a truck. Your daughter could DIE.
The Male: And that means no more sex for me, so give up the details, grandma.
Mrs Robinson: *infodumps*
Me: Are they going to explain why the spirit of the forty year old truck looks like it was bought and refitted yesterday?
The Male: No.
Me: Just checking.
Also, AGAIN with the WTF music. I'mma set fire to their string quartet, I SWEAR TO GOD.
Mrs R: And now there's no one left to protect.
Dean: Yes there is. *looks significantly at Cassie*
The Male: OH YEAH! Shit. Forgot all about her.
Me: Pass the bucket when you're done.
Sam: Occasionally I miss boring.
Dean: OK, so this killer truck...
Sam: I miss conversations that didn't start with "this killer truck"!
Me: HEE!
Dean: Who knows what ghosts are thinking anyway?
Me: Oh, I dunno, why don't we ask your PSYCHIC BROTHER.
Cassie: She's asleep. Now what?
The Male: NOOKIE. Oh, and Sam's going to go dredge the body out of the swamp.
Cassie: Don't go getting all authoritative on me. I hate it.
Me: Cos you SOUND like you love it. Oh Dean, don't do that, I hate it. Could you purr more?
They: *snog*
Sam: *smirks and clears his throat*
Me: Flip him the bird.
Corpse: *is crispy*
Sam: Think that'll do it?
Big truck: *shows up*
Dean: I guess not.
Me: Six points for Dean, and an election to the Ministry of Stating the Bleeding Obvious.
Car chase: *starts*
Me: OK, Carmageddon is all well and good, but DON'T FUCKING SCRATCH THE IMPALA!
The Male: Nah, write it off. They can get a VW Beetle for the rest of the season.
Sam: Hey, Cassie? I need some information and it has to be EXACTLY right.
Me: No pressure. But no more sex for you if you fuck up.
Big truck: *rearends Dean*
Me: NOT THE CAR!
Dean: Oh, you son of a bitch.
The Male: *cackles*
Dean: *goes seven tenths of a mile and stops*
Me: NICE handbrake turn. This really is the Carmageddon episode.
Big truck: *dissolves two inches short of the Impala*
Dean: *peeks*
Me: OK, someone get him a new pair of trousers.
Sam: Blah blah hallowed ground, spirit passes over, sometimes it's destroyed, figured maybe that'd get rid of it.
Me: Sometimes? MAYBE?
The Male: We gotta kill the bitch.
Dean: MAYBE? What if you were wrong?
Sam: Huh. Honestly, that thought hadn't occurred to me.
Us: *MIRTH!*
Dean: Well that honestly hadn't occured to me. I'm gonna kill him.
Us: *totally helpless*
Cassie: I'm a realist. I don't see much hope for us, Dean.
Me: She's dumping him AGAIN? She's a NUT!
Sam: You meet someone like her, it ever make you wonder if it's worth it, putting everything on hold, doing what we do?
Dean's little smirky thoughtful I don't know WHAT face, I just... *elopes with it*
And that's my final coherent word on that ep. *G*
Well, OK, "Route 666" in a nutshell: That was clearly not the writers' finest hour. But, similar to "Bugs", the character development stuff - and I'm NOT just talking about Dean's shirtlessness here - helped redeem the stupid story. And I liked Cassie. Though her hair was a little out of control. But she's not, y'know, IT. She's just a girl. She's just his girl. It's kinda awesome.
So yeah, this episode? Not so good. Frigging hilarious, though.
Route 666
Intro: 22 years ago
The Male: That baby is so fake. It's plastic.
Me: So not only is Sam actually Max, but he's plastic?
The Male: I just call it as I see it.
Big truck: *plays cat and mouse with the car*
Me: This episode is a Carmageddon level! A thousand points for the rear-ending!
Big truck: *disappears*
Driver: *looks uncertain*
The Male: Oh, he's not. He's NOT. He is NOT going to stop.
Me: No, he's not.
Big truck: *shows up ahead*
Driver: *slams on the brakes*
Me: OK, so he is.
Big truck: *totally shunts the car*
Me: You get a whole minute for that. Now slam him into something.
Car: *totals itself*
Me: YOU WASTED 'EM!
Um... yeah, I'm a huge Carmageddon fan. I love that game. So much. So I geeked out a bit. *G*
Big truck: *revs uselessly before disappearing*
Me: So it's gloating now?
So I see why they showed us "Skin" as the second ep in the double last night. Because Dean's opening thirty seconds of "Change of plans" in this ep syncs perfectly with Sam's "I'm going to hold my breath until you give in" from the start of Skin. Except Dean doesn't argue, he just tells Sammy to get his bitch ass in the car, and Sam's all, "Hang on, did I miss my chance to argue?" Bwahaha, these brothers. I heart them.
Sam: *smirks and pokes at Dean*
Me: *is helpless pile of giggles on the sofa*
Sam: Which, by the way... how does she know what we do?
Dean: *looks shifty*
Me: OMG his SHIFTY LOOK. He so awesome.
Sam: *Ranty McRant on the theme of "omg you told her"* DEAN!
Dean: Yeah, looks like.
Us: *helpless mirth!*
Cassie: *is feisty and opinionated!*
Me: Well, she's a fox.
The Male: Totally hot enough to know something.
The Lovers are Reunited!
Me: What the FUCK is with the music?!
The Male: TAKE that harp and SHOVE IT.
Sam: *smirks*
Me: *sniggers*
(The above sentiment can basically be considered the Standard Operating Procedure for this episode, in fact.)
Dean: Sorry about your Dad.
The Male: Huh? Oh, yeah, my Dad. That's right.
Cassie: He sold cars. Always drove a new one.
The Male: Used car salesman. Totally deserved it.
Dean: And the first person killed was a friend of your father's?
Cassie: Yes... they owned the car dealership together.
The Male: So it's targeting dodgy used car salesmen.
Cassie: I'm a little skeptical about this... ghost stuff. or whatever it is you guys do.
Dean: Huh. Skeptical. If I remember right you said it was NUTS.
Cassie: That was then.
Dean: Mm.
I cannot draw big enough hearts around that exchange. They're a little shakey because I'm giggling so hard, but they're there, yo!
Car: *is totalled*
Big truck: *revs a lot*
Me: Enough with the gloating.
The Male: Nah, I think it's bogged.
Me: Aw nuts. Call the RACV.
OK, the whole scene with the tie-tying and Sam-poking? I was out for the count. I was just about hyperventilating with giggles. Giggles of AWESOME.
Sam: It's just an interesting observation, in a, y'know, observationally interesting way.
Dean: You think we might have some more pressing issues here?
Sam: Hey, if I'm hitting a nerve...
Dean: Oh, let's go.
The Male: *loses it as well*
The boys: *are well-suited*
The Male: Dean CANNOT tie a tie.
Me: He proved that earlier.
The Male: Look at that. LOOK AT IT. Goddamn painful. Can't he get Sam to do it or something?
I just love watching him walk like he does in that suit. It's fucking hilarious. Also, hot. But at periods during the whole scene, the Male was making disgusted noises. Boys and their fucking perfectionist Windsors.
Sam: OK, you work that angle; go talk to her.
Dean: I will.
Sam: And you might want to mention that other thing.
Dean: What other thing?
Me: The fact that I SERIOUSLY need a haircut. Or maybe it's just limp in the swamp air.
Sam: Everyone's gotta open up to someone sometime.
Dean: Yeah, well. I don't.
Me: OH MY HEART.
Sam: *smirks*
Dean: Would you STOP?
Us: *totally helpless with mirth*
Dean: Blink or something.
Sam: You loved her.
Dean: Oh god.
Us: *howling with laughter*
Sam: You were in love with her, but you dumped her.
Dean: *looks at him*
Sam: Oh wow. She dumped you.
Dean: Get in the car. GET IN THE CAR.
The Male: Because I WILL leave your scrawny annoying ass here.
Me: *totally helpless*
Just... OMG! That exchange was just the sort of stuff to make me kick my gleeful little heels in the air and make incoherent noises. Flaily fists of fangirl squee!
Cassie: *is working*
Door: *is knocked upon*
Me: Who's there?
The Male: Goons.
Us: Hired goons.
Sidenote: I dunno what the general opinion is on this, but personally? I think Ackles and the actress do awesome at the seriously uneasy awkward. I really felt that thing, y'know, when just as soon as you see the other person it's like every single molecule in your body is in the wrong place. Just with the space and the leaning and... yeah. It really worked for me.
Anyway.
Cassie: Where's your brother?
Me: Killed him. Dumped his body in the swamp.
Cassie: Are we done with this metaphor?
Me: OK, she awesome.
Cassie: I thought it was what you wanted.
Dean: Well, it wasn't.
Cassie: I didn't mean to hurt you.
Dean: Well, you did.
Cassie: I'm sorry.
Dean: Yeah, me too.
Me: Good, glad that's sorted. Can we kiss now?
They kiss.
Me: \o/ Six points for me!
Sex scene: *happens*
Us: WITH THE MUSIC AGAIN OMG WTF?!
No, seriously, what is WITH the music? RIGHTEOUS GUITARS! They are our RIGHT, motherfuckers! Give it up!
Sex scene: *continues*
The Male: Bored now.
Me: I'm not.
The Male: I suppose you're going to call this character development.
Me: It's ALWAYS character development if he's naked.
OK, on a "character-development" personal squee level, I'm happy with it. I like seeing Dean a little frayed and desperate and not hanging on. I like seeing that focus put to a more recreational use. Hell, I just like seeing Dean get laid, but it means something, y'know? Also, Ackles-skin. Always a winner at Chez Dee.
Mayor: *does stuff with plans*
Me: When will they learn? Plans just get you killed.
Big truck: *shows up*
The Male: Up a tree. BEHIND a tree. DO SOMETHING SENSIBLE!
Mayor: *is cactus*
The Male: Idiot.
Dean: Hey, I tried. I told you who I really was. That was a big first for me.
Cassie: Why'd you tell me?
Dean: I don't know.
I'm so in love with his delivery of that line. SO IN LOVE.
Cassie: You told me that story... I thought you were nuts. Dangerous, even.
Me: I am dangerous, baby! *leer*
The Male: This post-coital discussion is BORING.
Me: Character development! He's still got his shirt off!
The Male: AND I am going to find that harpist and strangle him with his own strings.
Sam: Where were you last night? You didn't make it back to the motel.
The Male: That's RIGHT, baby boy!
Phone: *rings*
Dean: *answers it*
The Male: Piss OFF, Sammy, I'm trying to get some here.
Dean (to Sam): You got a date?
Me: Dean, if you take him to the prom, Cassie's going to get jealous.
Cassie: *is home in a dark house*
The Male: This is when we find out if the truck can fit in a house.
Lights: *go funny*
Big truck: *revs outside*
The Male: Six points to me!
Cassie: *closes the shutters*
Us: UPSTAIRS, you dozy bitch!
The Male: These people deserve to be Carmageddon fodder.
Dean: blah blah seeing a truck. Your daughter could DIE.
The Male: And that means no more sex for me, so give up the details, grandma.
Mrs Robinson: *infodumps*
Me: Are they going to explain why the spirit of the forty year old truck looks like it was bought and refitted yesterday?
The Male: No.
Me: Just checking.
Also, AGAIN with the WTF music. I'mma set fire to their string quartet, I SWEAR TO GOD.
Mrs R: And now there's no one left to protect.
Dean: Yes there is. *looks significantly at Cassie*
The Male: OH YEAH! Shit. Forgot all about her.
Me: Pass the bucket when you're done.
Sam: Occasionally I miss boring.
Dean: OK, so this killer truck...
Sam: I miss conversations that didn't start with "this killer truck"!
Me: HEE!
Dean: Who knows what ghosts are thinking anyway?
Me: Oh, I dunno, why don't we ask your PSYCHIC BROTHER.
Cassie: She's asleep. Now what?
The Male: NOOKIE. Oh, and Sam's going to go dredge the body out of the swamp.
Cassie: Don't go getting all authoritative on me. I hate it.
Me: Cos you SOUND like you love it. Oh Dean, don't do that, I hate it. Could you purr more?
They: *snog*
Sam: *smirks and clears his throat*
Me: Flip him the bird.
Corpse: *is crispy*
Sam: Think that'll do it?
Big truck: *shows up*
Dean: I guess not.
Me: Six points for Dean, and an election to the Ministry of Stating the Bleeding Obvious.
Car chase: *starts*
Me: OK, Carmageddon is all well and good, but DON'T FUCKING SCRATCH THE IMPALA!
The Male: Nah, write it off. They can get a VW Beetle for the rest of the season.
Sam: Hey, Cassie? I need some information and it has to be EXACTLY right.
Me: No pressure. But no more sex for you if you fuck up.
Big truck: *rearends Dean*
Me: NOT THE CAR!
Dean: Oh, you son of a bitch.
The Male: *cackles*
Dean: *goes seven tenths of a mile and stops*
Me: NICE handbrake turn. This really is the Carmageddon episode.
Big truck: *dissolves two inches short of the Impala*
Dean: *peeks*
Me: OK, someone get him a new pair of trousers.
Sam: Blah blah hallowed ground, spirit passes over, sometimes it's destroyed, figured maybe that'd get rid of it.
Me: Sometimes? MAYBE?
The Male: We gotta kill the bitch.
Dean: MAYBE? What if you were wrong?
Sam: Huh. Honestly, that thought hadn't occurred to me.
Us: *MIRTH!*
Dean: Well that honestly hadn't occured to me. I'm gonna kill him.
Us: *totally helpless*
Cassie: I'm a realist. I don't see much hope for us, Dean.
Me: She's dumping him AGAIN? She's a NUT!
Sam: You meet someone like her, it ever make you wonder if it's worth it, putting everything on hold, doing what we do?
Dean's little smirky thoughtful I don't know WHAT face, I just... *elopes with it*
And that's my final coherent word on that ep. *G*
Well, OK, "Route 666" in a nutshell: That was clearly not the writers' finest hour. But, similar to "Bugs", the character development stuff - and I'm NOT just talking about Dean's shirtlessness here - helped redeem the stupid story. And I liked Cassie. Though her hair was a little out of control. But she's not, y'know, IT. She's just a girl. She's just his girl. It's kinda awesome.