Purple Unicorns
Random title. I have so many different things to say right about now I couldn't find one cohesive thought to sum it up. So, to the eternal scapegoat: lists.
1. One issue I have is that I've always been one of the boys. In the neighborhood, my main playmate was a boy. In the family, the cousins closest to my age, and thus by default my main playmates, were boys. Among my parents' friends, the kids my age were all boys. So in my earliest formative years I was around boys all the time, most of the time. Now the problem is I think I've become such a bro I don't know how to undo it. Boys I'm with always see me as one of them. I get none of the special, or at the very least, courteous treatment they give other girls. No, they behave 150% like boys around me, no sugarcoats. And I normally don't mind this, except now more than ever I want the opposite sex to realize that I belong with their opposite sex. That I'm not one of them. That they should maybe consider my presence before they talk about sexual escapades with various prostitutes. Or double-take when they start pushing me or play-punching me like just another "buddy". I'm a girl. I'm not girly, or frilly, or maybe even very feminine. But I am a girl. And I want them to know that. Problem is, how in the world do I crank up the sex appeal.
2. My mom's been creeping me out lately. Two weekends in a row she's said some stuff that just raised my biological panic meter several notches. First was the other weekend. We were discussing cars in relation to her retirement 10 years from now. I said by that time she should get a bigger one because we were the most flexible among my titos and titas so everyone wants to come with us all the time, but there's no space. And then she answers that there's really no need because by that time my cousins and I will be "higher up in life". And then, out of the blue, she added, "Plus there will be grand kids by then...", and then she trailed off as if wanting me to confirm the thought. All I could think of though was "Holy fuuuuuuuuck she's thinking about these things already! And I don't even have prospects, in that regard." It's just a little unnerving to hear outright your mother's expectations when you yourself have so far failed to meet your own elementary ones.
Then the following week, the same thing. We were having dinner and talking about various people's relationships, certain people getting married, etc. Then I shared what Kat said a while back about a study that shows the younger generation finding more importance in knowing themselves and fulfilling themselves over starting a family, thus marrying age has been pushed back. She considered it before saying that 'finding yourself' is a lifelong process anyway whereas starting a family has a time factor, especially when you're stable enough with who you are. But this wasn't the main thing. She then went on to add that by default, to how us humans were engineered, it's easier and therefore better to go through life with someone else who could go through it with you. And then she still went on to add, albeit jokingly, and I quote "tsaka baka matuyot ka". Then she and my dad went laughing. I was like "WHERE THE HELL IS ALL THIS COMING FROM".
I could say of course that the "someone else" we'll be going through life with doesn't have to be a romance; it could be friends or family. But who am I kidding. I think we all know, after a lifetime of going through with the latter, that it's not the same. After all, if it's not, we wouldn't be looking so hard for what we're looking for. And I think my mom knows that too.
3. I just got an offer to work as a contractual copywriter for a multinational ad agency. A multinational agency I happen to like a LOT. I'm going to their office tomorrow to see the offer, and if it's all good I get to start asap. As with every new beginning, especially those that come with stakes, I'm very, very excited and a bit nervous as well. All I know is, I'm gonna do my best, no conditions. Then God, and the Universe, will bring on the rest.
Hay. I smell a whole lot of change coming towards me, coming from me? Anyhow, it's gonna be good. Or maybe even grand. I can't wait. :)
-ps-
Now this is something I don't do often, maybe even ever. But my birthday's coming up. I'm turning 22 and I want to feel 22. So, if you're feeling charitable, how bout sending a bikini or a hot dress my way? Nyahahahahaha.
1. One issue I have is that I've always been one of the boys. In the neighborhood, my main playmate was a boy. In the family, the cousins closest to my age, and thus by default my main playmates, were boys. Among my parents' friends, the kids my age were all boys. So in my earliest formative years I was around boys all the time, most of the time. Now the problem is I think I've become such a bro I don't know how to undo it. Boys I'm with always see me as one of them. I get none of the special, or at the very least, courteous treatment they give other girls. No, they behave 150% like boys around me, no sugarcoats. And I normally don't mind this, except now more than ever I want the opposite sex to realize that I belong with their opposite sex. That I'm not one of them. That they should maybe consider my presence before they talk about sexual escapades with various prostitutes. Or double-take when they start pushing me or play-punching me like just another "buddy". I'm a girl. I'm not girly, or frilly, or maybe even very feminine. But I am a girl. And I want them to know that. Problem is, how in the world do I crank up the sex appeal.
2. My mom's been creeping me out lately. Two weekends in a row she's said some stuff that just raised my biological panic meter several notches. First was the other weekend. We were discussing cars in relation to her retirement 10 years from now. I said by that time she should get a bigger one because we were the most flexible among my titos and titas so everyone wants to come with us all the time, but there's no space. And then she answers that there's really no need because by that time my cousins and I will be "higher up in life". And then, out of the blue, she added, "Plus there will be grand kids by then...", and then she trailed off as if wanting me to confirm the thought. All I could think of though was "Holy fuuuuuuuuck she's thinking about these things already! And I don't even have prospects, in that regard." It's just a little unnerving to hear outright your mother's expectations when you yourself have so far failed to meet your own elementary ones.
Then the following week, the same thing. We were having dinner and talking about various people's relationships, certain people getting married, etc. Then I shared what Kat said a while back about a study that shows the younger generation finding more importance in knowing themselves and fulfilling themselves over starting a family, thus marrying age has been pushed back. She considered it before saying that 'finding yourself' is a lifelong process anyway whereas starting a family has a time factor, especially when you're stable enough with who you are. But this wasn't the main thing. She then went on to add that by default, to how us humans were engineered, it's easier and therefore better to go through life with someone else who could go through it with you. And then she still went on to add, albeit jokingly, and I quote "tsaka baka matuyot ka". Then she and my dad went laughing. I was like "WHERE THE HELL IS ALL THIS COMING FROM".
I could say of course that the "someone else" we'll be going through life with doesn't have to be a romance; it could be friends or family. But who am I kidding. I think we all know, after a lifetime of going through with the latter, that it's not the same. After all, if it's not, we wouldn't be looking so hard for what we're looking for. And I think my mom knows that too.
3. I just got an offer to work as a contractual copywriter for a multinational ad agency. A multinational agency I happen to like a LOT. I'm going to their office tomorrow to see the offer, and if it's all good I get to start asap. As with every new beginning, especially those that come with stakes, I'm very, very excited and a bit nervous as well. All I know is, I'm gonna do my best, no conditions. Then God, and the Universe, will bring on the rest.
Hay. I smell a whole lot of change coming towards me, coming from me? Anyhow, it's gonna be good. Or maybe even grand. I can't wait. :)
-ps-
Now this is something I don't do often, maybe even ever. But my birthday's coming up. I'm turning 22 and I want to feel 22. So, if you're feeling charitable, how bout sending a bikini or a hot dress my way? Nyahahahahaha.