TRUTH of the divine
On my search for religion and spiritualiuty, I have recently come to realize (ponder): why am i asking these questions? Why am I continually asking questions about the bible? I want to dig to the root of the beliefs and find what is true to me within them...
but what if I'm just asking questions until I find the answer I want to hear? And if I don;t find the answer I want I am very frustrated and proclaim that the concept in question is stupid or that I can't talk about it to the person who's trying to explain it to me.
Will I ever recognize the truth? Is there such a thing as one true way? I think I don't believe that there is one true way to connect with god... I think for each person there's one or two best ways then the rest are hard or harder. I think Christianity for me is really hard to find god in. Why is this? I could find truth in jesus, i could find truth in the bible but I'd have to struggle... But to try that hard I would have to really want to... am I in control of what i want? can I make myself really want something?
Can you really force/convince yourself to believe something? I think when it coms down to it, we all find truth on whatever path we're on and I think it would be best to touch god on that way but some may not...
I am trying hard but not *really* hard to figure out the bible. I read it and I immediatly dismiss it or think it's good. I look for stuff to think about based on what I generally believe- wise men... give to the poor..:GOOD , jesus says.. I am the only way..:BAD etc etc
so am I looking through this with my brain or my heart? Am I searching until I find something I think is good, I look for what I want/need to hear then feel content? OR one could say that I search until I feel good , feel truth within me... But what does truth feel like? could I make my self feel truth in something or is it really just.. the truth (to me).
i've been also looking up hinduism and I really want to be a part of that culture and tradition but they generally have a really strong stance on anti- abortion.... which I am against for the rights of women.. also, they have a caste system and belive that if you are not good in this life you are reincarnated as a "lower" life form but I don't believe there are such things as lower life forms.. besides many other things...
Well, i could always learn the gods and the prayers and pray to them because I see truth in their beliefs, but I don't think it's in the same way other believe it- I believe in karma but I don't belive in "BAD" or good karma... Just that if you do some thing say, like kick a dog... later you will be helped in learning a lesson about kicking animals by being kicked by an elephant or something... generally it appears like there is such thing as good karma only because when it comes, it is an affirmation of your goodness or your kindness.. give a quarter to a little girl who needs it and later recieve three quarters in line when you're short on change- then you feel good and remeber that when you gave money to the girl how kind you really were.
Let me ask you this:
There is a parable Jesus tells in the bible about the kingdom of heaven being like a king inviting people to his son's wedding... He first invites people and no one says they will come.. then he sends out his servants again to those he wants to invite, saying that he has alreasy bought all the best food and prepared everything for them to come. Then some people say they will not and go about their farming or their business and other people harass and kill the servants. Then the king sends out his armies to kill the murderers. Then since no one is coming still, he tells his other servants to go onto the streets and highways to tell everyone to come to the wedding and they all come. but when they are there, the king asks one man who is not wearing wedding attire kindly why he is not. then the man is speechless and the king says he is to be taken and bound by hand and leg and there will be much wailing and gnashing of teeth where he will be. because "many are invited but few are chosen"
WTF
here i think the servants are christians and of course the king is god. The people he originally invited are the chosen people the jews. the people he invites off the street are the gentiles but what about the man who was not dressed up? How come he is he sent to hell? Why when the chosen people kill the servants they are killed as well but when a man comes not dressed for the wedding he is sent to hell and what does it mean to not dress?
will you decide for me if I like this parable or not or whether it is true for me by telling me what I want to hear? Is that how it works?
