And another.

[cult_azure]

I haven't cried - broken down and sobbed - for a long time.

Apparently, walking straight into what's supposed to be a "we're mad at you, but we're going to tell you what you need to fix" session that turns into a "you don't deserve this, other people do and they're not, you messed up, you're lazy, this is unacceptable" session is one of the things that can do it to me.

What infuriates me the most is that he told me last night, "If you really want to fight for this, come armed tomorrow, look through and see what you would change if you were going to a job interview," so I did, I stayed up last night and made lists of exactly what I thought should be changed, and when I got there today it was quite obvious he was never going to listen to what I had to say. And to have to deal with both of them push-push-pushing me to admit that it was all my fault, even if most of it was, I can't stand it, and I still have to face him in class today. I may just not go, but that would be letting him win.

I think I'm still going to cry for a while, though.