Day 11 / American Dream
So things are generally going well. Work is boring as hell lately but at least it's stable and considering the state of things, I'm grateful I can at least get paid for wasting time. As far as I can tell, things with Elena are going great, I asked if I could see her and she said yes. But she's going through a hard time and I want to be supportive above anything else. It's strange but I genuinely care about her, I hope this feeling only gets stronger as I get to know her better and as I finally get to start seeing her. Maybe she'll let her shield wall down some and I'll be able to see more clearly.
What's mainly concerning me at the moment is my mother. Apparently she set the kitchen on fire again (my grandmother did this a few years back). By accident, or distraction of course. My grandmother has been crying since, saying how poor and helpless my mother is, how she's alone over there. But it's not true, she has someone over there, a boyfriend if you will. But if it's true that she feels alone, like she can't depend on this guy, why won't she leave him? The obvious answer is that she doesn't work and would have no way to support the house. So why won't she sell the house and come to Spain to live with her family? She says she wants to maintain the house for me, even though I've told her I don't have any plans to live there anymore. As far as I'm concerned that house burned down 10 years ago. It's like she comes up with all these excuses, but I think when it comes down to it she just doesn't want to give up on this 'american dream'. Though over there she's vulnerable and 'alone', she won't give up on this broken home to come back to her family. Yet she won't go through with the full consequences of the American dream either, she won't work to maintain what she has, relying on others instead. I fear for my mother, in my mind she is holding on to the tail of an airplane in a downward spiral.
What's mainly concerning me at the moment is my mother. Apparently she set the kitchen on fire again (my grandmother did this a few years back). By accident, or distraction of course. My grandmother has been crying since, saying how poor and helpless my mother is, how she's alone over there. But it's not true, she has someone over there, a boyfriend if you will. But if it's true that she feels alone, like she can't depend on this guy, why won't she leave him? The obvious answer is that she doesn't work and would have no way to support the house. So why won't she sell the house and come to Spain to live with her family? She says she wants to maintain the house for me, even though I've told her I don't have any plans to live there anymore. As far as I'm concerned that house burned down 10 years ago. It's like she comes up with all these excuses, but I think when it comes down to it she just doesn't want to give up on this 'american dream'. Though over there she's vulnerable and 'alone', she won't give up on this broken home to come back to her family. Yet she won't go through with the full consequences of the American dream either, she won't work to maintain what she has, relying on others instead. I fear for my mother, in my mind she is holding on to the tail of an airplane in a downward spiral.