You're hurting me.

[crying_heavens]

I've got so many decisions. I've got so many choices but I know only one will work out. Wait. None will work out. I don't know who anyone is anymore. I don't know my friends. I'm too far off into my world of hope that I don't even keep up with reality. I miss people. I miss being the one people turned too. I don't get looked at and I don't think I ever will. When will I ever have a life? When will I be the one that you meet and you love? When can I have to courage to go up to the guy? When will I start being the one the guy notices? When will I be the one with a million little followers? Why can't I pull off things my friends can? Am I jealos? Or am I just a horrible person.. I don't believe it's out there. I don't care if I come across ignorant. Not anymore. None of this seems worth it.. I don't talk to half of my friends anymore because they seem to annoy me. FRIENDS AREN'T SUPPOSE TO BE ANNOYING. You take faults like you take a bruise. No one will read this. I was right, friends aren't always the best remedy. Trust no one. Don't say it's just a mood because this is the way I've been feeling since ever. I hate myself and I tried to think, "Maybe someone will love me.." I'm not going to say people don't love me. Kaley does. Alex does. Etc. But that isn't who I want to love me.. I want.. I want.. I sound so greedy. See! No one could love me. I listen to music people think is stupid.. "What kind of name is that?" My bands. My music. Don't fuck with my music. I guess it turned out for the best:
How can I love someone if I don't even love myself?