update update update
i broke up with Paden because i am not ready to settle down with one person, and he was all "meet the parents".
so now, i'm practically living the life i wanted.
i mean, there's Andrew.
He's really hot, really sweet, he's so damn intelligent it makes me sick, and he's really clean. He likes me though. Like, i think he wants to date exclusively, which I've already told him, i'm not down for it. and he's an asian. the first i've ever been with!
then there's Ian. he's really hot. he's built strong and thick, like i like 'em, and he seems like a really sweet guy. he has this bad habit of getting drunk and forgetting about our meeting arrangements.
then there's Zach, he's hot too, but he reminds me soooo much of shane that it's scary. i mean, check this out. he's got his nipples pierced, he's really short, and he even wants to go to beauty school. shane was short, had one of his nipples pierced, and i supported his ass through beauty school. it's fucking scary. they even look similar in the face and everything.
then there's Anthony. no, not the anthony that i've talked about from memphis, this one is right here in conway. he's native american, and if i was a size queen, i hear that native americans have on average bigger penises than black guys. but i don't care about that because i'm celibate. anyways, anthony has been after me since BEFORE I broke up with Paden. he once told me "yo quiero roberte" which for those of you who don't speak spanish means "i want to steal you". he's smooth, he's suave, and he's gorgeous.
i'm practically living the life that i want right now, and yet I still can't seem to be happy.
by the way, in case you can't read betwen the lines, i'm only sort of dating these people, like i said i'm celibate, and i haven't done anything with ANY of the above guys. i'm not a slut, i just want to date around. sex? no thanks. i'm good.
anyways, back to the point. i still can't seem to find happiness.
granted, spending the night cuddling with andrew grants me temporary solice, but it's not enough.
it's not that i'm trying to rely on these guys to make me happy, it's just that i'm doing what i thought would make me happy, and it's not working. maybe i'm just not open to happiness right now.
ehh, whatev! i'm gonna work on my paper now. i've procrastinated long enough, i think.
so now, i'm practically living the life i wanted.
i mean, there's Andrew.
He's really hot, really sweet, he's so damn intelligent it makes me sick, and he's really clean. He likes me though. Like, i think he wants to date exclusively, which I've already told him, i'm not down for it. and he's an asian. the first i've ever been with!
then there's Ian. he's really hot. he's built strong and thick, like i like 'em, and he seems like a really sweet guy. he has this bad habit of getting drunk and forgetting about our meeting arrangements.
then there's Zach, he's hot too, but he reminds me soooo much of shane that it's scary. i mean, check this out. he's got his nipples pierced, he's really short, and he even wants to go to beauty school. shane was short, had one of his nipples pierced, and i supported his ass through beauty school. it's fucking scary. they even look similar in the face and everything.
then there's Anthony. no, not the anthony that i've talked about from memphis, this one is right here in conway. he's native american, and if i was a size queen, i hear that native americans have on average bigger penises than black guys. but i don't care about that because i'm celibate. anyways, anthony has been after me since BEFORE I broke up with Paden. he once told me "yo quiero roberte" which for those of you who don't speak spanish means "i want to steal you". he's smooth, he's suave, and he's gorgeous.
i'm practically living the life that i want right now, and yet I still can't seem to be happy.
by the way, in case you can't read betwen the lines, i'm only sort of dating these people, like i said i'm celibate, and i haven't done anything with ANY of the above guys. i'm not a slut, i just want to date around. sex? no thanks. i'm good.
anyways, back to the point. i still can't seem to find happiness.
granted, spending the night cuddling with andrew grants me temporary solice, but it's not enough.
it's not that i'm trying to rely on these guys to make me happy, it's just that i'm doing what i thought would make me happy, and it's not working. maybe i'm just not open to happiness right now.
ehh, whatev! i'm gonna work on my paper now. i've procrastinated long enough, i think.