Needs No Chill
I sit in the waiting room of Dr. Schuster. She is the latest in a series of psychiatrists who I've employed to fix the problem in my head. She specilizes in grief and alcoholism. This makes perfect sense. Two great tastes.
The Park Avenue brownstone could not be less like the office that preceeded it, the Halfway House of Horrors™ in Far Rockaway. The art on the walls is real. As I will never have an original Jean Cocteau lithograph, nor a Miro tapestry of my own to brag about, I will brag about hers now. Too much money has always made me uncomfortable and resentful. This isn't the kind of rich that Powerball could potentially bestow upon you. This is the kind of rich that you are born with. It's the difference between having colored contacts and having blue eyes. Genetic wealth.
From the chair in the foyer, the interior of this brownstone could be that of someone's home. No clues as to it's use as a place to diagnose and deal with the insured insane are visible. The issue of New York magazine on the top of the pile sagging into the rack is the current issue. The subscription label lists only David Schuster, apartment 1, etc., etc. My doctor is a woman, and has the same last name. My skin slithers around, trying to find a comfortable location to rest in. There is none.
I had imagined the tasteful domestic decor here was implemented to give the Prozac-seeking a sense of cozy familiarity. Familiarity breeds. But this really is the doctor's home. My stomach hurts. I regret coming here early enough to have had the luxury of time to figure this out. I would have preferred to not know this woman was living this comfortably in an Eastside brownstone, arguably worth more millions than I could count on both hands. It would be unsettling enough to me if she were merely renting this opulent office space. But no, she has purchased it. She must be very good. Or everyone in New York must be terribly insane. The most I can hope for is a mixture of the two.
It's made of wood and wire and my body is on fire and God is never far away.