(no subject)
If you looked from an outside perspective to last night, it was absolutely scandalous and I'm probably going to hell. But from the inside, it was not. It was comforting and connecting in ways that I don't understand right now, and maybe never will. People are amazingly complicated creatures, and whenever I think I have one sounded out, I'm amazed at all the levels and layers I never suspected to exist. I just knew to trust whatever I instinctively knew to be true at the moment, and reject anything that didn't jive with it. The closer my relationships get, and the more willing I become to trust "situational right"-ness, and the more thankful I become for people who weren't in the situation to see what went into that decision, but trust me with their emotions to make the right one. Tonight I'm very thankful for James, and for Chelsea to give me the benefit of the doubt. You are a beautiful girl, and I'm lucky to have you on my side.
Three more nights left to stay in Chase Hall, and tonight was spend packing, listening to Blue Grass, having a crazy religious discussion with Isaac, and snuggling up to James' voice on the phone. My family is here, and my aunt and uncle come tomorrow, and they are very stressful for me. They love and support me, but they see the world so differently that it's hard for me to relate. I think they're coming to this not because they want to, but because they feel it's what they're supposed to do.
This is surreal. It feels like a big Parents Weekend event, where Monday will come and it will all return to normal. But it won't.