Week 1 Entry - Diamonds
“pat,pat,pat” the steady beat of my feet hitting the tar.
This is my favourite part of every day. Come rain, hail, snow or sunshine, I love the feeling of the air rushing in and out of my lungs.
The rush of blood pulsing through my body and making me feel alive all over.
Reminding me, that in fact I am still very much alive.
Cademe is a small mining town, specializing in diamonds extraction.
We moved here when Caleb got his dream job at the mine and I took the position of the local doctor as the old doctor has retired.
Oh Caleb, how I wish you were still here. I feel the familiar stab of heartache. Like a gigantic burning hole that is unfillable.
Everything was perfect when we moved here; Caleb was promoted shortly after that to an even more prestigious position. It seemed that our world could not possibly get any better.
A few months passed and Caleb was putting in longer hours and becoming more and more distant. He was moody and stressed, not like how I knew him. I tried several times to get him to talk to me about what was going on and he brushed me off, kindly saying “Don’t worry babe, nothing that I cannot handle”.
“Oh well”, I thought, he will talk to me in time. My mother always said, leave them a bit on their own to sort it out themselves and when they are ready they will come and talk to you. Just make sure that you are always there and willing to listen.
I shake my head.
“Stupid me.”, I mutter out loud to myself.
Time was the one thing Caleb and I did not have.
I feel the panic surround me and build up from my legs as my mind goes back to that day. The sun was shining and the sky was a beautiful clear blue and the air still but not humid.
“Stacey, hold on I am going to answer the door quickly”, Stacey is my best friend, very lucky to have met her in this small town. She and I have been close since day one when Caleb and I arrived in Cademe.
I peer through the peephole and see Ian the mine manager at the door with another colleague from the mine that I have seen before but do not know his name.
Opening the door I greet Ian.
“Selena, I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news but there was an accident at the mine today”.
God, no, please not Caleb, not him.
“Caleb fell down a deserted mine shaft”, Ian shuffles on his feet.
“Is he hurt? Where is he?” I am starting to grab my car keys to leave.
Ian is not looking at me; he is looking at the floor and keeps shuffling his feet, irritating me as I want to be with Caleb.
“There was toxic waste at the end of the shaft and Caleb is dead.”
My heart stops, my mouth drops open, everything is quiet and there is only white noise. I do not hear the rest of Ian’s words or the; I am really sorry speech that people so often give. I just feel my soul’s fire dying out, leaving me in pain, sharp stabbing pain.
“Selena, can I call anyone for you?” The man who is with Ian says.
I shake my head and gesture inside that someone is with me.
Stacey comes around the corner at the moment right on cue to send them on their way and to pick me up as I fall apart from the inside out.
My mind is screaming, how can this happen. How can Caleb leave me? How?
I start gasping for air I cannot seem to breathe; Stacey is standing by looking worried. My eyes are shining with the tears that are about to come and I look at her and fall to the floor, crying. My body is racked with sobs; Stacey joins me on the floor and holds me while I fall to pieces.
A dog barking in the distance wrenches me back to reality. I am on my knees on the sidewalk, the memory is as fresh and raw as the day it happened.
It has been six months but healing takes time, as they say time heals all wounds. How much time, no one knows and no one can answer that question for me.
Pushing myself off my knees, I hear a scuffle in the clearing to the right of me.
“You! You! You’re dead!” Stuttering the man says; “What do you want with me?”
I cannot see who the voice is but I recognize it. I sense he is terrified.
“You lied to me you sick bastard; you do not deserve to see another sunrise.” The other man’s voice replies and it is deep and rasping, and a serious threat of danger underlying his words.
I shiver involuntarily.
Run! My mind keeps shouting at me. Run as far and as fast as you can.
However my body moves forward slowly and treads carefully so as not to make a noise. I peer through the shrub and see the men in the clearing.
I recognize the first voice; it is Ian the mine manager. He is lying on the floor on his side in a loose fetal position. His face is waxy and pale, His brow covered in a thin sheen of perspiration.
He is really terrified.
The second voice has his back towards me and I do not recognize him. However my body senses that I have seen him before.
Facing Ian, he bends down swiftly and grips him by the front of his shirt and rips him to his feet like a mere rag doll. Hard and fast movements, he is angry and means business.
He wants to hurt him and badly.
I have always had a sense or talent for reading people’s body language, Caleb always used to joke that I was psychic. It was more that I could feel what their intention was.
“Snap”, the twig breaks underneath my foot.
The man turns around so fast, barely even a movement. All in one fluid lightning quick move.
When he sees me he drops Ian, like his hand had been burnt.
“Selena”, his eyes become liquid emerald and he says my name softly again from his lips.
He looks familiar but I cannot place him.
I can sense that he does not want to hurt me, but also another strange emotion. Longing?
I stare again and stare into the eyes and I remember who he is.
“Oh, Caleb! Is it you? Really you?” I stammer in disbelief, this is something that I have dreamed would come true so many times, that my nightmare would be over. I shake my head to make sure this is not a dream; it would be too cruel if it was as it is so real.
He is still standing there, his eyes boring into me.
His is different, his hair has grown, his face is covered with a beard and his skin is not as tanned as it used to be.
Ian, tries to get up to make a run for it, however Caleb spots him and grabs him again.
He turns to me, a pained look in his eyes, and says; “Selena, I cannot explain now but I will, I swear to you, soon.”
My eyes are burning.
Please do not go I think, please do not leave me, it hurts so much.
I nod my head and swallow.
Caleb, crouches ,still holding Ian and jumps into the trees above in one fluid movement.
My jaw drops
Surely that is not right, what happened to him? Something unspeakable.
I shake my head again to see if I am dreaming and hear out of the tree, “I will see you tonight, Selena and will explain.”
On cue the emptiness is filled temporarily until he returns to me.
This is my favourite part of every day. Come rain, hail, snow or sunshine, I love the feeling of the air rushing in and out of my lungs.
The rush of blood pulsing through my body and making me feel alive all over.
Reminding me, that in fact I am still very much alive.
Cademe is a small mining town, specializing in diamonds extraction.
We moved here when Caleb got his dream job at the mine and I took the position of the local doctor as the old doctor has retired.
Oh Caleb, how I wish you were still here. I feel the familiar stab of heartache. Like a gigantic burning hole that is unfillable.
Everything was perfect when we moved here; Caleb was promoted shortly after that to an even more prestigious position. It seemed that our world could not possibly get any better.
A few months passed and Caleb was putting in longer hours and becoming more and more distant. He was moody and stressed, not like how I knew him. I tried several times to get him to talk to me about what was going on and he brushed me off, kindly saying “Don’t worry babe, nothing that I cannot handle”.
“Oh well”, I thought, he will talk to me in time. My mother always said, leave them a bit on their own to sort it out themselves and when they are ready they will come and talk to you. Just make sure that you are always there and willing to listen.
I shake my head.
“Stupid me.”, I mutter out loud to myself.
Time was the one thing Caleb and I did not have.
I feel the panic surround me and build up from my legs as my mind goes back to that day. The sun was shining and the sky was a beautiful clear blue and the air still but not humid.
“Stacey, hold on I am going to answer the door quickly”, Stacey is my best friend, very lucky to have met her in this small town. She and I have been close since day one when Caleb and I arrived in Cademe.
I peer through the peephole and see Ian the mine manager at the door with another colleague from the mine that I have seen before but do not know his name.
Opening the door I greet Ian.
“Selena, I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news but there was an accident at the mine today”.
God, no, please not Caleb, not him.
“Caleb fell down a deserted mine shaft”, Ian shuffles on his feet.
“Is he hurt? Where is he?” I am starting to grab my car keys to leave.
Ian is not looking at me; he is looking at the floor and keeps shuffling his feet, irritating me as I want to be with Caleb.
“There was toxic waste at the end of the shaft and Caleb is dead.”
My heart stops, my mouth drops open, everything is quiet and there is only white noise. I do not hear the rest of Ian’s words or the; I am really sorry speech that people so often give. I just feel my soul’s fire dying out, leaving me in pain, sharp stabbing pain.
“Selena, can I call anyone for you?” The man who is with Ian says.
I shake my head and gesture inside that someone is with me.
Stacey comes around the corner at the moment right on cue to send them on their way and to pick me up as I fall apart from the inside out.
My mind is screaming, how can this happen. How can Caleb leave me? How?
I start gasping for air I cannot seem to breathe; Stacey is standing by looking worried. My eyes are shining with the tears that are about to come and I look at her and fall to the floor, crying. My body is racked with sobs; Stacey joins me on the floor and holds me while I fall to pieces.
A dog barking in the distance wrenches me back to reality. I am on my knees on the sidewalk, the memory is as fresh and raw as the day it happened.
It has been six months but healing takes time, as they say time heals all wounds. How much time, no one knows and no one can answer that question for me.
Pushing myself off my knees, I hear a scuffle in the clearing to the right of me.
“You! You! You’re dead!” Stuttering the man says; “What do you want with me?”
I cannot see who the voice is but I recognize it. I sense he is terrified.
“You lied to me you sick bastard; you do not deserve to see another sunrise.” The other man’s voice replies and it is deep and rasping, and a serious threat of danger underlying his words.
I shiver involuntarily.
Run! My mind keeps shouting at me. Run as far and as fast as you can.
However my body moves forward slowly and treads carefully so as not to make a noise. I peer through the shrub and see the men in the clearing.
I recognize the first voice; it is Ian the mine manager. He is lying on the floor on his side in a loose fetal position. His face is waxy and pale, His brow covered in a thin sheen of perspiration.
He is really terrified.
The second voice has his back towards me and I do not recognize him. However my body senses that I have seen him before.
Facing Ian, he bends down swiftly and grips him by the front of his shirt and rips him to his feet like a mere rag doll. Hard and fast movements, he is angry and means business.
He wants to hurt him and badly.
I have always had a sense or talent for reading people’s body language, Caleb always used to joke that I was psychic. It was more that I could feel what their intention was.
“Snap”, the twig breaks underneath my foot.
The man turns around so fast, barely even a movement. All in one fluid lightning quick move.
When he sees me he drops Ian, like his hand had been burnt.
“Selena”, his eyes become liquid emerald and he says my name softly again from his lips.
He looks familiar but I cannot place him.
I can sense that he does not want to hurt me, but also another strange emotion. Longing?
I stare again and stare into the eyes and I remember who he is.
“Oh, Caleb! Is it you? Really you?” I stammer in disbelief, this is something that I have dreamed would come true so many times, that my nightmare would be over. I shake my head to make sure this is not a dream; it would be too cruel if it was as it is so real.
He is still standing there, his eyes boring into me.
His is different, his hair has grown, his face is covered with a beard and his skin is not as tanned as it used to be.
Ian, tries to get up to make a run for it, however Caleb spots him and grabs him again.
He turns to me, a pained look in his eyes, and says; “Selena, I cannot explain now but I will, I swear to you, soon.”
My eyes are burning.
Please do not go I think, please do not leave me, it hurts so much.
I nod my head and swallow.
Caleb, crouches ,still holding Ian and jumps into the trees above in one fluid movement.
My jaw drops
Surely that is not right, what happened to him? Something unspeakable.
I shake my head again to see if I am dreaming and hear out of the tree, “I will see you tonight, Selena and will explain.”
On cue the emptiness is filled temporarily until he returns to me.