WHY?!
DAMNIT!!! AGAIN!!! why am i doing this?? im just making myself more miserable by bringing my hopes up... i wish it would all just change!! i dont wanna feel this anymore... its obviously usless... you think youre getting close, then all of a sudden you get slapped in the face, even tho a small part of you knew it was coming...
school starts tomorrow, and im hoping things will change... whether for the good or bad, i dont care, it really cant get much worse...
i sometimes wonder if this is happening on purpose... if that someone knows whats going on, and theyre messing with me... or if they like how im feeling right now, and they feel powerful, and that they have control over me... i know they dont mean any harm... or maybe they do... perhaps theyre doing this to get back... for what? i dont know... i just really wish i could understand what was going on...
i always wonder what they think. no, i cant ask. that would skrew things up more, i know it. im not sure how... maybe i just still have this small speck of hope that there is a chance...
a teeny tiny chance...
ive learned that wishing doesnt get you anywhere... ive tried to give up, but its just not that easy... if only you knew. but be glad you dont...
and still...
i wonder if this person does know...
school starts tomorrow, and im hoping things will change... whether for the good or bad, i dont care, it really cant get much worse...
i sometimes wonder if this is happening on purpose... if that someone knows whats going on, and theyre messing with me... or if they like how im feeling right now, and they feel powerful, and that they have control over me... i know they dont mean any harm... or maybe they do... perhaps theyre doing this to get back... for what? i dont know... i just really wish i could understand what was going on...
i always wonder what they think. no, i cant ask. that would skrew things up more, i know it. im not sure how... maybe i just still have this small speck of hope that there is a chance...
a teeny tiny chance...
ive learned that wishing doesnt get you anywhere... ive tried to give up, but its just not that easy... if only you knew. but be glad you dont...
and still...
i wonder if this person does know...