(no subject)
so.. this is nasty.
one of my gay guy friends... has a boyfriend before me.
this makes me want to die.
it gives me more initiative to die.
not even fucking kidding.
sandy's trying to help me... i would be nothing without her seriously.
i try to get through things, but without her i simply can't.
she's told me that if i don't have contact with him...
that in the end it will be better.
he'll realize something about me.
but i dont know. i just dont believe that he thinks [anything] of me.
who would.
one of my gay guy friends... has a boyfriend before me.
this makes me want to die.
it gives me more initiative to die.
not even fucking kidding.
sandy's trying to help me... i would be nothing without her seriously.
i try to get through things, but without her i simply can't.
she's told me that if i don't have contact with him...
that in the end it will be better.
he'll realize something about me.
but i dont know. i just dont believe that he thinks [anything] of me.
who would.