Was that your idea?
Here I am again. Good ol' Aderhold. Class is over and I am waiting for Zach's class to get out so that the two of us can go get lunch. Very exciting indeed. My class is beginning to get a little more difficult, and I must admit I am feeling a bit nervous with the test fast approaching. This week shall be full of studying. Luckily the test is take home, so at least the stress to finish it within a certain time limit is significantly decreased.
Life continues to go well. I've seen Jeff a few more times. He seems to have a lot of potential. Besides being a really cool guy, he opens doors and tells me I look nice, and all the stuff a good guy should do. Michelle and I are taking Stephen and Jeff out tomorrow. Looks like we're going to bring over chinese and then take them to improv night at the whole world theatre. But shh, they don't know that! Anybody ever been? Know if its any good?
I think all the time. My brain never stops and I feel as if the past month or so I have been experiencing a heightened awareness of the world. Everything around me feels so manufactured and wrong. Even the idea of having a job, of sustaining life based on your ability to perform a certain task, has really started to bother me. Im having a hard time grasping the idea of life and of being human. What is it like to be other then human? Maybe they don't have thoughts in the sense that we do, because they lack a language, but what goes on in the minds of other animals? And then, what is death? It seems so scary, and I think "how awful to not be able to think anymore," but I guess you don't know you aren't alive, so maybe it isn't so bad. If there really is no life after death, its not as if I would ever know the difference - I guess? My mom always tells me she doesn't fear death because as people grow old they seem to become okay with it, which to her must mean its not something to be scared of. Perhaps it comes from feeling fulfilled. Knowing that whatever happens next you lived your life here on earth to satisfaction. I wonder if I will ever achieve that feeling.
Is anyone doing anything cool for July 4th? I just found out I am off that night and I don't know that my family is doing anything in particular.
Enough is enough.
Life continues to go well. I've seen Jeff a few more times. He seems to have a lot of potential. Besides being a really cool guy, he opens doors and tells me I look nice, and all the stuff a good guy should do. Michelle and I are taking Stephen and Jeff out tomorrow. Looks like we're going to bring over chinese and then take them to improv night at the whole world theatre. But shh, they don't know that! Anybody ever been? Know if its any good?
I think all the time. My brain never stops and I feel as if the past month or so I have been experiencing a heightened awareness of the world. Everything around me feels so manufactured and wrong. Even the idea of having a job, of sustaining life based on your ability to perform a certain task, has really started to bother me. Im having a hard time grasping the idea of life and of being human. What is it like to be other then human? Maybe they don't have thoughts in the sense that we do, because they lack a language, but what goes on in the minds of other animals? And then, what is death? It seems so scary, and I think "how awful to not be able to think anymore," but I guess you don't know you aren't alive, so maybe it isn't so bad. If there really is no life after death, its not as if I would ever know the difference - I guess? My mom always tells me she doesn't fear death because as people grow old they seem to become okay with it, which to her must mean its not something to be scared of. Perhaps it comes from feeling fulfilled. Knowing that whatever happens next you lived your life here on earth to satisfaction. I wonder if I will ever achieve that feeling.
Is anyone doing anything cool for July 4th? I just found out I am off that night and I don't know that my family is doing anything in particular.
Enough is enough.