The Best Laid Plans of Pirates and Marines -- Part One
Title: The Best Laid Plans of Pirates and Marines
Fandom: One Piece
Pairing(s): Zoro x Sanji, slight Nami x Usopp
Rating: PG-13 as of now
Disclaimer: One Piece and its characters do not belong to me.
Warnings: Language and suggestiveness
A/N: This story has been in my head for soooo bloody long! I'm not taking it quite as seriously as my other stuff, so it shouldn't be too long between updates.
Part One
The sun was high in the sky and warm on the deck of the Going Merry. Everyone was in high spirits in reflection of the good weather. Everyone except Roronoa Zoro. Zoro had some tension due to a snogging session with a certain blonde chef the night before, which had heated up quick…and ended just as quickly. Zoro was not pleased, nor were a couple of choice parts of his body. So, he was sitting on the deck, moodily lifting a weight, and doing whatever the manliest form of pouting was.
He didn’t get why Sanji had to be so uptight about the whole thing. It wasn’t like anyone was awake at the time of night they generally chose for their…intimate activities. If the cook would just stop being so stubborn…
“Oi, Marimo, you’re not even trying to break a sweat. Getting cocky?” The sound of a match being struck sounded somewhere close behind his head, followed shortly by a thin trail of cigarette smoke that wafted teasingly over his neck and ear. “Or just lazy?”
Zoro growled and twisted his head around to glare at the offending man. It was bad enough he had to torment his thoughts; he didn’t have to bug him in person, too.
“Get lost, cook! Take your shitty attitude somewhere else!”
“My shitty attitude, huh? Well, aren’t we in a mood today?” Sanji scoffed. “And to think I came out here to tell you the good news.”
“Luffy’s finally replacing you with a mute chef?”
“Funny. While he’s at it, he can find a swordsman who’ll actually be awake when we need him.”
Zoro was on his feet with his hand hovering by his swords in an instant.
“Bastard, you trying to start a fight?!”
Sanji frowned. “I’m trying to tell you that we’ll be reaching port tonight!”
Zoro rolled his eyes and relaxed again. “‘Che. Why is that good news? That just gives you an excuse to boss me around with shopping for shit.”
The hint of a smirk teased at Sanji’s mouth. “There’s that.” He paused, spared a couple of glances to either side, and lowered his voice. “But I was also considering renting a room at a separate inn.”
Zoro raised an eyebrow. “Separate? You too good to sleep in an inn with the rest of us now?”
“No, idiot!” Sanji hissed. “I mean, I’m renting a room for the two of us. To share. Together.” He closed his eyes and sighed, counting down from five. Five, four, three, two…
“Oh.” One. “Oh.”
Sanji almost found himself regretting his decision when the swordsman started to leer at him.
“Oi, don’t start acting like some perverted moron just because-”
“All the way.”
“What?”
Zoro’s grin was dark and feral. Sanji felt a bead of cold sweat drip down his brow.
“We’re going all the way, then. And I mean all the way.”
Sanji took a step back. “H-Hold down a minute, Marimo! I never said that-”
“All the way.” Zoro sneered at him, eyes blazing hungrily. “Or…is that too much for you to handle, cook?”
Sanji narrowed his eyes at the challenge.
“I can take anything you’ve got, shithead!”
“Tonight I’ll make you eat those words-and more,” Zoro laughed as Sanji’s face flushed red as his brazen words. After the flustered and possibly irritated cook left, Zoro found it surprisingly easy to return to training with renewed vigor and zeal, despite the somewhat dirty trail his thoughts were following. Oh, he was feeling much better now.
-
Mad Lucas Basingstoke was a man worth twelve million. Nami held the pirate’s wanted poster in her hand and regarded it thoughtfully. She knew plenty of pirates worth more, but she recalled that Basingstoke was simple to manipulate. And he’d had a great deal of gold; she hadn’t even been able to steal all of it when she left. She hadn’t thought of him in a while, but when she learned of what island they were approaching, she remembered that it was practically his home when he wasn’t sailing, and he was known to frequent it often. She grinned at the poster, cheeky and calculating. This would be a worthwhile trip, she was sure of it.
She’d just have to keep Luffy and the other idiots out of her way while she worked, she realized with a small frown. Her captain was so simple-minded and honest that he’d blow her cover instantly. She’d have to keep them busy. She could count on Sanji to fill up Zoro’s time (they were considerably more obvious than they probably wanted to be), and if she gave Luffy a chore to do, more likely than not Usopp and perhaps even Chopper would tag along.
She would work fast, too. She knew the just right way to feed Basingstoke’s ego, and besides, she hadn’t spent years robbing pirates for nothing. She sighed giddily as the thought of the treasure that would await her. What a grand life she led.
-
As soon as the anchor of the Going Merry was lowered, Luffy was practically jumping off into the town.
“WHOO-HOO! I’M GOING ON AN ADVENTURE-”
“Hold it!”
Luffy’s rubber body stretched forward and snapped back into place as Nami held tight onto his red vest. She scowled at him.
“No adventures! This is an inhabited island, not a jungle!” Her voice changed into a sweet tone. “Besides, I need you to run some errands for me.”
“Aww, but Nami-”
“NO BUTS!” She thrust a list into Luffy’s face. “Don’t lose this and don’t spend all the money on food, either! And you!” She turned and locked her narrowed eyes on Usopp, who cowered in fear. “You go with him and make sure he gets everything on this list. Keep him on track. Are we clear?”
“Y-Yes, Nami,” Usopp said, nodding vigorously.
“Good.” She turned to Luffy again, voice low and dangerous. “No adventures.” She released the rubber captain who pouted at the shopping list and started off sullenly with Usopp in tow. She gave Robin the money for an inn, and the older woman and Chopper headed into town to purchase rooms, where they opted to stay for the night, for reading and experimenting purposes-which suited Nami just fine. “Oh, Sanji-kun?”
“Yes, Nami-swan?” The cook was instantly at her side. She smiled at him sweetly.
“I have some very important business to attend to on this island, so can you make sure Zoro doesn’t wander around too much? If he got lost and I was somehow interrupted, I would be very upset.”
“You can count on me, Nami-swaaaan!” Sanji crooned, hearts in his eyes. Right on cue, he noticed Zoro approaching from where he’d dropped the anchor. He snapped at him, “Oi, Marimo! Grocery list.”
“Tch.” Zoro frowned. “I ain’t your grocery boy.”
“You are for now, if you know what’s good for you.” The chef’s challenging stare made his point very clear. If Zoro didn’t do this, he wouldn’t be doing the anything else in the inn tonight, either. Zoro growled and snatched the list from the other man. Sanji smirked after him and flashed Nami a triumphant grin before leaving the ship as well.
Nami smiled to herself, feeling very pleased and mischievous. She reached into her pocket and felt out the edges of the folded wanted poster. She could practically feel the gold in her eager hands already.
“Ready or not, Basingstoke, here I come.”
-
“Basingstoke?”
Captain Smoker regarded the wanted poster with his mouth set in an expression of disinterest around his cigars. Tashigi nodded.
“Yes, sir. We’ve received clarification that he is indeed on the island ahead.”
“Hn.” He parted his lips and let some smoke escape. “Any recent Straw Hat sightings?”
“No, sir.”
“Hmph, I see. Well, if Basingstoke’s the best they can give me, let’s arrest his ass.”
“Yes, sir!”
Fandom: One Piece
Pairing(s): Zoro x Sanji, slight Nami x Usopp
Rating: PG-13 as of now
Disclaimer: One Piece and its characters do not belong to me.
Warnings: Language and suggestiveness
A/N: This story has been in my head for soooo bloody long! I'm not taking it quite as seriously as my other stuff, so it shouldn't be too long between updates.
Part One
The sun was high in the sky and warm on the deck of the Going Merry. Everyone was in high spirits in reflection of the good weather. Everyone except Roronoa Zoro. Zoro had some tension due to a snogging session with a certain blonde chef the night before, which had heated up quick…and ended just as quickly. Zoro was not pleased, nor were a couple of choice parts of his body. So, he was sitting on the deck, moodily lifting a weight, and doing whatever the manliest form of pouting was.
He didn’t get why Sanji had to be so uptight about the whole thing. It wasn’t like anyone was awake at the time of night they generally chose for their…intimate activities. If the cook would just stop being so stubborn…
“Oi, Marimo, you’re not even trying to break a sweat. Getting cocky?” The sound of a match being struck sounded somewhere close behind his head, followed shortly by a thin trail of cigarette smoke that wafted teasingly over his neck and ear. “Or just lazy?”
Zoro growled and twisted his head around to glare at the offending man. It was bad enough he had to torment his thoughts; he didn’t have to bug him in person, too.
“Get lost, cook! Take your shitty attitude somewhere else!”
“My shitty attitude, huh? Well, aren’t we in a mood today?” Sanji scoffed. “And to think I came out here to tell you the good news.”
“Luffy’s finally replacing you with a mute chef?”
“Funny. While he’s at it, he can find a swordsman who’ll actually be awake when we need him.”
Zoro was on his feet with his hand hovering by his swords in an instant.
“Bastard, you trying to start a fight?!”
Sanji frowned. “I’m trying to tell you that we’ll be reaching port tonight!”
Zoro rolled his eyes and relaxed again. “‘Che. Why is that good news? That just gives you an excuse to boss me around with shopping for shit.”
The hint of a smirk teased at Sanji’s mouth. “There’s that.” He paused, spared a couple of glances to either side, and lowered his voice. “But I was also considering renting a room at a separate inn.”
Zoro raised an eyebrow. “Separate? You too good to sleep in an inn with the rest of us now?”
“No, idiot!” Sanji hissed. “I mean, I’m renting a room for the two of us. To share. Together.” He closed his eyes and sighed, counting down from five. Five, four, three, two…
“Oh.” One. “Oh.”
Sanji almost found himself regretting his decision when the swordsman started to leer at him.
“Oi, don’t start acting like some perverted moron just because-”
“All the way.”
“What?”
Zoro’s grin was dark and feral. Sanji felt a bead of cold sweat drip down his brow.
“We’re going all the way, then. And I mean all the way.”
Sanji took a step back. “H-Hold down a minute, Marimo! I never said that-”
“All the way.” Zoro sneered at him, eyes blazing hungrily. “Or…is that too much for you to handle, cook?”
Sanji narrowed his eyes at the challenge.
“I can take anything you’ve got, shithead!”
“Tonight I’ll make you eat those words-and more,” Zoro laughed as Sanji’s face flushed red as his brazen words. After the flustered and possibly irritated cook left, Zoro found it surprisingly easy to return to training with renewed vigor and zeal, despite the somewhat dirty trail his thoughts were following. Oh, he was feeling much better now.
-
Mad Lucas Basingstoke was a man worth twelve million. Nami held the pirate’s wanted poster in her hand and regarded it thoughtfully. She knew plenty of pirates worth more, but she recalled that Basingstoke was simple to manipulate. And he’d had a great deal of gold; she hadn’t even been able to steal all of it when she left. She hadn’t thought of him in a while, but when she learned of what island they were approaching, she remembered that it was practically his home when he wasn’t sailing, and he was known to frequent it often. She grinned at the poster, cheeky and calculating. This would be a worthwhile trip, she was sure of it.
She’d just have to keep Luffy and the other idiots out of her way while she worked, she realized with a small frown. Her captain was so simple-minded and honest that he’d blow her cover instantly. She’d have to keep them busy. She could count on Sanji to fill up Zoro’s time (they were considerably more obvious than they probably wanted to be), and if she gave Luffy a chore to do, more likely than not Usopp and perhaps even Chopper would tag along.
She would work fast, too. She knew the just right way to feed Basingstoke’s ego, and besides, she hadn’t spent years robbing pirates for nothing. She sighed giddily as the thought of the treasure that would await her. What a grand life she led.
-
As soon as the anchor of the Going Merry was lowered, Luffy was practically jumping off into the town.
“WHOO-HOO! I’M GOING ON AN ADVENTURE-”
“Hold it!”
Luffy’s rubber body stretched forward and snapped back into place as Nami held tight onto his red vest. She scowled at him.
“No adventures! This is an inhabited island, not a jungle!” Her voice changed into a sweet tone. “Besides, I need you to run some errands for me.”
“Aww, but Nami-”
“NO BUTS!” She thrust a list into Luffy’s face. “Don’t lose this and don’t spend all the money on food, either! And you!” She turned and locked her narrowed eyes on Usopp, who cowered in fear. “You go with him and make sure he gets everything on this list. Keep him on track. Are we clear?”
“Y-Yes, Nami,” Usopp said, nodding vigorously.
“Good.” She turned to Luffy again, voice low and dangerous. “No adventures.” She released the rubber captain who pouted at the shopping list and started off sullenly with Usopp in tow. She gave Robin the money for an inn, and the older woman and Chopper headed into town to purchase rooms, where they opted to stay for the night, for reading and experimenting purposes-which suited Nami just fine. “Oh, Sanji-kun?”
“Yes, Nami-swan?” The cook was instantly at her side. She smiled at him sweetly.
“I have some very important business to attend to on this island, so can you make sure Zoro doesn’t wander around too much? If he got lost and I was somehow interrupted, I would be very upset.”
“You can count on me, Nami-swaaaan!” Sanji crooned, hearts in his eyes. Right on cue, he noticed Zoro approaching from where he’d dropped the anchor. He snapped at him, “Oi, Marimo! Grocery list.”
“Tch.” Zoro frowned. “I ain’t your grocery boy.”
“You are for now, if you know what’s good for you.” The chef’s challenging stare made his point very clear. If Zoro didn’t do this, he wouldn’t be doing the anything else in the inn tonight, either. Zoro growled and snatched the list from the other man. Sanji smirked after him and flashed Nami a triumphant grin before leaving the ship as well.
Nami smiled to herself, feeling very pleased and mischievous. She reached into her pocket and felt out the edges of the folded wanted poster. She could practically feel the gold in her eager hands already.
“Ready or not, Basingstoke, here I come.”
-
“Basingstoke?”
Captain Smoker regarded the wanted poster with his mouth set in an expression of disinterest around his cigars. Tashigi nodded.
“Yes, sir. We’ve received clarification that he is indeed on the island ahead.”
“Hn.” He parted his lips and let some smoke escape. “Any recent Straw Hat sightings?”
“No, sir.”
“Hmph, I see. Well, if Basingstoke’s the best they can give me, let’s arrest his ass.”
“Yes, sir!”