Enjoy the Silence
Tonight I decided to go for a walk for about an hour. After I made it back, I realized that the entire time I walked almost as fast as I could. I must have wanted to walk around to relax and enjoy the silence. So walking fast only turned it into an uncomfortable task. If it became uncomfortable, why didn't I just turn back sooner? It's stupid to analyze this, I know...
It could be a habit that I picked up from work. When I'm working I'm almost running the entire time. I'm always in a hurry at work. In fact, there is never a reason for me to be in a rush at work, but I always seem to be. So why do I put myself in a rush? Making myself hurry so much just makes me feel stressed out.
What do I do to relax aside from walking? I can't just sit. I can sit if I'm doing something, but just sitting by myself is out of the question. I went to have a cigarette on my porch the other day. I figured it would be nice to unwind. I smoked the cigarette as fast as I could and got up.
Am I stressed out? I think I might be. What's my release? Apparently when I try to relax it backfires. Which brings me back to why I'm analyzing all this walking fast bullshit. Why can't I just stop for a second?
I sound like a freak. But I don't know if I would have known any of this about myself if I didn't just rant about it. I took a deep breath and now I feel good. I need to do this more often.
Why can't I just use this journal like everybody else and talk about what I did today?
It could be a habit that I picked up from work. When I'm working I'm almost running the entire time. I'm always in a hurry at work. In fact, there is never a reason for me to be in a rush at work, but I always seem to be. So why do I put myself in a rush? Making myself hurry so much just makes me feel stressed out.
What do I do to relax aside from walking? I can't just sit. I can sit if I'm doing something, but just sitting by myself is out of the question. I went to have a cigarette on my porch the other day. I figured it would be nice to unwind. I smoked the cigarette as fast as I could and got up.
Am I stressed out? I think I might be. What's my release? Apparently when I try to relax it backfires. Which brings me back to why I'm analyzing all this walking fast bullshit. Why can't I just stop for a second?
I sound like a freak. But I don't know if I would have known any of this about myself if I didn't just rant about it. I took a deep breath and now I feel good. I need to do this more often.
Why can't I just use this journal like everybody else and talk about what I did today?