(no subject)
here again. got another hair cut. it looks like, shit, but then, that's about the least of my problems, just a sad inconveniece. i always sink into avoidance of so many people. my insecrities of everyone else make me not want to eat, not want to live, that i may consume myself, and not be apart of anyone. or anything. oh, you're ugly, you're such a stupid fag. these words shouldn't matter. but yet my mind tells myself they do. but i can't feel this way. i have to force a smile. before i break out again. for the benefit of myself, nd everyone else. not that much people really care. i am a hostage to my own mind, i retain myself, and i control what happens in my life. i've made wrong dicisions. some peple, they look at someone i used to be. the idiot i used to be last year. but all i really tried to do was make my life a tad bit better. and look whAT it's got me. i look at that guy, and i want to slap him. but i want to help him, stir him away from everything that would lie ahead. . so no more, stick to socialization, and not be the scapegoat of foul conversation. i hope.