whats my age again, whats my age again?
sigh. where to begin. at the beginning of junior year of college, still as lost and confused as i was 4 years ago. still struggling to understand who i am and what exactly it is that i want. what i want to be when i grow up, everything about who i am.
footloose just ended. a bunch of my theater friends are leaving me. work week starts in like 6 hours for my sorority, and i have to make a whole new group of friends. i don't know if i can do it. i don't know what to wear or what to do or what to say or anything like that. what if no one likes me? what if i get stuck in the shitty position (you talk to the fewest girls) because everyone thinks i'm a crazy weirdo? i'm so lost. i'm so afraid.
i wish i was the same age as everyone else and wasn't living with my boyfriend sometimes. that i could go out and flirt and not feel weird because i want to marry the guy i'm with, so why the fuck would i flirt with some fucker i don't know? i wish i was living in my house this year, because then at least i would get to know all the girls.
and i just wonder constantly should i even be doing this? should i just accept that i'm a theater person through and through and don't have time for other friends? that i'm not a sorority girl and will never be? ugh. i hate this. i hate that there are so many sides to me.
i hate that everyone always leaves and i'm still fucking here.
footloose just ended. a bunch of my theater friends are leaving me. work week starts in like 6 hours for my sorority, and i have to make a whole new group of friends. i don't know if i can do it. i don't know what to wear or what to do or what to say or anything like that. what if no one likes me? what if i get stuck in the shitty position (you talk to the fewest girls) because everyone thinks i'm a crazy weirdo? i'm so lost. i'm so afraid.
i wish i was the same age as everyone else and wasn't living with my boyfriend sometimes. that i could go out and flirt and not feel weird because i want to marry the guy i'm with, so why the fuck would i flirt with some fucker i don't know? i wish i was living in my house this year, because then at least i would get to know all the girls.
and i just wonder constantly should i even be doing this? should i just accept that i'm a theater person through and through and don't have time for other friends? that i'm not a sorority girl and will never be? ugh. i hate this. i hate that there are so many sides to me.
i hate that everyone always leaves and i'm still fucking here.