(no subject)
So yea, worked today. Got to leave an hour early because I'm still sick. That was a good thing, nothing else was. Tonight wasn't as bad as last night, but it wasn't all that great either. Talked to deanna on the phone, let alittle of what I've been holding inside out, but not much. I really need a change in alot of things. That will make me happy. This whole "life" i'm leading isn't great, and my friends are utmost important under any circumstance. The things is, I don't even feel like certain people are my friends anymore, so all I can say is fuck it. Just fuck it. I don't have time for drama, or stress.
So tonight I was happy for about 15 minutes, and then It went away at 5 o'clock. Grrr. That was exciting, for 15 minutes.
To make all the drama worse, I miss him. SO much. It's completely indescrible. The way it all happened is the worst part. I replay it everyday in my head. And it reminds me how much it all hurt. I always get all worked up. I guess anyone would if it were their situation. I just want to have back what I used to have. It makes me sad because I know that I would be there, if I hadn't done anything to mess it all up. And the worst part is, is I don't even know what I did that messed it up. No clue.
All in all, I just wish I could be happy again. I wish all the hurt can go away. It isn't going anywhere. I just want it to go away. I want to stop all this crying.
So tonight I was happy for about 15 minutes, and then It went away at 5 o'clock. Grrr. That was exciting, for 15 minutes.
To make all the drama worse, I miss him. SO much. It's completely indescrible. The way it all happened is the worst part. I replay it everyday in my head. And it reminds me how much it all hurt. I always get all worked up. I guess anyone would if it were their situation. I just want to have back what I used to have. It makes me sad because I know that I would be there, if I hadn't done anything to mess it all up. And the worst part is, is I don't even know what I did that messed it up. No clue.
All in all, I just wish I could be happy again. I wish all the hurt can go away. It isn't going anywhere. I just want it to go away. I want to stop all this crying.