Costume progress, Shamanic group meeting, and Halloween.
Tangible updates:
-Got my dress fabric for Elphaba. I have my cape AND dress fabric now, so me and my sister are going to start working on it today. I just need to purple eyeshadow for contouring, get the buttons for the dress (which will be hard since I need about twelve of them), test my green makeup, and buy my hat fabric, which hopefully involves coupons so I can get the awesome but expensive spotted batik fabric I spotted a while ago. Batik is nine dollars a yard, and the batik remnants they have on clearance aren't the patterns I need.
-Nearly done with my canvas messenger bag. I put my Celtic knotwork bracelet on hold because I've been nearly done with this stupid bag for WEEKS now, but canvas is tedious to sew (especially by hand). I literally only need to sew one end of the strap on and to tweak the button loops, so I'm just going to finish the bastard and then help my sister with my Elphaba mockup.
-At least three Halloween-oriented events. I'm seeing a Celtic-fusion band for their early Samhain celebration (Oct. 25th) at my favorite cafe--Four Shillings Short. Then my parkour group is having an early costume meetup next Sunday (the 27th), which I'll go to in the morning so I can leave at two-ish for my shamanic group meeting. I'm not sure if it's going to be a normal drum-circle or if we're going to an ecstatic dance meet in Oakland. Or if we're doing both. And then on Halloween itself, me and my sister are going to be Elphaba and Batgirl and take photos around town with our AWESOME NEW PHONES.
-Lost my phone and got a new one (finally). I now have an iPhone 4. It's SO MUCH BETTER than my old Blackberry. Plus I can play music WITHOUT needing my laptop or a finicky-ass speaker like with my iPod shuffle.
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Intangible Updates:
October 6th was a bit more of a clusterfuck than usual.
The Bruin showed up in the middle of my talk with Danu and the Morrigan, and he freaked Danu out REALLY bad. Like, "grabbed me, got a knife out, and started screaming 'FDJSKALJKA GET THE HELL OUT OF THE HOUSE!'" bad. Apparently she freaked out for three reasons:
A) She didn't think he was the same bear from before.
B) She didn't think he was the same bear because bears aren't supposed to wander into people's homes.
C) Outside of the forest, the Bruin apparently gives off enough "Northern/Norse" vibes that a big part of her freakout was explicitly telling the Bruin to "GO BACK TO YOUR FROZEN ROCKS, NORTHMAN!"
So Odin came up and straightened things out, I pointed out the irony of Danu going Mama Bear on a literal bear, and apparently the Bruin startles the Tuatha De (except Ogma) so much that they haven't really talked about it yet. And the ones that DO try to give a heads-up aren't usually believed. Miach explained that, "Well, 'if you're talking with her and a bear comes up in the middle of things, DON'T FREAK OUT' isn't the easiest thing to swallow." (And yeah, he does have a point.)
And then Fox came up while I was finally managing to fall asleep (mostly because of the Bruin). He picked up the staff Freya gave me and went "EEEEEEE MAGIC!" So I tried to get it back and I told Fox that I don't even know what that thing's for, aside from an almost definite connection to seidr, but Fox went "LOL, I DO!" And then he used it for some sort of drum-circle/energy-work music ritual.
Odin told me that Fox had no clue about it either, at least not before he touched the staff. Apparently Fox can use nearly anything shamanic/magical because he lacks both the mental baggage of humans and the specialization limits of most deities.
It was unsettling information about a spirit who has really strong schizoid tendencies and enjoys playing with Spirit-Me's hair, but it doesn't really surprise me.
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And then about a week ago while I was drafting my Elphaba cosplay, Elphaba (and Glinda and Fiyero) showed up.
Shortly thereafter, Hanschen, Glinda, and Fiyero (who is the book's ambiguously-brown Fiyero with lots of blue tattoos) came in and tried to make her go back to the other ancestors. Apparently it was too early for her to come up, but my cosplay planning got her attention.
It became pretty evident why they didn't want her to come yet, because I went, "...Wait, Hanschen, what's the problem?"
She immediately insisted that "HIS NAME IS LIIR!" (Liir is Elphaba's son in the Wicked novel's sequel.) Irish-Sea-God-Lir kept mistaking it for his own name, coming over, and setting Elphaba off on a "STOP EAVESDROPPING ON FAMILY CONVERSATIONS" rant.
Elphaba doesn't seem to recognize the Tuatha De as gods. She either snarks/yells at them to leave, or she outright tries to ATTACK them--during her life, she didn't know how to cope with seeing spirits (and people also called her a freak for it), so she's not well-equipped to deal with gods constantly dropping in on my meditations.
She said she had "the falling sickness." Her case isn't QUITE epilepsy, since Glinda said that her fits either left her unconsciousness or she went into rages (the latter is definitely not epilepsy, and apparently her condition got worse when Fiyero got murdered by the KKK), but it definitely falls under the shamanic-sickness umbrella because Elphaba could tell the future and "heal people who didn't need a doctor." It might be energy-work, since she cleared my energy a minute after she arrived.
She also feels EXTREMELY powerful--whenever she goes into fits, she gets HUGE and black/purple/red, and it takes either three ancestors or one god to calm her down. Then the Morrigan dropped by to check on me. Since a war/death goddess is definitely not a reassuring spirit, Elphaba shoved me into a corner and then tried to electrocute the Morrigan. She wouldn't have done much since the Morrigan is a goddess, but I was kind of panicking and so I grabbed Elphaba to try and drag her back.
For about five minutes, I couldn't feel my legs, everything was purple/blue/gray, and my hands were tingling. The reasons I wasn't MORE hurt was because Elphaba is my ancestor, and the attack wasn't meant for me.
Elphaba's skin keeps switching between green and "normal" (the actual shade ranges from very pale to a dark tan). Normal skin-color seems to connate to "sane/happy," and... well, I've only seen her with normal skin for a few moments at a time before it flickers back to green.
Hanschen said that there's a Trism-equivalent floating around somewhere (Trism being Liir's unrequited-love-interest in the books), and that he doesn't want to see him yet. To the point where Hanschen actively keeps me from saying the name too often, because it might call him over.
This is getting extremely weird because I only have a vague knowledge of The Wicked Years series. I know the general plot, most characters' names, and that it's depressing as hell, but I have yet to read it because I have no money and I'm not sure I want to read a shaggy-dog story (however well-written, because I do like Gregory Maguire's style).
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Sunday's group meeting was interesting; the medicine-woman told me that I should come to an ecstatic dance meet-up where she and her family had a fantastic time. It's around the last Sunday of the month, and we're probably going to go as a group (which I enjoy because it's just so much more fun to watch ). Even if people don't/can't dance (or lack the stamina for three hours of it), there's an altar where people can meditate or take a break.
So there were only three people in the circle besides the medicine-woman: Me, another member, and a new woman. She was wearing an all-red outfit with (mostly) black running shoes, and I couldn't quite figure out why the outfit pulled at me so much because then we started the journey.
The question itself was something like, "Ask Spirit/Ancestors to remind you of your identities." What surprised me was that the ancestors all went ":DDDD" and kept shoving past each other, trying to talk all at once. They don't do that anymore, especially when the medicine-woman is there to keep things in check, and it totally put my plans to ask about Elphaba on hold. So I'm like, "Argh, calm down," and I just listened while the other member started talking about her writing, which deals with child abuse (hers is a novel).
I mentioned how I've been working on my modern update of Donkeyskin for our college project, which the gods had started sending me bits of the scenes/script early on. When I mentioned that Aine told me that the decision to actually write it down was entirely mine, the medicine-woman agreed and told me that we always have a choice to do what Spirit asks of us, even if we don't think so.
And then the new woman mentioned that she'd originally been planning to avoid this subject entirely, because she'd already gone through abuse and written/talked/thought about it enough. Which led to her own discussion of animal totems, since she'd been seeing owls for a while and "their eyes terrify me." The medicine-woman told her to look them up because animals that scare us are especially likely to teach us something we need.
So she mentioned that she was wearing red today because she loves tigers, and she wants to get to know them more because her writing-voice tends to give off tiger-vibes, but she can't quite figure out why. The Tiger who's been dropping in on me whenever he feels like it promptly laughed at me. So I mentioned that tigers are the king of beasts in Asia and that in my experiences, tigers do have extremely masculine and powerful energy, which might be why she's so drawn to them. (The medicine-woman also said that tigers do have a feminine/nurturing aspect as well, and my experiences might not match up with the other woman's.)
And suddenly Fox went in going "EEEEEEE RED," and he started jabbing me about the new woman's clothing until I realized that "red outfit plus black shoes" is pretty much a fox's coloring. So I mentioned how Fox tends to drop into my meditation, do something weird/irrelevant, and then a few days/weeks later I finally realize what it means in my life and how it can help me out.
Also, we'd been talking about ecstatic dance at the start of the meeting. That's very much a Fox subject.
I also remember that a few days ago, Fox finally did something that makes sense. I was getting spirit-overloaded again and I couldn't sleep even with Moritz's help, so Fox came into my meditation-room, curled up around the bed, and shut the noise out.
So that was even more coincidence than usual in our group meeting, and I wonder if it's because Samhain is in a week. I'll send the medicine-woman an email about what the Tiger said about how Fox's ability to "see everything at once" makes him look crazy, because I keep running through that conversation in my head lately.
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Speaking of the script, one of the theater companies in Berkeley LOVES our idea and in a couple of years, they want us to perform it on their stage as a summer deal. Which means I want to graduate on time even MORE than I already do, and I only have about four or five classes left to fulfill my degree anyway. (Even with dropping my sociology class. I hope it isn't going to work out too badly, but when I can't afford the book and checking it out two hours a day isn't NEARLY enough for the giant three-hour discussion, I knew at the back of my head that I wouldn't get more than a D no matter how hard I tried.)
-Got my dress fabric for Elphaba. I have my cape AND dress fabric now, so me and my sister are going to start working on it today. I just need to purple eyeshadow for contouring, get the buttons for the dress (which will be hard since I need about twelve of them), test my green makeup, and buy my hat fabric, which hopefully involves coupons so I can get the awesome but expensive spotted batik fabric I spotted a while ago. Batik is nine dollars a yard, and the batik remnants they have on clearance aren't the patterns I need.
-Nearly done with my canvas messenger bag. I put my Celtic knotwork bracelet on hold because I've been nearly done with this stupid bag for WEEKS now, but canvas is tedious to sew (especially by hand). I literally only need to sew one end of the strap on and to tweak the button loops, so I'm just going to finish the bastard and then help my sister with my Elphaba mockup.
-At least three Halloween-oriented events. I'm seeing a Celtic-fusion band for their early Samhain celebration (Oct. 25th) at my favorite cafe--Four Shillings Short. Then my parkour group is having an early costume meetup next Sunday (the 27th), which I'll go to in the morning so I can leave at two-ish for my shamanic group meeting. I'm not sure if it's going to be a normal drum-circle or if we're going to an ecstatic dance meet in Oakland. Or if we're doing both. And then on Halloween itself, me and my sister are going to be Elphaba and Batgirl and take photos around town with our AWESOME NEW PHONES.
-Lost my phone and got a new one (finally). I now have an iPhone 4. It's SO MUCH BETTER than my old Blackberry. Plus I can play music WITHOUT needing my laptop or a finicky-ass speaker like with my iPod shuffle.
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Intangible Updates:
October 6th was a bit more of a clusterfuck than usual.
The Bruin showed up in the middle of my talk with Danu and the Morrigan, and he freaked Danu out REALLY bad. Like, "grabbed me, got a knife out, and started screaming 'FDJSKALJKA GET THE HELL OUT OF THE HOUSE!'" bad. Apparently she freaked out for three reasons:
A) She didn't think he was the same bear from before.
B) She didn't think he was the same bear because bears aren't supposed to wander into people's homes.
C) Outside of the forest, the Bruin apparently gives off enough "Northern/Norse" vibes that a big part of her freakout was explicitly telling the Bruin to "GO BACK TO YOUR FROZEN ROCKS, NORTHMAN!"
So Odin came up and straightened things out, I pointed out the irony of Danu going Mama Bear on a literal bear, and apparently the Bruin startles the Tuatha De (except Ogma) so much that they haven't really talked about it yet. And the ones that DO try to give a heads-up aren't usually believed. Miach explained that, "Well, 'if you're talking with her and a bear comes up in the middle of things, DON'T FREAK OUT' isn't the easiest thing to swallow." (And yeah, he does have a point.)
And then Fox came up while I was finally managing to fall asleep (mostly because of the Bruin). He picked up the staff Freya gave me and went "EEEEEEE MAGIC!" So I tried to get it back and I told Fox that I don't even know what that thing's for, aside from an almost definite connection to seidr, but Fox went "LOL, I DO!" And then he used it for some sort of drum-circle/energy-work music ritual.
Odin told me that Fox had no clue about it either, at least not before he touched the staff. Apparently Fox can use nearly anything shamanic/magical because he lacks both the mental baggage of humans and the specialization limits of most deities.
It was unsettling information about a spirit who has really strong schizoid tendencies and enjoys playing with Spirit-Me's hair, but it doesn't really surprise me.
-----
And then about a week ago while I was drafting my Elphaba cosplay, Elphaba (and Glinda and Fiyero) showed up.
Shortly thereafter, Hanschen, Glinda, and Fiyero (who is the book's ambiguously-brown Fiyero with lots of blue tattoos) came in and tried to make her go back to the other ancestors. Apparently it was too early for her to come up, but my cosplay planning got her attention.
It became pretty evident why they didn't want her to come yet, because I went, "...Wait, Hanschen, what's the problem?"
She immediately insisted that "HIS NAME IS LIIR!" (Liir is Elphaba's son in the Wicked novel's sequel.) Irish-Sea-God-Lir kept mistaking it for his own name, coming over, and setting Elphaba off on a "STOP EAVESDROPPING ON FAMILY CONVERSATIONS" rant.
Elphaba doesn't seem to recognize the Tuatha De as gods. She either snarks/yells at them to leave, or she outright tries to ATTACK them--during her life, she didn't know how to cope with seeing spirits (and people also called her a freak for it), so she's not well-equipped to deal with gods constantly dropping in on my meditations.
She said she had "the falling sickness." Her case isn't QUITE epilepsy, since Glinda said that her fits either left her unconsciousness or she went into rages (the latter is definitely not epilepsy, and apparently her condition got worse when Fiyero got murdered by the KKK), but it definitely falls under the shamanic-sickness umbrella because Elphaba could tell the future and "heal people who didn't need a doctor." It might be energy-work, since she cleared my energy a minute after she arrived.
She also feels EXTREMELY powerful--whenever she goes into fits, she gets HUGE and black/purple/red, and it takes either three ancestors or one god to calm her down. Then the Morrigan dropped by to check on me. Since a war/death goddess is definitely not a reassuring spirit, Elphaba shoved me into a corner and then tried to electrocute the Morrigan. She wouldn't have done much since the Morrigan is a goddess, but I was kind of panicking and so I grabbed Elphaba to try and drag her back.
For about five minutes, I couldn't feel my legs, everything was purple/blue/gray, and my hands were tingling. The reasons I wasn't MORE hurt was because Elphaba is my ancestor, and the attack wasn't meant for me.
Elphaba's skin keeps switching between green and "normal" (the actual shade ranges from very pale to a dark tan). Normal skin-color seems to connate to "sane/happy," and... well, I've only seen her with normal skin for a few moments at a time before it flickers back to green.
Hanschen said that there's a Trism-equivalent floating around somewhere (Trism being Liir's unrequited-love-interest in the books), and that he doesn't want to see him yet. To the point where Hanschen actively keeps me from saying the name too often, because it might call him over.
This is getting extremely weird because I only have a vague knowledge of The Wicked Years series. I know the general plot, most characters' names, and that it's depressing as hell, but I have yet to read it because I have no money and I'm not sure I want to read a shaggy-dog story (however well-written, because I do like Gregory Maguire's style).
-----
Sunday's group meeting was interesting; the medicine-woman told me that I should come to an ecstatic dance meet-up where she and her family had a fantastic time. It's around the last Sunday of the month, and we're probably going to go as a group (which I enjoy because it's just so much more fun to watch ). Even if people don't/can't dance (or lack the stamina for three hours of it), there's an altar where people can meditate or take a break.
So there were only three people in the circle besides the medicine-woman: Me, another member, and a new woman. She was wearing an all-red outfit with (mostly) black running shoes, and I couldn't quite figure out why the outfit pulled at me so much because then we started the journey.
The question itself was something like, "Ask Spirit/Ancestors to remind you of your identities." What surprised me was that the ancestors all went ":DDDD" and kept shoving past each other, trying to talk all at once. They don't do that anymore, especially when the medicine-woman is there to keep things in check, and it totally put my plans to ask about Elphaba on hold. So I'm like, "Argh, calm down," and I just listened while the other member started talking about her writing, which deals with child abuse (hers is a novel).
I mentioned how I've been working on my modern update of Donkeyskin for our college project, which the gods had started sending me bits of the scenes/script early on. When I mentioned that Aine told me that the decision to actually write it down was entirely mine, the medicine-woman agreed and told me that we always have a choice to do what Spirit asks of us, even if we don't think so.
And then the new woman mentioned that she'd originally been planning to avoid this subject entirely, because she'd already gone through abuse and written/talked/thought about it enough. Which led to her own discussion of animal totems, since she'd been seeing owls for a while and "their eyes terrify me." The medicine-woman told her to look them up because animals that scare us are especially likely to teach us something we need.
So she mentioned that she was wearing red today because she loves tigers, and she wants to get to know them more because her writing-voice tends to give off tiger-vibes, but she can't quite figure out why. The Tiger who's been dropping in on me whenever he feels like it promptly laughed at me. So I mentioned that tigers are the king of beasts in Asia and that in my experiences, tigers do have extremely masculine and powerful energy, which might be why she's so drawn to them. (The medicine-woman also said that tigers do have a feminine/nurturing aspect as well, and my experiences might not match up with the other woman's.)
And suddenly Fox went in going "EEEEEEE RED," and he started jabbing me about the new woman's clothing until I realized that "red outfit plus black shoes" is pretty much a fox's coloring. So I mentioned how Fox tends to drop into my meditation, do something weird/irrelevant, and then a few days/weeks later I finally realize what it means in my life and how it can help me out.
Also, we'd been talking about ecstatic dance at the start of the meeting. That's very much a Fox subject.
I also remember that a few days ago, Fox finally did something that makes sense. I was getting spirit-overloaded again and I couldn't sleep even with Moritz's help, so Fox came into my meditation-room, curled up around the bed, and shut the noise out.
So that was even more coincidence than usual in our group meeting, and I wonder if it's because Samhain is in a week. I'll send the medicine-woman an email about what the Tiger said about how Fox's ability to "see everything at once" makes him look crazy, because I keep running through that conversation in my head lately.
-----
Speaking of the script, one of the theater companies in Berkeley LOVES our idea and in a couple of years, they want us to perform it on their stage as a summer deal. Which means I want to graduate on time even MORE than I already do, and I only have about four or five classes left to fulfill my degree anyway. (Even with dropping my sociology class. I hope it isn't going to work out too badly, but when I can't afford the book and checking it out two hours a day isn't NEARLY enough for the giant three-hour discussion, I knew at the back of my head that I wouldn't get more than a D no matter how hard I tried.)