Fic: OMG OMG OMG: Part Two
Recipient: theymp
Author: cuddyclothes
Artist: angelus2hot
Title: OMG OMG OMg
Summary: Dean drags Sam to a Dr. Sexy convention
Characters: Dean, Sam, many OCs
Rating: PG for language
Wordcount: 1,800
Please GIVE A LOT OF LOVE TO angelus2hot for her phenomenal artwork!
Part One Here
This is for the spn_bigpretzel Spring Fic Gift Exchange!
Sam woke up fuzzy-headed, his ears still ringing. For hours he had been trapped by the bar in the back, listening to fans mangle pop tunes. Another one-armed “Robert” sang “One Arm Steve.” Several of the actors showed up and some of them could actually sing. The crowd never stopped screaming. It was like being trapped in the world’s worst Justin Beiber concert.
It was 3:30 AM. Dean’s bed had not been slept in. There was no sign of him.
“Dean! Dean?” Out of instinct, Sam pulled his gun out from under his pillow. He looked in the bathroom. Then he opened the door. The corridor was empty, piled-up room service trays outside the rooms like small piles of garbage. A hotel convention was an ideal place for a monster to strike. Maybe one of those women in hospital blankets were demons. He should have brought along his holy water.
“Dean!” Sam tucked his gun into the waistband of his sweat pants, and stealthily made his way toward the service stairs. He yanked them open.
“Dean,” he hissed.
There was no sound, except a tv from another room. Sam ran down the stairs, but none of the doors opened onto the next floor. Finally, a door opened. It was another floor devoted to business conventions. Small groups were sitting in armchairs around glass tables, or on the floor. Sam peered out. He was about to close the door when he saw Dean.
Sitting in the middle of a circle of women. Dean had one arm flung around the shoulders of a heavy woman wearing a bloody head bandage and hospital pajamas.
“So, handsome, when did you start watching Dr. Sexy?” the woman asked Dean.
“Seven years ago. My job has a lot of downtime. Then I got the DVDs-I had to wait until my tight-ass brother went on a trip to visit a guy who was kind of like our stepdad, and I binged-watched the first eight seasons in two days! It was the best two days of my life! What about you, sweetheart?”
“I was hooked from the pilot.” The woman giggled, to nods and smiles from the group. “How can any woman resist Dr. Sexy?”
"He's amazing," Dean agreed. "He makes me cry."
"I KNOW!" she said. "My God, when he looks at Ellen, and that face...watch out for exploded ovaries!"
"What?" Dean asked.
Another woman leaned forward. “If you want to know what I think, I think Joaquin and Ted have been in a love affair since the first season!”
“But they’re both married!” said a young one-armed girl in a tartan sweater.
The woman laughed. “You have a lot to learn, little missy.”
“Dean!” Sam called from the open door.
Dean looked up, eyes glassy from booze. “Hey, little brother, come join the party! It’s been nonstop Dr. Sexy here! I have found MY PEOPLE!”
Sam grimaced, slammed the door shut and headed up the stairs. Another day of this crap.
OMG OMG
A few hours later, Sam lifted his head from the pillow. Dean was already up and dressed. There was an empty donut box on the floor. "Rise and shine, Sammy, It’s time for the meet and greets!”
“Jesus, Dean, leave me here. I don’t care.”
“I don’t know why I brought you here. You’re trying to spoil all my fun!”
“We define fun differently. Go see your actors. I’m going back to sleep.”
It seemed like only five minutes had passed when Dean burst into the room like a tornado. “Sam! Get your lazy ass up! We’ll be late for the photo ops! Joaquin Armando’s the first one!”
“Dean, I don’t-“
“I get it, I do. You don’t want to stand next to somebody taller than you. Come on, I bought both of us ops! Move it!”
Sam was definitely going to kill Dean.
The lobby was even fuller than the day before. Today was Joaquin Armando’s solo panel, Dean explained, eyes alight. “I’m gonna ask him about that scene with Dr. Wang and the turtle!”
“How is he supposed to remember that? Haven’t they been on the air in...forever? It feels that way.”
“I can’t wait to hear him explain it. It’s gonna be a hoot!”
They got onto another huge line for the photo ops. Sam wanted to go home. He couldn’t take the shrill excitement, the sheer number of people, the noise. All for a show he knew nothing about. Except that it turned his brother into a spaz.
The actors stood on large rolls of gray paper. In a matter of seconds, a fan (usually female) came up, told the actor the pose they wanted, photo taken, boom! On to the next one. It was like lightning.
Joaquin Amarando really was something in person. He had star quality. His hair rippled, his eyes gleamed, he was a beautiful man. Thinking about a guy that way made Sam uncomfortable, but Dean’s expression was one of pure worship.
The actor hugged one fan after another after another, smiling as if they were his best friends. And he was taller than Sam. The only being Sam had seen taller than himself was a giant Golem.
“Dude, you’re trembling,” Sam whispered.
“Am not,” said Dean in an unnaturally high voice.
“Gonna ask for a hug?”
“Shut up.”
They were at the front of the line. Dean pushed Sam forward.
“Hi.” Amarando gave Sam a dazzling smile.
“Hi.” Sam didn’t know what to do. Amarando grabbed Sam around the shoulders and smiled at the camera.
“NEXT!”
“Dude, he touched you!”
“Shut up.”
Dean took his place, smiling shyly at his idol. “Hi,” said Amarando. “Do you have a pose?”
“Hi. This has been my dream. Could you hold my gun, point it at me and I make like I’m pissing my pants?” Dean pulled out his pearl-handled pistol. Amarando stared down at it.
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” The actor scrambled backwards, behind his enormous bodyguard.
There was a massive indrawn breath from the crowd, then screaming.
“SECURITY!”
Dean didn’t seem to understand what was happening. “My photo!”
“Dean!” Sam grabbed Dean and towed him through the crowd, body blocking past fans and security to the side stairs. They pounded up the stairs to their floor.
“Dammit, Sam, I didn’t get my photo!”
“Dean, we’re going to get arrested! Come on!”
“But my photo!”
“Screw your photo! You’ve got a Dr. Sexy duffle bag!” Sam threw their stuff into his bag, and zipped it up.
“I want my damn photo! Lemme make sure I got the recording of the meeting and greet-“
“DEAN WE DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THAT!”
The brothers ran out of the room to the back stairs. Sam heard the hotel security guards pounding on their door. They made it out the back way and to the car. Sam had to drive because Dean was too busy complaining and wanting to go back to the convention.
“Dean, are you insane?”
All the way home, Sam had to listen to Dean alternately bitch about his lost photo op and “squee,” as it was apparently called, about the show, the fans, and the karaoke.
Dean sighed happily, leaning back against the passenger seat. “Well, maybe I didn’t get my photo, but I know one thing. I’m Sexy.”
“Yeah, Dean, you’re Sexy.”