Characters: Bernie Sanders, Jane Sanders, OMC
Rating: PG-13
In which Jane meets a mysterious stranger. Bernie texts his most...ardent supporter.
Jane hears Bernie muttering, "I shoulda stayed with Deborah. She wouldn't give me crap about superdelegates."
"SHUT UP ABOUT DEBORAH!"
"DEBORAH TREATED ME WITH RESPECT!"
"SHE ISN'T THE ONE WHO'LL END UP CHANGING YOUR DIAPERS, OLD MAN!"
"I'M NOT COMIN OUT OF THIS BATHROOM JANE!"
"I'M GOING DOWNSTAIRS TO THE BAR, BERNIE! ENJOY YOURSELF IN THE BATHROOM!"
"I WILL!"
The hotel room bangs shut. Bernie tells himself, "I'm not comin' out...shit...I left my Iphone somewhere..."
Bernie wanders around the hotel room, looking for his Iphone. Dammit, Jane could've found it if she hadn't gone downstairs to get loaded.
Jane sits in the hotel bar, nursing a bourbon and water. "Bernie thinks he's all that and a bag of organic rice chips," she thinks.
A tall dark handsome man approaches Jane. "Haven't I seen you on tv?"
Jane nods.
"On Desperate Housewives?"
"Oh, my!" Jane bats her eyelashes. It's been so long since she's felt a man's tender caress. Bernie's pats on the shoulder don't cut it any more. Besides, all he thinks about is Susan Sarandon. The man's eyes bore into hers. "You are a woman who has endured much loneliness."
"You noticed, huh?" Jane whispers. She feels a strange warmth through her body, and it's not from the bourbon.
"Are you staying here?" the man asks.
"Depends on which way you're voting, big boy," sje says, and is instantly amazed at her own daring.
"My name is Bob," the man says. Bob. A strong, masculine name. Not like Bernie. Bob has a nice bod. Bob. Bod. It's the bourbon, Jane!
Meanwhile, Bernie has located his Iphone. He lies back on the bed and proceeds to text Susan Sarandon:
HI ITS ME :) IM ALL ALONE. R U? IM THINKING ABT YOU.
WATCHING GOT Susan texts back.
Bernie grimaces. Too hard to keep track of what's up on that stupid show! I miss Seventh Heaven.
WHAT R U WEARING SU-SU
BRA & PANTIES BERNIE U NASTY MAN
OMG I LIKE THAT
TO BE CONTINUED