Jack Bauer Background
For those who are unfamiliar with him, a quick primer on the life and times of Jack Bauer.
This wise and scholarly article tells of both Jack and the man who plays him, both of whom are awesome. Key quote:
"Jack is ex-SWAT, ex-Delta Force and ex-CIA. They haven't mentioned it yet, but he's probably also ex-KGB, SAS, Spetznatz, GSG, French Foreign Legion and Roman Praetorian Guardsman as well. Basically he's served in every single special forces outfit ever assembled and in his years of training and asskicking he's become the ultimate killing machine, learning to outsmart his opponents MacGuyver-style and cap bitches like Dennis Hopper in the face without even thinking twice about it. On top of his vast experience in the killing people industry, he also vacillates between being an emotionless automaton and a borderline psychotic. Bauer can watch some horrible shit happening without batting an eye, and he's also the kind of guy where if you crack your knuckles too loudly and he hears it and gets irritated by it then he breaks your neck, cuts your hands off and beats your family to death with them. And with Jack the ends always justify the means, so if it means saving the entire Los Angeles Metro Area from being simultaneously blown up, nuked, poisoned irradiated and infected with Smallpox by a conglomerate of seventeen different terrorist organizations under the control of the Chinese, Russian and American governments, Jack's more than willing to beat a couple dozen people to death with his bare hands, armwrestle a bear, kick the Secretary of Defense in the ballsack and slap the First Lady in the face while biting the ear off a rodeo clown."
These are some brief essential facts on Jack Bauer and... his... career...
Jack Bauer Fact #36: "Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man."
...Well, fuck, that doesn't bode too well for me. Ah, well, I've had a good run.
Anyway, there's also this video, which succeeds in encapsulating the high points of Jack's counter-terrorism career into ten minutes while providing fitting music, and this one, which conclusively demonstrates that Jack Bauer will interrogate absolutely anybody.
This should also probably be on here.
This wise and scholarly article tells of both Jack and the man who plays him, both of whom are awesome. Key quote:
"Jack is ex-SWAT, ex-Delta Force and ex-CIA. They haven't mentioned it yet, but he's probably also ex-KGB, SAS, Spetznatz, GSG, French Foreign Legion and Roman Praetorian Guardsman as well. Basically he's served in every single special forces outfit ever assembled and in his years of training and asskicking he's become the ultimate killing machine, learning to outsmart his opponents MacGuyver-style and cap bitches like Dennis Hopper in the face without even thinking twice about it. On top of his vast experience in the killing people industry, he also vacillates between being an emotionless automaton and a borderline psychotic. Bauer can watch some horrible shit happening without batting an eye, and he's also the kind of guy where if you crack your knuckles too loudly and he hears it and gets irritated by it then he breaks your neck, cuts your hands off and beats your family to death with them. And with Jack the ends always justify the means, so if it means saving the entire Los Angeles Metro Area from being simultaneously blown up, nuked, poisoned irradiated and infected with Smallpox by a conglomerate of seventeen different terrorist organizations under the control of the Chinese, Russian and American governments, Jack's more than willing to beat a couple dozen people to death with his bare hands, armwrestle a bear, kick the Secretary of Defense in the ballsack and slap the First Lady in the face while biting the ear off a rodeo clown."
These are some brief essential facts on Jack Bauer and... his... career...
Jack Bauer Fact #36: "Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man."
...Well, fuck, that doesn't bode too well for me. Ah, well, I've had a good run.
Anyway, there's also this video, which succeeds in encapsulating the high points of Jack's counter-terrorism career into ten minutes while providing fitting music, and this one, which conclusively demonstrates that Jack Bauer will interrogate absolutely anybody.
This should also probably be on here.