i made up my mind
Coming from my first job I was knee deep in confusion whether I want to pursue advertising at all or whether I should start paving the way for my photography.
I couldn't quite let go of advertising because, truth be told, I enjoyed it. I loved how it's so cerebral, almost intellectual. And that kind of pursuit is something I always find joy in.
And then there's photography. Photography which I've coveted since high school, which I focused on in college, which I try to do as often as I can.
During my free time I teetered back and forth. Advertising was challenging, photography was fun. Advertising was glamorous, photography was exciting. Advertising was secure, photography was fulfilling. Etc, etc, etc.
I had photography gigs, all of which brought me highs I couldn't even explain. But I kept thinking, I might still get this high in advertising. I couldn't count my previous job because it fell so short in so many levels. I figured, once I see a real agency and experience that, I will get that much looked-for elation. I couldn't decide then because I thought I haven't experienced the "real" advertising world yet. Once I do, I will see how much I enjoy it.
Last week, I was taken in by Ace Saatchi & Saatchi for a contractual copywriting position. I thought, it can't get better than this, especially since it is the agency I want to get in to. They're in the top three agencies in the country, and one of the biggest in the world. If I do well in this, they could hire me permanently and that's that.
And then my first day came, and my expectations were met. Two days in I learned more than I ever did in my 10 months at ARC. I was working under the top creatives, among absolutely wonderful people. I was also in the most beautiful office there could be. In other words, the place is perfect.
So, why wasn't I excited to come to work in the morning? Why was it that every time I looked out the floor-to-ceiling windows all I could think of was "I belong out there"? Why was it that despite the environment oozing with creative juice I find that I have to force myself into the mindset and I don't just automatically get into it? Why was it that every time I see something that interested me in the office, or on my way there, all I could think of was what an amazing shot that would be?
Forget that I've spent 6 hours of overtime in my two days. Or that I see how everyone else practically lives there. Or that I'd have to live there if I want to get in the upper echelons. It's just that, though I enjoy the creative process, that's just all it is: something I enjoy.
In comparison, I've had a couple of photog gigs in my free time and every single time I went home absolutely giddy. I slept laughing, with a smile on my face. I was holding a camera and I couldn't stop clicking. I get someone else to tell me I probably did enough, coz really, why stop?
Despite the fact that I'm gonna have to work my ass off to get anywhere. Or that I don't even really know yet how I'll go about making a career out of this. Or that none of my clients have completed their payments yet and that's probably how it's gonna be most of the time. Or that everyone is now a "photographer" and creating a niche out of that crowd is something I haven't figured out yet. Forget all of that.
The happiness I get when I'm shooting, when I'm composing shots, thinking up angles, lighting, etc, is just fucking intoxicating. And it's irrefutable now that photography isn't just something that I enjoy, it's something that I love.
The presence or absence of advertising in my life is inconsequential. But photography, and writing, I can not do without. And if I have the chance to make a living out of that, it will be beyond anything I ever expected. I mean, if you could turn air into gold, wouldn't you?
Thus for now, I'll do good in Saatchi because I owe it to myself, to my education, and to them for giving me the chance. Afterward, the way is clear to pursue my passions.
I'm frightened and overwhelmed, but I'm excited anyway. I really, really can't wait.
I couldn't quite let go of advertising because, truth be told, I enjoyed it. I loved how it's so cerebral, almost intellectual. And that kind of pursuit is something I always find joy in.
And then there's photography. Photography which I've coveted since high school, which I focused on in college, which I try to do as often as I can.
During my free time I teetered back and forth. Advertising was challenging, photography was fun. Advertising was glamorous, photography was exciting. Advertising was secure, photography was fulfilling. Etc, etc, etc.
I had photography gigs, all of which brought me highs I couldn't even explain. But I kept thinking, I might still get this high in advertising. I couldn't count my previous job because it fell so short in so many levels. I figured, once I see a real agency and experience that, I will get that much looked-for elation. I couldn't decide then because I thought I haven't experienced the "real" advertising world yet. Once I do, I will see how much I enjoy it.
Last week, I was taken in by Ace Saatchi & Saatchi for a contractual copywriting position. I thought, it can't get better than this, especially since it is the agency I want to get in to. They're in the top three agencies in the country, and one of the biggest in the world. If I do well in this, they could hire me permanently and that's that.
And then my first day came, and my expectations were met. Two days in I learned more than I ever did in my 10 months at ARC. I was working under the top creatives, among absolutely wonderful people. I was also in the most beautiful office there could be. In other words, the place is perfect.
So, why wasn't I excited to come to work in the morning? Why was it that every time I looked out the floor-to-ceiling windows all I could think of was "I belong out there"? Why was it that despite the environment oozing with creative juice I find that I have to force myself into the mindset and I don't just automatically get into it? Why was it that every time I see something that interested me in the office, or on my way there, all I could think of was what an amazing shot that would be?
Forget that I've spent 6 hours of overtime in my two days. Or that I see how everyone else practically lives there. Or that I'd have to live there if I want to get in the upper echelons. It's just that, though I enjoy the creative process, that's just all it is: something I enjoy.
In comparison, I've had a couple of photog gigs in my free time and every single time I went home absolutely giddy. I slept laughing, with a smile on my face. I was holding a camera and I couldn't stop clicking. I get someone else to tell me I probably did enough, coz really, why stop?
Despite the fact that I'm gonna have to work my ass off to get anywhere. Or that I don't even really know yet how I'll go about making a career out of this. Or that none of my clients have completed their payments yet and that's probably how it's gonna be most of the time. Or that everyone is now a "photographer" and creating a niche out of that crowd is something I haven't figured out yet. Forget all of that.
The happiness I get when I'm shooting, when I'm composing shots, thinking up angles, lighting, etc, is just fucking intoxicating. And it's irrefutable now that photography isn't just something that I enjoy, it's something that I love.
The presence or absence of advertising in my life is inconsequential. But photography, and writing, I can not do without. And if I have the chance to make a living out of that, it will be beyond anything I ever expected. I mean, if you could turn air into gold, wouldn't you?
Thus for now, I'll do good in Saatchi because I owe it to myself, to my education, and to them for giving me the chance. Afterward, the way is clear to pursue my passions.
I'm frightened and overwhelmed, but I'm excited anyway. I really, really can't wait.