Well, Don, I was at home in Tonawanda, but then Hitler started this whole thing, so now I'm here.
THIS WEEK IT'S TIME FOR A THREESOME!
Muck, Penkala and Malarkey
Each of their names has a K in it. It's fate that they are BFFs.
These guys are the BoB OT3. Well, with the exception of Winnix/Harry, which is the truest OT3 to ever OT3, but no-one and nothing can compare to them. These guys bring the lulz, though. And spoons.
MASSIVELY EPIC BOB PICSPAM PART SIX: MUCK, PENKALA AND MALARKEY
(or, OMG THAT'S THE TRICKSTER FROM SPN AND THE GINGER ONE FROM ER!! And someone else)
We meet the first part of our OT3 at Tocca, where he is affectionately introduced to us as Private Bullshit. Like everyone else in this scene, he looks weird and pink.
OT3 Part Two we meet in the bar, encouraging Bill's alcoholism and dangerous pin-drinking activities. Part Three we'll meet...later.
Skip has this weird way of smiling where it looks like he has no teeth, like he's this old dude who's taken his dentures out. It makes all his smiling, and laughing, and hell, his TALKING extra-lulzy for me. I always crack up.
Like every other badass, Skip smokes. It's hot. I hate this show for breaking down my smoking hatred barrier, damnit. Also, because Malark is a ginger he looks gooooooooood in the fatigues, heh.
So they're off on their trip to Europe, and Malark is a bit of a douche and is teasing all the POWs and pulling monkey faces and all that.
And hot Yankee German is not amused, heh. He just glowers at Malark.
So they become *~special war friends~* and start swapping stories and stuff and we forgive Malark for being a bit of a douche there at the beginning because now he's all nice and friendly,
Not to mention totally naive, heh. He's all "LET'S CATCH UP AFTER THE WAR FOR A BEER, K?" and hot Yankee German's like ".......suuuuure. That'll happen."
And Malark is made all sad by Speirs's off-camera badassery and hot Yankee German is no more :(
So, despite just having made friends with hot Yankee German, Malark is then all "I VOLUNTEER TO GO KILL MORE GERMANSSSSSSSSSSSS"
But we find out that all he really wants is a fucking Luger. OMG that fucking Luger obsession that he and Hoob have, it pisses me off so much! BECAUSE IT KILLS HOOB. DAMN LUGERS.
And then we finally meet the last of our OT3, Penk!! He's doing things with this tongue. Skip is in the background squeezing cheese from a tube into his mouth. Neither of them are helping me to get over my BoB oral fixation.
But yeah, I love this scene. They all look super-hot against the green background, and it's all sunny and shiny.
And Skip's stubble is all golden, OMG. I'm crushing on the Trickster from Supernatural. And Penk is all "LOL WAT? SKIP WAS ON SUPERNATURAL?"
And so Malark is all "SUPERNATURAL? ISN'T THAT THE SHOW WITH THE HOT BROTHERS?" And Penk is like (imagine a conspiratorial whisper here, guys) "OMG I've heard that they're 'special' friends"
And Skip is like "SPE-WHAT?" And then he gets all verklempt for missing out on all the action,
And he's like "I'M GONNA KILL MY AGENT"
But poor Penk is still struck by the mental image of the Winchesters being 'special' friends.
And Malark is like "OH I GET IT. THEY'RE 'SPECIAL' FRIENDS LIKE ME AND MY HOT YANKEE GERMAN FRIEND". Penk and Skip: "...................................."
So back in England, Malark and More are hooning through the countryside, and is it drink-driving if you're in the sidecar?
And then we see Tab, who comes back after the unfortuate bayonetting incident, and we're like "HEY TAB!!!!1!!" Except that sometimes Tab looks a little 'special' himself, if you know what I mean? He's either really hot, or kinda *~speshul~* heee. Yeah. ILU TAB. I will discussing this matter further in my Tabspam.
So then Malark goes and hits on one of the cute drycleaning ladies, and i kind of love that woman. She's adorable. Can you imagine having all those delicious men coming into your store? I kind of wish I was in Albourne 1944, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. And then the boys go and drink together. And it's so damn hard to get a cap with all three boys in it, I swear to God.
So then they have to prepare for 'Market Garden', and Skip is all 'LISTENING INTENTLY', whereas Malark is all "HMMM, MEH"
And Penk is just giving me dirty thoughts, tbh.
So then they go and watch people shooting stuff and the crazy chaplain running about and being all noble and heroic and stuff.
And then we have the most adorable of adorable background scenes ever seen (spooooooooon!). Although TBH I don't know how sanitary behind Penk's ear is, Skip...
Anyway, then Malark acts all pimp and flashes about his cash,
And Skip is all "I WILL NOT BE BOUGHT SO EASILY, MISTER" and Malark is all :O
AND THEN THE HINKEL SCENE. OMG THE HINKEL SCENE. Malark and Skip just crack me up, omg, it's one of the (very) few rays of sunshine in Bastogne. BASK IN ITS GLORY. Seriously, I'm sitting here giggling at Skip's face. EVERY TIME.
So then the three of them are huddled in their foxhole sharing a smoke from Jolly Old Saint Luz, and they are being very adorable and kind of slashy (even though I totally don't slash them),
And I'd be tempted to say that they are the foxhole OT3, except that Roe/Babe/Spina are OBVIOUSLY the holders of that title, hahahaha ♥
And then Malark is everyone's bitch for a day, and it is lulzy,
And 'The Breaking Point' is looking like a lovely episode,
Because we're getting some more lovely OT3 foxhole shenanigans (shhh I totally know Bill is in there with them but whatever)
And Penk and Skip are particularly adorable,
AND THEIR ADORABLENESS IS CAPTURED ON FILM TO ACT AS A VERY PERSUASIVE RECRUITMENT DEVICE FOR THE PARAS XD
And then we have another happy, adorable little scene,
Where Skip leads the newbie around and tells lulzy stories about how everyone gets shot in their arse,
AND THEY'RE ALL HAVING SUCH A GOOD TIME! THIS IS THE HAPPIEST EPISODE EVER!!!
Except no. OMG. It's still kind of shocking when this happens. THEY JUST DISAPPEAR ;________;
And then Malark sinks into his massively epic emo cycle,
Which I will not begrudge him, because OMG the OT3 is broken up and he's left all alone in the cold :(
And he goes and like, reads love poetry to Buck, who just turns his back on Malark, and everyone is very sad and emo and depressed, and we see ghost!Skip in the church of incredibly flattering lighting for the last time, and it is traumatic :(
And now Malark is all extra sad (ALSO HEY EMO BABE AND GRANT!!!), and for the person that asked for it in my Webgott spam, here's the 'Web humping the ground' cap again, except in the background it also has th super special 'guy taking a dump' as an added extra!!
UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH weeny mini Tom Hanks (WTH) comes and visits, and I always go a little googly-eyed at how skinny Malark is in this scene,
But he treats WTH with the respect he deserves, and his 'BITCH PLZ I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS GUY' expression in that first cap is magnificent.
And because Donnie is like everyone's friendly mother in this show he is all adorable and caring and whispers secret advice in Malark's ear,
Which obviously amounted to 'TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT AND SHOW US YOUR GUNS PLEASE'
BTW I get really pissed in this scene that we don't see anyone else in the buff except for fug McClung. GRANT AND BABE AND LIEBGOTT WERE ALL SHOWERING AT THIS TIME. WHY CAN I NOT SEE THEM NAKED???? MORE GRATUITOUS NUDITY PLEASE, HBO.
But then they all get out of the cold and the danger, and the emoness slowly fades away for Malark (I think his emoness was contained within his beard or something), and they get to Austria and he is all "I AM GOING TO FRATERNIZE UNTIL MY JOHNSON FALLS OFF LOL"
And then he runs up hills to loot Hitler's stuff and hunt deer and stuff, and is still all happy,
Yet somehow he turns ultra-pale in spite of the fact that he's in the sun all the time, and his lips freak me out in that second cap because they are WHITE. And as per usual Skinny tradition, Skinny is in the background, making lulzy faces. ILU SKINNY.
And then we say our goodbyes to Malark, which kind of sucks, because we don't get to see him in the baseball scene where everyone fucking sizzles with hotness in their white shirts :(
But we do get to see him (along with the rest of the world) totally fangirling Winters, because HOW FUCKING HOT DOES WINTERS LOOK IN THIS SCENE???? And it's fitting that Malark's last scene has the two out of the show's three lovely, LOVELY gingers in it. This show gives me a ginger fetish, NGL.
AND THEN WE SEE RL MALARK!! AND HE IS ADORABLE!!!! I LOVE HIS HAIR (apparently it's blonde in RL?)
AND I GET ALL HAPPY BECAUSE HE'S STILL ALIVE AND FIT AND HEALTHY AND EVERYTHING!! ♥
Part One (the epically fucked-up love of Webster and Liebgott)
Part Two (Speirs, the badassest badass to ever badass)
Part Three (Christenson and Grant, hot but criminally underused)
Part Four (George Luzzzzzz and the giant slash debacle)
Part Five (Mr CAPSLOCK Band of Brothers, Gonorrhoea)
ALSO HEY r0knr0ll!!!! GUESS WHAT? I WATCHED EPISODE ONE OF 'GENERATION KILL'
IN AN ENTIRELY FORSEEABLE OUTCOME, I FUCKING LOVED IT.
But seriously, how could I not love it? THERE ARE TWO DEVASTATINGLY GORGEOUS BLONDE MEN. BLONDE MARINES. I'm already dying with love for this show. Like with my first viewing of 'Currahee', I'm still a little confused, I know some of the characters by name already but some are just a faceless blur, lol. But here are my initial thoughts. Plus a few pictures.
SO OK JESUS FIRST AND MOST IMPORTANTLY THE COMBINED HOTNESS OF FICK AND COLBERT IS TOO MUCH FOR ME TO HANDLE IN ONE SHOW. OMG.
They haven't really had enough scenes together yet for me to be properly slashing them, but together, or separately, THEY ARE HOT. OMG.
FIRST THEN, FICK. OMG FICK. I THINK I ALMOST FIND HIM HOTTER THAN ASKARS, IF THAT IS POSSIBLE.
I totally see what you were saying about the green eyes, NOMNOMNOM, BUT ALSO HIS LIPS. OR HIS MOUTH AREA IN GENERAL. Ooooooooh shitdamn yes. What a mature little passage that was that I just wrote, hahaha.
Also in a floppy hat he looks about twelve. I FEEL BAD FOR PERVING AT TIMES LIKE THIS.
But he looks extra fly in the helmet. Mmmm. FICK ILU. YOU ARE A CHILD AND YOU ARE IN CHARGE.
Also whoops I just read through this a day later and realised that I had been calling him 'Fisk'. I FEEL TERRIBLE.
Now HEY ASKARS!!!!! Colbert is epically, massively hot in this show.
And TBH it makes me kind of sad to see his hotness in GK, because it just proves how much said hotness has been downgraded in True Blood :(
But yeah, I want to lick his neck. Ahem.
OMG FRUITY RUDY. I can't believe he's a real person, LMFAO. I think it's only appropriate that RL Rudy plays show Rudy, because HE IS FUCKING NUTS AND I LOVE IT. Also Photobucket is totally going to take this picture down, :(
"IT'S NOT GAY IF YOU FIND RUDY HOT"
I also give a big thumbs up to all the singing in this show, ahahahaha. Although singing Avril Lavigne, Ray? OH COME ON.
Also DAMN it's good to have Tobias Beecher on my screen again. Beecher + Keller 4EVA.
I like Godfather, pretty much because he was listening to the cricket on the radio, ahahaha. I did a mini-flail when I heard the name 'Glenn McGrath' on HBO. A+ researching, guys.
And Trombley, OMG, he's going to go nuts, isn't he? He's got a psycho just bubbling under the surface, he freaks me out. But I kind of like him for it. And the guy playing him, if he isn't a repressed psycho, he's doing a good job of playing one. Nice work.
OK, finally, as for Ray, I'm kind of on the fence as to whether he is awesome or annoying. I think I'm tipping over into the awesome camp, tbh. I mean, Colbert mostly loves and tolerates his bullshit, AND I TRUST ASKARS'S JUDGEMENT. And I kind of loved this bit....
ahahahaha the shit that comes out of his mouth, high or sober, cracks me up. When he was yelling at the Iraqi for being in his pyjamas at ten'o'clock in the morning, LMFAO I just about died. Yeah. I think I'm in the 'Ray is awesome' camp for now.
And I just have to post that little speech he made about the letters, OMG it was horrible but I laughed my arse off:
Dear Frederick, thank you for your nice letter. But I'm actually a US Marine who was born to kill, where you have clearly mistaken me for some sort-of wine sipping communist dick suck. And although peace probably appeals to tree-loving-bisexuals like you and your parents, I happen to be a death-dealing, blood-crazed warrior who wakes up everyday just hoping for the chance to dismember my enemies and defile their civilizations. Peace sucks a hairy asshole Freddie, war is the mother-fucking answer.
OMG ♥
I want to marathon the other six episodes but I have a lot of crap to do tomorrow, so I might have to contain myself, heh. BUT THIS SHOW IS AWESOME. TY ALL FOR TELLING ME TO WATCH IT ♥