Me and Emily's adventure to Ozzfest 2006.
So...what an interesting day it has been.
Emily and I had planned on going to Ozzfest at Alpine Valley. Yes. Emily Widen at Ozzfest. Believe it.
I picked up Emily in the morning and we prepared ourselves for the journey ahead of us. Thinking ahead, I suggested that Emily change her bra (so I let her borrow one of mine) and I also suggested that we stop off at Victorias Secret to quick buy a pair of non-black, yet still awesome, panties. (This will make much more sense later.) We picked up some food at the mall and headed out to Alpine.
Less than an hour later we arrived at our destination, more excited than we could ever imagine. Immediately we are surrounded by drunken people, black clothing, metal heads, posers, and tits in the parking lot. Welcome to a large venue metal show. We walk towards the gates looking fucking awesome in our black shirts and sunglasses, and not even half way to the gates we are stopped in our tracks by a few guys shouting "NICE SET!" We quickly turn around laughing, then Emily yells back, "Who's? Hers or mine?" And they responded with, "BOTH OF YOU!!" So we keep walking past, laughing at the drunken men, and head to the gates. We had to turn back to the car though when Emily was informed that she could not have her camera. So we walk back to the car thinking of any place we could smuggle the camera on ourselves to get it in. To no luck, we get back to the car and leave it there. As we walked back we ran into the same guys who earlier made it aware that we had nice 'sets', if you will, only this time they stopped and talked with us. We each recieved one strand of green mardi gras beads for having 'such nice tits' and then he proposed that we make an effort to recieve more of his mardi gras beads by actually revealing our wonderful tits....yeah. Didn't happen. We figured one strand was good enough for now.
So we finally make our way into the show and start walking around checking the place out. They had an interesting game set up called, "KICK ME IN THE FUCKING HEAD BITCH!" It was pretty much like those soccer or football games you see at sporting events and whatnot where they have a target and you try to hit it with the ball...only this time there was a guy sitting in a chair waiting to get smashed in the face by a soccer ball. Fucking amazing game if you ask me. Drew quite a crowd as well. I would highly recommend it to a friend.
We continued walking, observing all the amazing, yet odd things (and people) that Ozzfest had to offer.
Really our only reason for coming to Ozzfest was to see DragonForce...which for all of you that don't know is an amazing European metal band that will rock your face to death. We had heard that DragonForce was going to be signing autographs at the FYE tent in the afternoon, so we quickly ran to the tent to see if we could meet them. To our dismay we found out that the only way you could get in for the signing was if you bought their new cd for $20 and got a wristband. Fuck. That. We weren't about to spend 20 buck on a cd we already have. So, discouraged, we left and wandered around the venue, constantly getting offers for more mardi gras beads.
We decided to go back to the tent so we could at least see DragonForce. We got there. Saw them. Spazed out like none other...and then realized we could get closer. We walked around so we were standing right in front of the table that they were signing at...with only 5 feet and a railing separating us from our DragonForce. We waited patiently and optomistically thinking maybe, just maybe, they would talk to us afterwards. To our luck, they got done signing and one of the guys (with whom we had been eyefucking the entire time) asked if we wanted to come back inside the tent for a picture. Did he have to ask? Emily and I ran back there as fast as we could and found ourselves standing with the guys from DragonForce. As I stood there catching my breath from all the excitement I hear Emily ask "WILL YOU SIGN OUR PANTIES?!?" Words do not do justice for the look on their faces when we asked. It was hilarious...they were making jokes about it, but clearly were excited to do it. So Emily and I dropped our pants, reavealing our matching panties, and got them singed by DragonForce. One of the guys was about to sign mine, so he grabbed my ass and vigorously pulled my pants down further so he could 'sign it better' and finished it up with a nice firm slap. After they were done with that, we got pictures with the lead singer. Then, despite the fact that we barely remember this, they asked if we wanted our bras signed as well. I don't think we actually answered 'yes', instead we just pulled our shirts down and waited for the signing to begin...again. Funny thing is, Emily was wearing my bra at the time. We brought this up with them, and they found it quite interesting. This started an amazing conversation about ZP, the lead singer, ripping off our panties and other such sexual things. They were not crossing any lines or being assholes or pervs or anything...they were just having a lot of fun, as were we.
We had been hanging out with them for a while now and the guy in charge was saying that they had to get going so they started to leave and walked out with us. All we did was leave the tent area and then stand outside to continue talking. At one point ZP pulled out a pack of marb lights, pointed them in our direction with two of them conveniently sticking out further than the others, and offered us a smoke. Holy shit. I got to smoke with DragonForce. After our smoke together, they had to leave...but before they all left ZP asked if we were going to be in the front row during the show. We explained to him that we had grass seats, but we'd try to get up front. He said he wanted to see us up front and not search for us in the crowd, and we promised him he would see us. ZP handed me the silver sharpie he used to sign our bras, made some more hilarious sexual references to it, and then they said bye and left Emily and I standing there, with sharpie in hand, siezing from joy. I still can't believe that happened. To think...if we had spent that 20 bucks, we would have gotten a cd we already had, met them for like two minutes, got their signatures, and left like everyone else. But no. We waited and worked our magic and in return not only did we hang out with them for a half hour, we got our undergarments signed, our asses slaped, had sexual conversations, had a smoke, got a sharpie, and became friends with DragonForce. While at this point we could've died happy...our evening was not yet finished.
We had two hours left before DragonForce played, in which we just sat around trying to figure out what the fuck just happened. While sitting, our bliss was inturupted by a woman walking by wearing paint. Nothing else really. Just paint. Yeah, um...what the fuck? We actually saw this quite frequently throughout the day. Creepy I know...especially because they weren't even younger girls with nice bodies. Sick.
So anyway...the time had finally come. We went out in the grass and found a decent spot to sit. Ten minutes before the show started it began to fucking pour. This rain was so cold it hurt. This was not something to discourage Emily and I though....if you had seen us at Summerfest you would know that it takes more than a little rain to stop us. By some miracle it was 5 o'clock, DragonForce started playing and the rain stopped. During one of the guitar solos we saw ZP walk over to our side of the stage and start looking around. He actually spotted us in the crowd and threw up his arms as if to say "What the fuck??" We threw up the horns in response and screamed back, and he did the same. We promised he would see us and he did.
We really didn't find it necessary to stay for any other bands, so after DragonForce's set we left. And it was fantastic.
I seriously don't think we will shut up about this for the next 9 years.
Fucking badass.