(no subject)
and the wheels just keep on turning...
I barely write in an lj because who has the time? but it really is probably important for me to put some words down and process everything that's going on. And not at the superficial "this happened today" level. I just need to make sure I stay connected with me, and don't get too burned out.
Some days I feel very happy and sometimes I just feel stressed out beyond belief. This year is hard with increased responsibilities and being responsible for other people. I want to do everything and please everyone but I understand that can never be a reality. I just have to chug along and make sure everything gets done. But in doing that, in barely having time to breathe, in which even dancing can be a chore, i just feel like liz gets sucked away. I often get angry at very little things and feel like I lose myself. I want to find that happy balance but I can't do everything and get it. It has always been a constant in my life of being dissatisfied, even when there is not much to be too unhappy about.
But I really do have so much to be grateful for. Everything in my life really is on track despite not really being knowledgeable yet about psych grad school. although I do have time for that (summer 09 plan my future yay). I want to do everything and anything in these college years and they really have been amazing so far. I have grown up so much in high school, taken on positions of leadership that I never would have dreamt of, and excelled. I may not have necessarily wanted to be president of Dancin' Gators but it really is something I am growing into and feel good about. It's exciting to actually be in charge of people, to mediate conflicts, and to be respected. At times the role can be burdensome, but it really has been rewarding so far. I just love feeling confident in it, and knowing that I can succeed with it and do rise to whatever occasion is needed.
I have so many opportunities and have already had so much fun this year. I have so many amazing friends, it's just unfortunate I can't spend more time with all of them. I just need to get things in perspective sometimes, just surrender and not freak out. The other day I just laid on the grass on campus for 10 minutes, and it was so refreshing. As long as I take the time to relax, I feel like I can keep going.
Sometimes I love the fraternity so much and sometimes it bugs the hell out of me. Some people I feel are really awesome and then others I am just like, really? Thank god for a new pledge class every semester or else things would get really nasty. They really refresh the fraternity, and breathe new life into it. For the most part, I feel very little connection to my pledge class which is kind of sad. I love my family and am excited it's growing. But, it was disappointing not getting another little, and the big/little competition is increasingly making me feel a lot of anxiety. Well, I have another 6 mo to recover...
Okay kinda getting tired cuz I am not used to this anymore. Hopefully I will update more regularly....sigh.
I barely write in an lj because who has the time? but it really is probably important for me to put some words down and process everything that's going on. And not at the superficial "this happened today" level. I just need to make sure I stay connected with me, and don't get too burned out.
Some days I feel very happy and sometimes I just feel stressed out beyond belief. This year is hard with increased responsibilities and being responsible for other people. I want to do everything and please everyone but I understand that can never be a reality. I just have to chug along and make sure everything gets done. But in doing that, in barely having time to breathe, in which even dancing can be a chore, i just feel like liz gets sucked away. I often get angry at very little things and feel like I lose myself. I want to find that happy balance but I can't do everything and get it. It has always been a constant in my life of being dissatisfied, even when there is not much to be too unhappy about.
But I really do have so much to be grateful for. Everything in my life really is on track despite not really being knowledgeable yet about psych grad school. although I do have time for that (summer 09 plan my future yay). I want to do everything and anything in these college years and they really have been amazing so far. I have grown up so much in high school, taken on positions of leadership that I never would have dreamt of, and excelled. I may not have necessarily wanted to be president of Dancin' Gators but it really is something I am growing into and feel good about. It's exciting to actually be in charge of people, to mediate conflicts, and to be respected. At times the role can be burdensome, but it really has been rewarding so far. I just love feeling confident in it, and knowing that I can succeed with it and do rise to whatever occasion is needed.
I have so many opportunities and have already had so much fun this year. I have so many amazing friends, it's just unfortunate I can't spend more time with all of them. I just need to get things in perspective sometimes, just surrender and not freak out. The other day I just laid on the grass on campus for 10 minutes, and it was so refreshing. As long as I take the time to relax, I feel like I can keep going.
Sometimes I love the fraternity so much and sometimes it bugs the hell out of me. Some people I feel are really awesome and then others I am just like, really? Thank god for a new pledge class every semester or else things would get really nasty. They really refresh the fraternity, and breathe new life into it. For the most part, I feel very little connection to my pledge class which is kind of sad. I love my family and am excited it's growing. But, it was disappointing not getting another little, and the big/little competition is increasingly making me feel a lot of anxiety. Well, I have another 6 mo to recover...
Okay kinda getting tired cuz I am not used to this anymore. Hopefully I will update more regularly....sigh.