Ouran: One Last Time
This is my entry for ouran_contest's "Last" theme. It's weird that all but one of my entries have been about Tamaki so far. I guess he's just the character I relate to the best XD This story is very sentimental to me, because I had a big group of family-like friends in high school that I drifted away from after we entered the "real world".
One Last Time
All my time is froze in motion
Can't I stay an hour or two or more?
Don't let me let you go
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well
Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon
Tamaki can’t help but ponder, as he stands twisting his hands and wondering what he is going to say, that he was always last. It is an inescapable fact that pulls at the edges of his mind, although he knows there are far more important matters at hand that he should be thinking about. He stands in his place (last in line) and looks forward toward the front. Sweat is beginning to bead on his forehead with the effort of thinking of something to say, and he knows he is running out of time. Kaoru has already gone, and now Hikaru is at the front. This leaves only Kyouya in front of him. Time is scarce. As hard as he tries to keep his one-track mind set on the task at hand, his thoughts keep straying to old times, to random thoughts and memories.
He was the last one to figure out that Haruhi was a girl, although there was that instant attraction there that he had never experienced toward a male, and there was the slight feminine hints to her appearance. It had completely eluded him for the longest time, however, and now he feels stupid remembering it. Tamaki has never been good at noticing details, and this was only one prime example. When he realized her true gender, he was more than a bit relieved. Now these feelings made sense, and he could breathe a sigh of relief that they weren’t directed toward a boy. He did his best to ignore them, but they were there all the same, and at lonely moments he was grateful for them.
Tamaki had been the last one to dance with her. He had wanted so badly to be the one to teach her the waltz, but Kanako had beaten him to it (“And you’re a boy,” she had argued). He had sat and watched as she was taught, and then watched again in dismay as the twins danced with Haruhi at the ball… until she hurt her foot. He hadn’t gotten a chance, and it made him want to scream in frustration. Even at the ball during the festival, it wasn’t until the others had all gotten their turn that he finally managed to ask her to dance, and then it was only for a short moment, a single breath of their worlds feeling like they were one. After almost leaving the school, only to be brought back by Haruhi herself, it felt like a first in many ways.
Much to his own dismay, Tamaki had even been the last member of the Host Club to kiss her. Hunny kissed her nose in a brotherly fashion many, many times. Mori had a habit of kissing her on the top of the head when she was staring off into space. Hikaru and Kaoru favored flying in, one on either side, and kissing her cheeks when she wasn’t expecting it. And of course, even Kyouya had kissed her on the temple a time or two. They all adored their Haruhi, and showing her affection was much easier than showing it to other people. Tamaki sensed this as well, and tried to make it known. But when he had kissed her forehead in what he had hoped was a paternal gesture, its effect had been strange. Haruhi had been strangely distant for days, and to this day he still had no idea what her reaction had meant. Soon afterward he had become so preoccupied with the situation with Megumi that he had completely forgotten to ask her why she was behaving that way.
Tamaki watches Kyouya step forward, and he utters a soft sigh. Despite being the king of the Host Club back in high school and one of the most popular boys at Hino University, he still seems to be last at everything. Even now, he is going to be the last one to tell his dear Haruhi goodbye. It makes his heart quiver slightly to think that his own dear Haruhi is going away for college. To America, no less. The thought of allowing her to go so far away from him is a staggering, painful one, and he can barely stand to keep it in his vision.
Surprised to find himself blinking back tears, Tamaki tries his hardest to think of the things he will say to her when he steps up to say those last goodbyes. He knows they will see each other again, but he also knows from experience that college and distance and growing up change you in ways you aren’t prepared for. When they meet again, things will not be the same. This is their last time as the old Tamaki and Haruhi, the last time he can pretend they are still back at Ouran and the seven of them are like one big family. These are the last fleeting moments of their old lives together, like fragile petals being carried away from him in the breeze. Though he tries desperately to cling to them, they elude his fingertips and scamper away and out of sight.
The changes that will become magnified soon are already evident; Hunny and Mori went away to Osaka for university two years ago, and their goodbyes to Haruhi had been over the phone. Tamaki shivered slightly. He is still at the reigns, driving their carriage, but one by one his passengers are getting off at their own separate stops; the twins at Obata University, Kyouya at the prestigious Tsuda University, Hunny and Mori enrolled in Osaka at Takaya University, himself at Hino, and Haruhi going all the way to America to pursue a degree first from a law school in New York, then Harvard. Soon he will be left driving an empty carriage, but at what stop will he be getting off? At what point will he abandon the idealistic world he has created with the Host Club and stride forth alone into the real world? He feels for a moment that all the others have completely forgotten what they had, and that he is left alone clinging to what is left. He is, yet again, the last.
“Tamaki-sempai?” only Haruhi’s voice shakes him out of his deep thought, and he can’t help but smile at that fact they she still referres to him as her sempai. Kyouya gives him a swift nod as Tamaki moves over to the young girl who will soon disappear into the horizon on a plane, shattering the last remnants of the past. He has avoided looking at her before now, afraid he would break down in a whirlwind of sentiment in the airport, but as he raises his eyes to her now, he is surprised by what he sees. She is wearing the soft magenta skirt that the twins’ mother made her long ago, along with a ruffled yellow shirt that Tamaki remembers purchasing for her at a bazaar. This isn’t what surprises him, however… it is the fact that over the shirt, she is wearing a powder-blue blazer adorned with the Ouran High School crest. Haruhi seems to notice him looking at it, and avoids his eyes.
“You’re… wearing your high school jacket?” Tamaki asks, cocking his head.
“I know it seems a little silly and sentimental…” Haruhi pauses for a moment, and seems to be choosing her words carefully. “But I’m really going to miss being with everyone, and I feel like maybe if I wear it, I’ll feel like I’m not so far away from back when we all first met.”
Tamaki is very aware of the tears that prickle the corners of his eyes as he lunges forward, pulling her into a rib-crushing hug. He isn’t the last to abandon the past after all; Haruhi still clings to it as well, perhaps with even more ferocity than he does. She never ceases to surprise him. He hangs onto Haruhi just as tightly as he does the past, and he swears he can see every moment of the past three years flying past his vision, from the day they met to the times in between and back to the present. He is left with a drained, shaking feeling as he keeps her close to his chest. A slight smile crosses his lips as he realizes that yet again he is last… last to realize that change isn’t enough to break the ties that bind them together.
“Tamaki?” Haruhi asks, and it is then that he realizes he is squeezing her far too tight. Loosening his grip, he smiles at her. She jumps slightly when he places a light kiss on her cheek, catching a strand of her hair under his lips and feeling her skin heat up beneath the delicate brush of his mouth.
“I may have been the last one of us to do a lot of things with you Haruhi,” he tells her, giving her a very serious look and receiving a baffled one in return. “But… I’m not going to be the last to say that I love you,” his voice trembles slightly, but he refuses to let it fall. “And I do. I love you, Haruhi.”
The girl in his arms freezes for a moment, and when her initial surprise fades away, she slowly smiles. “I love you too, Tamaki,” she tells him, and he isn’t sure whether to blush, to smile, or to fly into theatrics in a way he hasn’t done in months. He chooses to kiss her again instead, pressing his lips to her forehead briefly and tucking a flyaway lock of hair behind her ear. There is no way to be sure how she meant those three words, but Tamaki smiles widely and is filled with sunshine anyway. He is growing up, and he supposes part of this is not agonizing over every tiny detail.
“Don’t forget about us, Haruhi,” he tells her with a slightly teasing smile. “When you’re a famous lawyer and you make a guest appearance on Law and Order and everyone wants your autograph.”
Despite his joking tone, Haruhi’s reaction is serious. She lunges into his arms then, something he certainly does’t expect, and buries her face into the fabric of his shirt. “I could never forget about you,” she assures him, and for a moment he swears he hears tears in her voice. The loud, blaring voice in the loudspeakers announces that the flight Haruhi is taking will leave in five minutes. Slowly, she pulls back, and though her eyes are unexpectedly wet, she is smiling. The twins move forward and hug Haruhi in unison, and Haruhi grabs Tamaki’s sleeve, pulling him into the embrace. He shoots Kyouya a pleading glance, and with a heavy sigh the professional-looking boy moves over and joins them, squeezing into their tight circle. It is only a moment before suddenly something small worms its way into their group hug, waving a pink bunny around and clinging to their waists. A large figure joins in as well from behind, and Tamaki smiles contentedly, struck with the feeling that nothing in the world is missing.
“You didn’t really think we’d miss a chance to say goodbye to Haru-chan, did you!?” Hunny asks. His voice has deepened in the last two years, but there is little else different about him. Mori has grown even taller, and he looms over the group, but the effect is comforting rather than disturbing. “Takashi and I decided we couldn’t miss getting to be together like this one last time!”
One last time… this sounds bittersweet in Tamaki’s ears, and he hugs those around him tightly, relishing these last moments of the old days before they vanish into thin air. There is a silence in which they all hold each other tightly, and Tamaki realizes that none of them want to let go of the warm, comfortable past. And so, he smiles happily and savors being close to his Host Club one last time.
It’s Haruhi who pulls away first, glancing frantically over her shoulder at the people entering the terminal. She is going to miss her plane if she doesn’t hurry, and they all know it. She bites her lip and picks up her carry-on suitcase, turning toward the terminal. As she hurries toward her plane, she stops for a moment, and faces them. Tamaki swears her eyes lock with his as she waves and mouths “goodbye”. Then she turns away again and disappears inside the plane, leaving Tamaki standing there surrounded by the others. Though Haruhi is gone, and though things are going to change, he smiles.
For the moment, he feels completely at peace with the world, and he is determined, if nothing else, to make this feeling last.
Dedicated to the friend whose photo I still keep on my desk. I love you, and though I've only seen you a handful of times since graduation, I promise I'll always care just much as I always did. You're still my sunshine.
One Last Time
All my time is froze in motion
Can't I stay an hour or two or more?
Don't let me let you go
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well
Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon
Tamaki can’t help but ponder, as he stands twisting his hands and wondering what he is going to say, that he was always last. It is an inescapable fact that pulls at the edges of his mind, although he knows there are far more important matters at hand that he should be thinking about. He stands in his place (last in line) and looks forward toward the front. Sweat is beginning to bead on his forehead with the effort of thinking of something to say, and he knows he is running out of time. Kaoru has already gone, and now Hikaru is at the front. This leaves only Kyouya in front of him. Time is scarce. As hard as he tries to keep his one-track mind set on the task at hand, his thoughts keep straying to old times, to random thoughts and memories.
He was the last one to figure out that Haruhi was a girl, although there was that instant attraction there that he had never experienced toward a male, and there was the slight feminine hints to her appearance. It had completely eluded him for the longest time, however, and now he feels stupid remembering it. Tamaki has never been good at noticing details, and this was only one prime example. When he realized her true gender, he was more than a bit relieved. Now these feelings made sense, and he could breathe a sigh of relief that they weren’t directed toward a boy. He did his best to ignore them, but they were there all the same, and at lonely moments he was grateful for them.
Tamaki had been the last one to dance with her. He had wanted so badly to be the one to teach her the waltz, but Kanako had beaten him to it (“And you’re a boy,” she had argued). He had sat and watched as she was taught, and then watched again in dismay as the twins danced with Haruhi at the ball… until she hurt her foot. He hadn’t gotten a chance, and it made him want to scream in frustration. Even at the ball during the festival, it wasn’t until the others had all gotten their turn that he finally managed to ask her to dance, and then it was only for a short moment, a single breath of their worlds feeling like they were one. After almost leaving the school, only to be brought back by Haruhi herself, it felt like a first in many ways.
Much to his own dismay, Tamaki had even been the last member of the Host Club to kiss her. Hunny kissed her nose in a brotherly fashion many, many times. Mori had a habit of kissing her on the top of the head when she was staring off into space. Hikaru and Kaoru favored flying in, one on either side, and kissing her cheeks when she wasn’t expecting it. And of course, even Kyouya had kissed her on the temple a time or two. They all adored their Haruhi, and showing her affection was much easier than showing it to other people. Tamaki sensed this as well, and tried to make it known. But when he had kissed her forehead in what he had hoped was a paternal gesture, its effect had been strange. Haruhi had been strangely distant for days, and to this day he still had no idea what her reaction had meant. Soon afterward he had become so preoccupied with the situation with Megumi that he had completely forgotten to ask her why she was behaving that way.
Tamaki watches Kyouya step forward, and he utters a soft sigh. Despite being the king of the Host Club back in high school and one of the most popular boys at Hino University, he still seems to be last at everything. Even now, he is going to be the last one to tell his dear Haruhi goodbye. It makes his heart quiver slightly to think that his own dear Haruhi is going away for college. To America, no less. The thought of allowing her to go so far away from him is a staggering, painful one, and he can barely stand to keep it in his vision.
Surprised to find himself blinking back tears, Tamaki tries his hardest to think of the things he will say to her when he steps up to say those last goodbyes. He knows they will see each other again, but he also knows from experience that college and distance and growing up change you in ways you aren’t prepared for. When they meet again, things will not be the same. This is their last time as the old Tamaki and Haruhi, the last time he can pretend they are still back at Ouran and the seven of them are like one big family. These are the last fleeting moments of their old lives together, like fragile petals being carried away from him in the breeze. Though he tries desperately to cling to them, they elude his fingertips and scamper away and out of sight.
The changes that will become magnified soon are already evident; Hunny and Mori went away to Osaka for university two years ago, and their goodbyes to Haruhi had been over the phone. Tamaki shivered slightly. He is still at the reigns, driving their carriage, but one by one his passengers are getting off at their own separate stops; the twins at Obata University, Kyouya at the prestigious Tsuda University, Hunny and Mori enrolled in Osaka at Takaya University, himself at Hino, and Haruhi going all the way to America to pursue a degree first from a law school in New York, then Harvard. Soon he will be left driving an empty carriage, but at what stop will he be getting off? At what point will he abandon the idealistic world he has created with the Host Club and stride forth alone into the real world? He feels for a moment that all the others have completely forgotten what they had, and that he is left alone clinging to what is left. He is, yet again, the last.
“Tamaki-sempai?” only Haruhi’s voice shakes him out of his deep thought, and he can’t help but smile at that fact they she still referres to him as her sempai. Kyouya gives him a swift nod as Tamaki moves over to the young girl who will soon disappear into the horizon on a plane, shattering the last remnants of the past. He has avoided looking at her before now, afraid he would break down in a whirlwind of sentiment in the airport, but as he raises his eyes to her now, he is surprised by what he sees. She is wearing the soft magenta skirt that the twins’ mother made her long ago, along with a ruffled yellow shirt that Tamaki remembers purchasing for her at a bazaar. This isn’t what surprises him, however… it is the fact that over the shirt, she is wearing a powder-blue blazer adorned with the Ouran High School crest. Haruhi seems to notice him looking at it, and avoids his eyes.
“You’re… wearing your high school jacket?” Tamaki asks, cocking his head.
“I know it seems a little silly and sentimental…” Haruhi pauses for a moment, and seems to be choosing her words carefully. “But I’m really going to miss being with everyone, and I feel like maybe if I wear it, I’ll feel like I’m not so far away from back when we all first met.”
Tamaki is very aware of the tears that prickle the corners of his eyes as he lunges forward, pulling her into a rib-crushing hug. He isn’t the last to abandon the past after all; Haruhi still clings to it as well, perhaps with even more ferocity than he does. She never ceases to surprise him. He hangs onto Haruhi just as tightly as he does the past, and he swears he can see every moment of the past three years flying past his vision, from the day they met to the times in between and back to the present. He is left with a drained, shaking feeling as he keeps her close to his chest. A slight smile crosses his lips as he realizes that yet again he is last… last to realize that change isn’t enough to break the ties that bind them together.
“Tamaki?” Haruhi asks, and it is then that he realizes he is squeezing her far too tight. Loosening his grip, he smiles at her. She jumps slightly when he places a light kiss on her cheek, catching a strand of her hair under his lips and feeling her skin heat up beneath the delicate brush of his mouth.
“I may have been the last one of us to do a lot of things with you Haruhi,” he tells her, giving her a very serious look and receiving a baffled one in return. “But… I’m not going to be the last to say that I love you,” his voice trembles slightly, but he refuses to let it fall. “And I do. I love you, Haruhi.”
The girl in his arms freezes for a moment, and when her initial surprise fades away, she slowly smiles. “I love you too, Tamaki,” she tells him, and he isn’t sure whether to blush, to smile, or to fly into theatrics in a way he hasn’t done in months. He chooses to kiss her again instead, pressing his lips to her forehead briefly and tucking a flyaway lock of hair behind her ear. There is no way to be sure how she meant those three words, but Tamaki smiles widely and is filled with sunshine anyway. He is growing up, and he supposes part of this is not agonizing over every tiny detail.
“Don’t forget about us, Haruhi,” he tells her with a slightly teasing smile. “When you’re a famous lawyer and you make a guest appearance on Law and Order and everyone wants your autograph.”
Despite his joking tone, Haruhi’s reaction is serious. She lunges into his arms then, something he certainly does’t expect, and buries her face into the fabric of his shirt. “I could never forget about you,” she assures him, and for a moment he swears he hears tears in her voice. The loud, blaring voice in the loudspeakers announces that the flight Haruhi is taking will leave in five minutes. Slowly, she pulls back, and though her eyes are unexpectedly wet, she is smiling. The twins move forward and hug Haruhi in unison, and Haruhi grabs Tamaki’s sleeve, pulling him into the embrace. He shoots Kyouya a pleading glance, and with a heavy sigh the professional-looking boy moves over and joins them, squeezing into their tight circle. It is only a moment before suddenly something small worms its way into their group hug, waving a pink bunny around and clinging to their waists. A large figure joins in as well from behind, and Tamaki smiles contentedly, struck with the feeling that nothing in the world is missing.
“You didn’t really think we’d miss a chance to say goodbye to Haru-chan, did you!?” Hunny asks. His voice has deepened in the last two years, but there is little else different about him. Mori has grown even taller, and he looms over the group, but the effect is comforting rather than disturbing. “Takashi and I decided we couldn’t miss getting to be together like this one last time!”
One last time… this sounds bittersweet in Tamaki’s ears, and he hugs those around him tightly, relishing these last moments of the old days before they vanish into thin air. There is a silence in which they all hold each other tightly, and Tamaki realizes that none of them want to let go of the warm, comfortable past. And so, he smiles happily and savors being close to his Host Club one last time.
It’s Haruhi who pulls away first, glancing frantically over her shoulder at the people entering the terminal. She is going to miss her plane if she doesn’t hurry, and they all know it. She bites her lip and picks up her carry-on suitcase, turning toward the terminal. As she hurries toward her plane, she stops for a moment, and faces them. Tamaki swears her eyes lock with his as she waves and mouths “goodbye”. Then she turns away again and disappears inside the plane, leaving Tamaki standing there surrounded by the others. Though Haruhi is gone, and though things are going to change, he smiles.
For the moment, he feels completely at peace with the world, and he is determined, if nothing else, to make this feeling last.
Dedicated to the friend whose photo I still keep on my desk. I love you, and though I've only seen you a handful of times since graduation, I promise I'll always care just much as I always did. You're still my sunshine.