Badgers can't be choosers
I saw Eddie Izzard last night at the Orpheum Theater. It was the first night of his tour and he was amazing. I paid my left kidney for orchestra seats and I wasn't disappointed. We were in the Center, Row G. B. got some terrific pictures and if I can ever figure out how to post them here, I will.
The overall theme of the show was, more or less, "There is no God. Get over it." Some of my favorite parts:
A T-Rex playing a church organ with it's teeny hands and singing hymns, "All God's Creatures, Great & Small."
In speaking about God creating the world and making food for all the creatures, badgers complaining about what they are given to eat and God replying, "Badgers can't be choosers." The audience groaned, Eddie replied, "Fuck off. I suppose you've all just had it up to here with badgers can't be choosers jokes."
He had a great riff on Noah's Ark and the lack of logic in that story. Noah has his son helping him load the ark and has a checklist. "Two tigers, two sheep, two goats, two marmots, two llamas. Okay, read that back to me." "Two tigers." "What?" "Two tigers. You didn't really think this through, did you?"
More on Noah's ark: a giant squid in a cupboard. "Excuse me? Mrs. Noah? There are no towels and the television isn't working."
Eddie was absolutely gorgeous, brilliant and funny. I wish I got tickets for tonight and tomorrow night. I got a program and keychain which I'm guarding with my life.