That Which Doesn't Kill You...Will Kill You
Show: Supernatural
Genre: crack
Word count: 574
Rating: PG for language
Summary: There are some things even scarier than clowns.
Written for sspn_bigpretzel Phobia Week"
Sam cowered by the motel room door, eyes wide. “I can’t go out there,” he said. “I hate the South. I hate Alabama.” His heart pounded. Why, oh why did they have to come here? He knew it would be a living hell. They were inescapable.
“Oh, come on!” Dean snapped. “We’ve got to get to Ohio, and you’re being a big baby.”
“I don’t care!!” Sam snapped. “Last night-that thing that flew at us-“ He shuddered. He was going to be sick. He wanted his mommy.
“They’re harmless, Sam.”
“That’s what you say. And now, there’s another one! Oh my God, where do they come from?”
“Where does anything come from?” Dean slapped his duffel down on the unmade bed.
“In our lives? Everywhere! But this is a whole new level of wrong and gross and-I can’t-I can’t-“ I gank monsters. I’m a hunter. Nothing scares me. It’s not even a clown. He was hyperventilating. Sam forced himself to draw deep, soothing breaths. It didn’t help.
“You’ve got to kill it before I go out there, Dean! It was looking right at me! They’re all-!”
“All right, you giant baby, I’ll kill it.”
Sam was so ashamed of Dean’s glare. Usually Sam was the one to comfort, cajole, nurse his brother out of his near-constant funks...
Dean swung open the door, causing Sam to jump.
“Wow, that thing is fugly. You coming out?”
“I’ll-I’ll wait until you give me the all clear.”
With a disgusted look, Dean went outside. Sam crept to the door. He could do this...he could do this...oh mother of God in heaven that fucking monster was still out there, staring right at him...he could do this.
Dean walked over to what had to be the biggest multicolored dragonfly mutant bug Sam had ever seen. It wasn’t even moving, its huge yellow bug eyes fixed on Sam. Still in the empty parking space in front of their motel door. What if it flew right at him before Dean killed it?
With a glance at his brother, Dean stomped on the mutant insect several times, mushing it into the asphalt. Sam almost slammed the door shut. But that would make his brother pick up the Mutant Bug From God Knows Where and bring it into the motel room. If he was feeling sadistic, wipe his boot on Sam’s leg.
“Clean it off your boots! Please! If I see any of it in the car, I’ll jump out, I swear.”
“It’s dead, okay? I ganked it!” Dean made a show of wiping his boot in the nearby grass.
“Oh, God, thank you.” Sam sagged against the doorsill, unable to take his eyes off the squashed bug.
“Want me to carry your stuff to the car?”
“NO-I mean, I’ll get it myself.”
Sam knew that if Dean carried his duffel, he’d deliberately drop it on the mutant bug’s mashed carcass.
As Sam walked out the door, a huge cicada killer flew right over his head, causing him to scream and drop his bag.
On the dead mutant bug.
Just kill me now, Sam thought.
“Uh, Dean, could you please...?”
“Oh, Sammy, you are pathetic.” Dean pulled a stolen motel towel from his bag and bent down to clean off Sam’s duffel.
Sam forced himself not to blurt, make sure all of it’s off!
He just wouldn’t let his duffel touch anything for...forever.
Genre: crack
Word count: 574
Rating: PG for language
Summary: There are some things even scarier than clowns.
Written for sspn_bigpretzel Phobia Week"
Sam cowered by the motel room door, eyes wide. “I can’t go out there,” he said. “I hate the South. I hate Alabama.” His heart pounded. Why, oh why did they have to come here? He knew it would be a living hell. They were inescapable.
“Oh, come on!” Dean snapped. “We’ve got to get to Ohio, and you’re being a big baby.”
“I don’t care!!” Sam snapped. “Last night-that thing that flew at us-“ He shuddered. He was going to be sick. He wanted his mommy.
“They’re harmless, Sam.”
“That’s what you say. And now, there’s another one! Oh my God, where do they come from?”
“Where does anything come from?” Dean slapped his duffel down on the unmade bed.
“In our lives? Everywhere! But this is a whole new level of wrong and gross and-I can’t-I can’t-“ I gank monsters. I’m a hunter. Nothing scares me. It’s not even a clown. He was hyperventilating. Sam forced himself to draw deep, soothing breaths. It didn’t help.
“You’ve got to kill it before I go out there, Dean! It was looking right at me! They’re all-!”
“All right, you giant baby, I’ll kill it.”
Sam was so ashamed of Dean’s glare. Usually Sam was the one to comfort, cajole, nurse his brother out of his near-constant funks...
Dean swung open the door, causing Sam to jump.
“Wow, that thing is fugly. You coming out?”
“I’ll-I’ll wait until you give me the all clear.”
With a disgusted look, Dean went outside. Sam crept to the door. He could do this...he could do this...oh mother of God in heaven that fucking monster was still out there, staring right at him...he could do this.
Dean walked over to what had to be the biggest multicolored dragonfly mutant bug Sam had ever seen. It wasn’t even moving, its huge yellow bug eyes fixed on Sam. Still in the empty parking space in front of their motel door. What if it flew right at him before Dean killed it?
With a glance at his brother, Dean stomped on the mutant insect several times, mushing it into the asphalt. Sam almost slammed the door shut. But that would make his brother pick up the Mutant Bug From God Knows Where and bring it into the motel room. If he was feeling sadistic, wipe his boot on Sam’s leg.
“Clean it off your boots! Please! If I see any of it in the car, I’ll jump out, I swear.”
“It’s dead, okay? I ganked it!” Dean made a show of wiping his boot in the nearby grass.
“Oh, God, thank you.” Sam sagged against the doorsill, unable to take his eyes off the squashed bug.
“Want me to carry your stuff to the car?”
“NO-I mean, I’ll get it myself.”
Sam knew that if Dean carried his duffel, he’d deliberately drop it on the mutant bug’s mashed carcass.
As Sam walked out the door, a huge cicada killer flew right over his head, causing him to scream and drop his bag.
On the dead mutant bug.
Just kill me now, Sam thought.
“Uh, Dean, could you please...?”
“Oh, Sammy, you are pathetic.” Dean pulled a stolen motel towel from his bag and bent down to clean off Sam’s duffel.
Sam forced himself not to blurt, make sure all of it’s off!
He just wouldn’t let his duffel touch anything for...forever.