Poll Results coming soon
I'm tallying results now. If you didn't participate or didn't follow the thread, please check out...
http://www.livejournal.com/users/crueltywhite/106802.html
I'm facinated by the results so maybe you will be, too!
The Poll
Men, you chose your preference. Women, you choose what you believe to be the most desired (by men/society) behavior.
You meet 3 women and they have all been single for 6 months. Take as a given that all other things are equal and you're equally interested in all 3. Her sexual behavior has since been one of the following:
A. Kept hooking up occassionally with the ex. She's not interested in getting back with him and he isn't interested either. She'd stop that to be with you.
B. Hooked-up with a friend on multiple occassions. They're just friends-with-benefits and neither is interested in more. He'll be around but it's no big deal.
C. Hooked-up with 3 or 4 guys after a few dates or maybe just partying together. This would obviously stop and she has no continuing relationship (friend or otherwise) with any of them.
----------------------------------------------------
I basically hypothesized that men would pick C, and women would pick A or B. I am of the opinion that women overemphasize "keeping numbers low," and fail to realize that men are more concerned with what's behind the numbers than the numbers themselves.
I didn't consider whether or not the person surveyed was involved in a relationship or not. I now suspect that has an effect. I wonder if the number of partners a survey-taker has in his/her history would probably also have an effect.
I'm amused by how many guys seem to be basing their entire strategy on avoiding psychos. :)
Anyway here are the results:
M=male, F=female
M: A=4 (26.7%) B=1 (6.7%) C=10 (66.7%)
F: A=2 (22.2%) B=2 (22.2%) C=5 (55.6%)
broken down further...
S=single, C=committed
SM: A=4 (40%) B=0 (0%) C=6 (60%)
SF: A=2 (66.6%) B=0 (0%) C=1 (33.3%)
CM: A=0 (0%) B=1 (20%) C=4 (80%)
CF: A=0 (0%) B=2 (33.3%) C=4 (66.6%)
Analysis?
Well I can't say that I entirely proved my hypothesis. I won't criticize people's votes other than to say I don't think the STD argument is particularly useful here, so I think it's interesting that it was brought up several times. If you're in anything but a committed relationship, you're putting yourself at risk. Even if you are monogamous in your A or B stage, there's nothing stopping your partner from barebacking some IV drug-users when you're out of town.
I'm a bit surprised at the lack of love for friends-with-benefits. I consider myself a pretty jealous person and I thought more people would be (or believe guys would be) threatened by an ex, but the guys were all pretty concerned about a former partner being present. Wow. Now that I think about it, that choice is consistent with studies I've heard/read on cheating. As I recall... The women were more concerned with the emotions involved. They would first ask "do you care about that woman?" The men were more concerned with exactly what sex acts were performed. :)
So it would seem that A is the choice where men are willing to concede some potential emotional posession, in order to avoid competition over physical posession. Choice B supposedly has no emotional posession, but certainly some competition in the physical department. To me, C is a good compromise choice but I guess the physical aspect is threatening enough?
Further selling MY opinion...
Making the A vs C choice, we (guys) are trying to decide which girl is least likely to end up being crazy and ruining our lives. With A I guess you're hoping she gets over it, but I guess I don't think it happens so easily. With C you're facing someone who is possibly chaotic, but at least that's easy to detect and you could get out of the relationship right away. With C you at least have the possibility that the girl is sane right away and stays sane as the relationship progresses.
Thx to everyone for answering honestly! Feel free to rebut my analysis and offer your own.
-----------------------------------------
Fun Addition...
I put a similar poll up on my fav pro-wrestling website and got some amusing answers. Many of these guys are internet aquantences, but I really only know if people are married and older. The young guys might or might not have gf's so I'm leaving that out.
I'm not combining the two polls because ultimately the wrestling fans are not our peers. Not because they're wrestling fans (heh) but because they are too varied in age, location, and social class. The LJ readers are more our peers... thus more relevant.
Here are their results:
A= 1 (7%)
B= 6 (43%)
C= 7 (50%)
...And some amusing quotes:
"I really dont care to know how many guys a girl has been with, but they always seem to want to tell you anyway. The number of girls that you have been with is always too large for them. Women are stupid."
"Went for option C. Two reasons:
1. I want a girl who's so constantly horny she turns up the bass in her car stereo so she can get off while driving
2. I don't mind wearing a condom."
They were really all over the place, but the higher number of B's seems to be because it's more of a known quantity. There is no mention of jealousy regarding the benefit-partner, and few comments that seem to imply that this is the "respectable" way for a woman to behave. These are true believers in the Friends with Benefits program, whereas our group seems more skeptical. Almost everyone believed that the A girl is trouble. Some cited lingering feelings as a potential problem.
http://www.livejournal.com/users/crueltywhite/106802.html
I'm facinated by the results so maybe you will be, too!
The Poll
Men, you chose your preference. Women, you choose what you believe to be the most desired (by men/society) behavior.
You meet 3 women and they have all been single for 6 months. Take as a given that all other things are equal and you're equally interested in all 3. Her sexual behavior has since been one of the following:
A. Kept hooking up occassionally with the ex. She's not interested in getting back with him and he isn't interested either. She'd stop that to be with you.
B. Hooked-up with a friend on multiple occassions. They're just friends-with-benefits and neither is interested in more. He'll be around but it's no big deal.
C. Hooked-up with 3 or 4 guys after a few dates or maybe just partying together. This would obviously stop and she has no continuing relationship (friend or otherwise) with any of them.
----------------------------------------------------
I basically hypothesized that men would pick C, and women would pick A or B. I am of the opinion that women overemphasize "keeping numbers low," and fail to realize that men are more concerned with what's behind the numbers than the numbers themselves.
I didn't consider whether or not the person surveyed was involved in a relationship or not. I now suspect that has an effect. I wonder if the number of partners a survey-taker has in his/her history would probably also have an effect.
I'm amused by how many guys seem to be basing their entire strategy on avoiding psychos. :)
Anyway here are the results:
M=male, F=female
M: A=4 (26.7%) B=1 (6.7%) C=10 (66.7%)
F: A=2 (22.2%) B=2 (22.2%) C=5 (55.6%)
broken down further...
S=single, C=committed
SM: A=4 (40%) B=0 (0%) C=6 (60%)
SF: A=2 (66.6%) B=0 (0%) C=1 (33.3%)
CM: A=0 (0%) B=1 (20%) C=4 (80%)
CF: A=0 (0%) B=2 (33.3%) C=4 (66.6%)
Analysis?
Well I can't say that I entirely proved my hypothesis. I won't criticize people's votes other than to say I don't think the STD argument is particularly useful here, so I think it's interesting that it was brought up several times. If you're in anything but a committed relationship, you're putting yourself at risk. Even if you are monogamous in your A or B stage, there's nothing stopping your partner from barebacking some IV drug-users when you're out of town.
I'm a bit surprised at the lack of love for friends-with-benefits. I consider myself a pretty jealous person and I thought more people would be (or believe guys would be) threatened by an ex, but the guys were all pretty concerned about a former partner being present. Wow. Now that I think about it, that choice is consistent with studies I've heard/read on cheating. As I recall... The women were more concerned with the emotions involved. They would first ask "do you care about that woman?" The men were more concerned with exactly what sex acts were performed. :)
So it would seem that A is the choice where men are willing to concede some potential emotional posession, in order to avoid competition over physical posession. Choice B supposedly has no emotional posession, but certainly some competition in the physical department. To me, C is a good compromise choice but I guess the physical aspect is threatening enough?
Further selling MY opinion...
Making the A vs C choice, we (guys) are trying to decide which girl is least likely to end up being crazy and ruining our lives. With A I guess you're hoping she gets over it, but I guess I don't think it happens so easily. With C you're facing someone who is possibly chaotic, but at least that's easy to detect and you could get out of the relationship right away. With C you at least have the possibility that the girl is sane right away and stays sane as the relationship progresses.
Thx to everyone for answering honestly! Feel free to rebut my analysis and offer your own.
-----------------------------------------
Fun Addition...
I put a similar poll up on my fav pro-wrestling website and got some amusing answers. Many of these guys are internet aquantences, but I really only know if people are married and older. The young guys might or might not have gf's so I'm leaving that out.
I'm not combining the two polls because ultimately the wrestling fans are not our peers. Not because they're wrestling fans (heh) but because they are too varied in age, location, and social class. The LJ readers are more our peers... thus more relevant.
Here are their results:
A= 1 (7%)
B= 6 (43%)
C= 7 (50%)
...And some amusing quotes:
"I really dont care to know how many guys a girl has been with, but they always seem to want to tell you anyway. The number of girls that you have been with is always too large for them. Women are stupid."
"Went for option C. Two reasons:
1. I want a girl who's so constantly horny she turns up the bass in her car stereo so she can get off while driving
2. I don't mind wearing a condom."
They were really all over the place, but the higher number of B's seems to be because it's more of a known quantity. There is no mention of jealousy regarding the benefit-partner, and few comments that seem to imply that this is the "respectable" way for a woman to behave. These are true believers in the Friends with Benefits program, whereas our group seems more skeptical. Almost everyone believed that the A girl is trouble. Some cited lingering feelings as a potential problem.