think dammit.
i think, in a way, we all go through some kind of unique cycle, where we do something repetitively, sometimes good, sometimes bad, sometimes consistently, and other times once in a while through elongated periods of time. and here i go, can't sleep, shot by the most redundant thoughts, and some growing into so much of a problem, they scar my mind and stop me from doing anything.
of course we go through this cycle, for personal, and sometimes altruistic gain (but then again, don't acts of altruism give you a sense of self-rightousness in the end, thus suiting the personal ego?) but sometimes when such cyles continue, we gain nothing, in persuit of everything, but go on wanting more.
and why do we go on, desperately, when all in all it is hard to persevere? what the freaking hell gives us the integrity to craft the perfect poem about how everything is going to get better, when it won't? but then... experiences which hurt the soul only deepen it, which help us craft the paintings, literature, of deepest and purest expression.
so, what drives us to the persuit of happiness, when our expectations are out of reach?
of course we go through this cycle, for personal, and sometimes altruistic gain (but then again, don't acts of altruism give you a sense of self-rightousness in the end, thus suiting the personal ego?) but sometimes when such cyles continue, we gain nothing, in persuit of everything, but go on wanting more.
and why do we go on, desperately, when all in all it is hard to persevere? what the freaking hell gives us the integrity to craft the perfect poem about how everything is going to get better, when it won't? but then... experiences which hurt the soul only deepen it, which help us craft the paintings, literature, of deepest and purest expression.
so, what drives us to the persuit of happiness, when our expectations are out of reach?