Beeping Rant

Mar 09, 2010 22:24

Today's pointless rant brought to you by idiotic design feature #259: the beeping machine ( Read more... )

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Comments 28

lavvyan March 9 2010, 14:36:05 UTC
God, yes. I've taken to hovering beside the microwave so I can pull it open the moment it's done. Never mind that the egg boiler sounds almost exactly like the smoke detector, so I had to explain to my neighbours that, no, I'm not in the habit of semi-regularly trying to set the flat on fire.

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cupidsbow March 9 2010, 14:49:10 UTC
Just... why? How hard would it be to make it optional?

I really hate technology that's meant to make life better/safer/easier but which actually is so badly designed, it makes you want to become a Luddite instead and never press a button again.

Design principles 101, people! Test your cunning idea out on actual people before you inflict it one the world.

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lavvyan March 9 2010, 15:27:48 UTC
I wouldn't even complain if my microwave were more like the Japanese car in Good Omens, so instead of incessant beeping I'd get haiku:

Firs dusted with snow:
No nest yet for the robin.
Your meal is ready.

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cupidsbow March 9 2010, 15:37:19 UTC
That would be awesome. I think I could live with that too.

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dfordoom March 9 2010, 14:44:26 UTC
Our microwave never stops with the beeping. The toaster oven beeps as well, but mercifully we don't have any other beeping appliances.

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cupidsbow March 9 2010, 14:52:34 UTC
It's like a curse. I don't have a toaster, thank goodness.

I don't understand where this philosophy comes from, but even my computer flashes things at me -- on and on and on -- and all too rarely gives the option of 'never show me this again, no matter how awesome or free it is'. I have to go into the control panel and uninstall things I never wanted in the first place. Bah. At least I can, though, unlike the beeping.

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rabbit1080 March 9 2010, 15:56:58 UTC
It's not "free" if it uses/wastes my valuable attention. And my computer should get off my lawn. :-P

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laughingacademy March 9 2010, 14:54:58 UTC
Have you ever read Ray Bradbury's short story "The Murderer"? It's about a man driven insane by the incessant din of "modern" (i.e. 1960s sci-fi) life - omnipresent Muzak, people talking on wrist phones, appliances that tell you when they're done, etc. - who starts fighting back. It ends with him in a padded room, blissfully happy because he's away from the damned noise. Let's just say I deeply sympathized when I first read it, and nothing in the intervening years has changed that opinion.

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cupidsbow March 9 2010, 15:06:37 UTC
I haven't! I like Bradbury, though, so I shall have to go find it. Thanks for the rec.

Also, your icon is a thing of joy.

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seekergeek March 9 2010, 14:58:58 UTC
OMG YES. And may I add to that the automatic checkouts that talk to you? I find myself giving those things the finger every time I have to use one. I know what to do, goddamnit!

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cupidsbow March 9 2010, 15:05:45 UTC
Yes! Like you're a moron who doesn't know how to place a bag in the bagging area, when it's actually their stupid design which means your green bag keeps sliding off. Or the implication that you are an idiot for not being able to scan something, when actually you have ten of them and you are vainly looking for the 'scan x 10' option. But noooo, how stupid of you, of course you have to scan each item seperately even though they are identical and have the same bar code.

Bah.

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seekergeek March 9 2010, 16:11:09 UTC
Gah, don't even get me started on the lack of space to actually put your damned groceries on those things! Why do they only give you a few fucking inches worth of space that's smaller than the basket you used?

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lavvyan March 9 2010, 15:30:30 UTC
In my little hometown, we have talking railroad crossings. As in, before the barriers come down, there's a friendly bing-bong sound and a tape telling you to leave the tracks because, you know, the barriers are going to come down. WHY?

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treacle_tartlet March 9 2010, 15:24:22 UTC
I remember standing in my kitchen once (it was when my daughter was tiny, and I was sleep deprived), trying to work out whether it was the washing machine, the microwave, or the dishwasher that was beeping at me. After some investigation it turned out to be the fridge, which I had left slightly open...

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