Battle Log 12/29/15
Meaurements as of 10:08PM.
Today has been an absolutely terrible day. Not so much physically but, emotionally and mentally I am basically broken down to survival mode. It could be a combination of added stress from the holidays, a couple of rough days with my son, and other factors. Basically, I have run out of coping mechanisms and am just walking away from any conflicts with people in my immediate relationship circle.
This is just one of those days where you feel that everyone is against you, especially the people who should be loving you the most and offering encouragement. It isn’t that the behavior has been exemplified in their actions today or anything, just a compounded strain that has occurred over time.
Many times people say that we should run to God in these cases but, I honestly don’t feel like God cares. I know that intellectually speaking God is the embodiment of love itself and that He always loves and always cares but, that doesn’t change the feeling that He doesn’t and that I am basically floating off alone in the vast darkness of deep space.
Note: I’m not writing this for attention or pity, just to get it out of my head and into words.
Maybe a good night sleep will help, as I slept 6 hours at best last night.
Goals Met:
- Water: 74oz
- Daily Bible Readings
Don’t remember them though.
- Sleep: 6 hours
This is also a high estimate. I kept waking up for a variety of issues last night - Steps: 7,478/3 miles
Although, I think this may be a bit low because I had dance for 1.5 hours.
Tomorrow will be a better day and I am planning on breaking out the kettle bells for the first time. A seed must be broken before new life can spring forth from it. Hopefully this is the case with me as well.