You probably couldn't see through the lights (for teddyescher) [2/5]

[critcapmods]

Jongdae wakes up in the studio with a throbbing pain in his cheek and something that feels a lot like keyboard imprints on his skin. He glances at the clock of his laptop - 8 p.m., still too much time until he has to be in the club to catch Joonmyun's performance. He stands from his seat, anyway, packing his laptop and heading out of the studio. His hair sticks to his forehead, and he brushes his bangs away with the back of his hand, automatically smiling when a few trainees greet him in the hallway.

He shakes his free arm on his way out to his parking space. Sometimes he can't tell which skin he's wearing, if he's wearing anything at all.

Seeing a gig at ZZYZX means standing with at least fifty more people in an open space, not a table or chair in sight. It's more convenient to watch from the second floor where there's nothing to obstruct the view, but Jongdae always prefers doing things the hard way and making eye contact with the performer. He weaves through the slowly thickening crowd, berating himself a little at his choice of clothes - he'd dropped by his place earlier to leave his laptop and to change into clothes more befitting of the place. The patrons of ZZYZX are more fashion-conscious than most, after all, and a muscle shirt plus bright yellow pants simply won't make the cut.

He isn't sure if Joonmyun's actually going up first, but he secures himself a good enough view from just beyond the barrier, hands on the railing as people pass behind him, elbows digging into his back. Not getting a drink at once was a wise decision; he doesn't want to waste money on a drink that can potentially get knocked off his hands a minute into the set.

The spotlight goes out abruptly, and the blue light all around him dims. Jongdae's vision isn't the clearest, but he can identify the figure in the dark slowly making its way up the stairs. The lighting's soft enough to not wash Joonmyun out this time, and the blue hue kind of makes his hair sparkle. Fairies and their magic dust, a voice at the back of his mind says, and he leans forward, resting his chin on his hands.

Joonmyun spots him not too long after and gives him a curt nod. He's dressed not much differently today - he's wearing a patterned blazer, and there's still the classic white polo underneath. His legs look much longer in his dark, skin-tight jeans, and he's wearing bright red rubber shoes. If this is Joonmyun's definition of fashion, then he and Jongdae have to talk about that, too; Jonghyun had always said that it was the ultimate weakness of Jongdae's team, the lack of good taste in matching fashion pieces.

He unbuttons his polo - two buttons, where it's much easier to breathe and not feel his chest pop out. Joonmyun strums his guitar a few times, an odd sort of harmony in the way he tunes his guitar. "I call this the Tuning Song," he says into the mic, eyes fixed on Jongdae as he does so. The crowd erupts into collective laughter - some light, some a bit louder than the usual. It's a nice melody, one that soothes the muscles of Jongdae's shoulders.

A pluck, a long strum, then another pluck. The spotlight intensifies, and Jongdae sees Joonmyun squinting. Joonmyun combs through his hair before getting his hands back on the guitar then starts plucking, only lightly at first.

Joonmyun starts with a series of soft plucking this time, adding another layer after eight counts, one heavier than the previous. Jongdae can't help but be drawn to Joonmyun's fingers, long and slender, and their little movements, even smaller than Joonmyun's frame. Jongdae blinks a few times at the sound of Joonmyun tapping his guitar lightly and, after another eight counts, Joonmyun's voice finally comes in.

He sounds different tonight - softer, more vulnerable. Joonmyun didn't play this song last night, and Jongdae's only half-thankful that he hasn't; the other half of him is still stuck in the intro, where Joonmyun's voice hasn't come in yet. The song is soft, and Joonmyun's voice sounds so tender and soulful when the song hits the chorus. The sound of the instruments fades under just a little, making Joonmyun's voice stand out all the more. The sweet, honeyed tone slips from his lips as he tilts his head, lips too close now to the microphone. Keep six inches between your lips and mic, Jongdae can hear a voice at the back of his mind say, but Joonmyun's voice soars high above any other sound at the moment, and Jongdae really can't be bothered to tear his attention from Joonmyun - standing still, singing in the pitch he's most comfortable in, hitting each and every single note perfectly.

Then there's the regular strumming again. Joonmyun's tapping his foot. Jongdae is, too, despite the lack of space. He scowls when he almost jams his foot into the tiny platform separating the stage from the railing.

His mind drifts into a memory of Hongdae, one fine day at Bbang, an image of a small Joonmyun being swallowed by the intimidating presence of a piano larger than him, a Joonmyun singing one Vienna Teng song after another. Joonmyun has grown - if he sang Shine or Harbor now, he'd probably sound better. But stick to the guitar, another voice in Jongdae's mind says. Percussion will drown out your voice; the strings will help you bring out your voice more.

Joonmyun hits a particularly difficult note for the bridge, one that Jongdae can't even imagine himself singing because maintaining that tone will make him sound whiny, scratchy. Joonmyun seems unfazed, though, pressing on with the song with his eyes open, eyebrows furrowed. His eyes are far more expressive that they should be, and he looks a bit funny with that worried look on his face that goes completely off-track from the message of the song. There's a long note somewhere towards the end of the bridge, just before the chorus, a run where Joonmyun does four key changes - all high ones, notes that bring out the real power of his voice. His voice trails off just in time for the guitar to come in, but only for a while - Joonmyun goes on without the instrumentals for a while, and the guitar comes in again only halfway through the last chorus.

Joonmyun ends with a soft you are the only one, pulling away from the microphone as he plays the last few notes of the song.

The crowd erupts into cheers, some even into shrill whistles that almost startle Joonmyun, now wide-eyed, a grin stretched across his lips. His blazer looks too big on him from where Jongdae is, but then the stage is so much bigger here than it was in Blue Moon. If Joonmyun could just shine a bit more, then he'd be a better fit on stage. Or maybe he just needs to lose the light clothing and go for all black; at least, then, Jongdae won't have to squint too hard to see him.

A band comes to join Joonmyun for five songs, and Joonmyun has to draw the microphone way too close to his lips when he sings. The crowd's clapping harder now, in the air, some bottles and glasses of alcohol raised as if in one big toast. Jongdae follows suit, an imaginary glass in the air, and he catches sight of Joonmyun looking at him silly. He makes a mental note to tell Joonmyun to never lose his focus - don't let anything distract you, not even my beautiful face.

He takes note of the veins along Joonmyun's neck, the ones that reach to the underside of his jaw. The furrow of Joonmyun's eyebrows is a constant presence; what concerns Jongdae more at the moment is the way Joonmyun's left hand shakes as it rests on his guitar.

Joonmyun manages to pull off an Alex Vargas song at the very end, performing a more solemn rendition of Wasteland. The loop pedal to Joonmyun's right finally sees its screentime after being cast aside for too long, and the crowd immediately cheers when Joonmyun wraps his hand around the green mic stand. There's the hint of a smile tugging at the corners of Joonmyun's lips, more relaxed despite Joonmyun squinting hard. There's a patch of red on his neck, then his arms - Jongdae knows how that feels, being under public scrutiny for extended periods of time. He knows the way red light stings the skin after being exposed to it for too long.

He kind of misses it.

The set wraps up in under an hour, and the crowd is as generous with cheers as ever - even the patrons at the second floor are clapping. Someone throws something that looks like a square piece of paper at Joonmyun's feet, and then there are a couple of cards, and Joonmyun just laughs, teeth bared and glinting in the harsh stage lights. He slips from the spotlight after a while, when the applause dies down, and Jongdae waves at Joonmyun, thumb pointing back at the bar as he mouths, I'm getting crushed here; I'll see you in the back.

Jongdae's already about a quarter into his drink when Joonmyun resurfaces, beads of sweat rolling down the outline of his face. His hair sticks to his forehead, and his make-up has caught on the collar of his polo. "You really have to do something about this." Jongdae leans in tentatively, patting the tuft of hair, and Joonmyun only laughs lightly in response.

"You said no alcohol 'til we get the assessment done, sonsaengnim," Joonmyun says. Jongdae gestures for the bartender to come closer, and Joonmyun keeps his eyes fixed on Jongdae, like he's looking for something that Jongdae has sworn not to surrender. "How was it?"

"Give him a gin tonic," Jongdae whisper to the bartender. He bites the inside of his cheek when he turns to Joonmyun whose gaze is more scrutinizing that ever. He can feel his face go hot, but his tolerance has never been this bad. There's a pause, then he feels his stomach grumbling. There's the culprit. "I liked last night's set better, song selection-wise, but you sound much more relaxed with the songs you've picked for the performance."

"Ah." Joonmyun shifts in his seat, moving closer. His knees bump into Jongdae's, and he mumbles a small apology before continuining, "It's a set I've been performing for a while now. Kind of like my fallback for when I'm not able to prepare."

"There's nothing wrong with having choice safe songs," Jongdae replies, taking a long sip of his drink. He holds his glass by the mouth, tilting it so that the liquid swirls. The ice has almost melted. It's not as cold as it should be in this part of the club, but then it's the middle of summer - just shifting in his seat makes him sweat. "I really loved the last one, by the way. Never thought an Alex Vargas song would have sounded good in your tone."

Joonmyun chuckles, but abruptly gets cut when his drink arrives. He gives the bartender a curt now and takes a long sip - it's been at least fifteen minutes since he's last sung a song, so Jongdae shouldn't be thinking of grabbing Joonmyun by the wrist and making him set his glass down on the counter. "I know that's supposed to be a compliment, but I can't help but think otherwise."

Jongdae laughs a little. "Your voice doesn't have that… natural gravel to it, but you still sang the song really well. So!" He raises his glass, tilting it a little in Joonmyun's direction. "Let's drink to that?"

Joonmyun follows suit. The clinks of their glasses are a nice break from the heavy beats a few meters away.

"I really hate noisy places," Joonmyun says after a while, his voice dissolving into the soft sound of bubbles popping as he takes a sip of his drink. Jongdae gives him a long look. He's pegged Joonmyun as the type who can live with a lot of things he doesn't quite feel comfortable with - standing on stage in front of a lof of people, all eyes on him as he builds a song in front of everyone. A blazer a bit too big on him, tapering off the shoulders, making him looking like a student lost in a club in Gangnam. The way he winces a little everytime he takes a sip of his gin tonic. Joonmyun hasn't spoken about the drink yet, not in the ten minutes that he's been drinking it, so Jongdae just lets him down the alcohol, one sip after another, until Joonmyun chugs down the rest of it in one big gulp.

"I like being in noisy places sometimes," Jongdae replies, then pushes the drink menu in Joonmyun's direction. "Pick anything. Reward for doing well tonight."

"I was beginning to think you'd confined me to drinking just gin tonic tonight." Joonmyun runs his finger along the list, a small smile on his lips as his eyes move up and down. Up close, with just a few inches between them, Joonmyun looks a bit taller than before. His bangs fall over his eyes, and Jongdae has to to cock his head to get the slightest glimpse of Joonmyun's eyes. "I'll go with a classic. Whiskey on the rocks?"

Jongdae looks over his shoulder, flashing one thumb up as he says, "I'll have whatever he's having." He straightens his spine when he turns back to Joonmyun who has now found something interesting on the menu, chuckling at whatever he's pointing. "What are you-"

"Can you please give me a blowjob?" Joonmyun says in a tiny, tiny voice, almost so screechy that it makes Jongdae wince. "I'm sorry, I'm being childish. This just-" Choked laughter, then Joonmyun presses the back of his hand to his lips. "It gets me all the fucking time."

Jongdae waits for Joonmyun to realize that he has just cursed in front of someone who's at least a decade older than him, waits for a bright pink flush to crawl up Joonmyun's neck, painting his face, then reach up to the tips of his ears as he giggles until he catches his breath again, but to no avail - Joonmyun isn't drunk, just a bit giggly. Maybe he's high on the rush of performing on stage, the sound of people's collective cheering intoxicating him. Maybe it's the gin tonic talking, but then Joonmyun has been doing gigs for a while already; he should be holding his alcohol better now. But then Jongdae barely knows anything about Joonmyun beyond his soft singing voice and melodious speaking tone, his bright blond hair that washes him out and shields his eyes from the public, from Jongdae's own.

"Let's get a blowjob after this, then?" Jongdae teases, and Joonmyun's laughter takes a sharp rise, then an equally abrupt dip as he covers his mouth with his hand. His shoulders are shaking and Jongdae feels that the blazer might fall off of one side at some point, or maybe Joonmyun might topple over, tiny frame not being able to hold all the laughter in, but all his thoughts dissolve into a thick blanket of white noise as Joonmyun lays a hand flat on his thigh - for balance, in agreement, or maybe just to keep himself in check, Jongdae can't tell.

The heat outside hasn't dissipated much when they leave the club, but it's easier to breathe here with all the space and the blowing winds. The rain isn't supposed to be pouring down until the end of the week, but Jongdae quite likes this - the meeting of heat and cold at two in the morning, Joonmyun's eyes fixed on every step he takes as they walk down the street, up until they reach a curb.

"I'll just take a cab from here," Joonmyun says after a while, finally looking up. The parting of his hair is all messed up, and wind plays with it all the more. Jongdae digs his hands deeper into his pockets; maybe he should be preparing his cardigans if he's going to be out until midnight more frequently. Joonmyun stretches an arm out, waving at the taxi that's fast approaching, and he looks over his shoulder taking a step closer to the edge of the curb. "Thanks for coming, sonsaengnim. Maybe next time I'll do a mix of the safe set and the not-as-safe one."

Jongdae snorts, but it sounds more like a scowl than anything else. His lips are chapped; second day in a row that he's had too much alcohol. His lips will be hating him come morning. "Just call me hyung, please. Sonsaengnim's a mouthful." He bends his knees, reaching over to give Joonmyun's hair a light pat, one that tousles his hair all the more but doesn't leave quite enough static for Joonmyun's hair to hold onto Jongdae's skin. "And try another Alex Vargas next time. How does Winter Snow sound?"

"I'll try to remember everything you're saying right now in the morning." Joonmyun ducks and slips inside the cab, looking up at Jongdae before closing the door. "But yes - thanks a lot, hyung. It feels nice to know that I'm sort of doing something right, coming from an expert."

Jongdae parts his lips, poised to speak, but the cab drives off even before he can get a word out. The opening notes of Winter Snow play in his mind, and he tries to match Joonmyun's voice with the song - he'd fast forward to the higher notes, but he can't think nor sing out of sequence today.

He locks his arms behind his back, stretching, then turns around, back in the direction that they came from. He can rethink recommending an Alex Vargas song to Joonmyun. Tomorrow, he thinks, maybe even whispers loud enough for his own ears to catch, and digs his hands into his pocket, the first few chords of Joonmyun's first song playing in his ear as he walks back home.

Jongdae wakes up with a jolt, eyes opening wide as a violent breath of life fills his lungs. He looks around him, but there's nothing but an expanse of white and the scent of fresh bedsheets filling his sense. He turns over, lying on his back now, and looks around. The sun's up high already, and the wall clock reads 10:15. There's nothing but a notification for a text, a KKT message, and a software update on the top dock of his phone. The room is painfully quiet again.

He unlocks his phone, checking the notifications, and raises an eyebrow at Joonmyun's message - home c: thanks for tonight, sonsaengnim!, quickly followed by a sorry, i meant hyung. rest well! hope you won't have a hangover tomorrow c: Jongdae stares at the tiny smiley at the end of the message, and is suddenly grateful that he doesn't have Joonmyun on KKT - Joonmyun sounds exactly like the type of person who'd wage a sticker war against him, abusing all of the bunny stickers from different sets.

hey, thanks for checking. i'm gud. He hits send all too early, suddenly aware that the airconditioning's turned up way too high. He'd been so conked out the past two nights that he hadn't been getting up in the middle of the night to adjust the temperature. He can hear Taeyeon telling him, you've been in that place for the past three years and yet you haven't discovered the right setting yet? It's hard to explain that a little change can be exciting at times, even with the smallest of things. And yes, even at the expense of skin suffering from the intense cold.

*gud
good
GOOD dammit

lol hyung. good morning. your typos are going to cost you credits. you have KKT?

Oh boy, a voice at the back of Jongdae's mind says - voices, ones that sound like Boa, Taeyeon, Jonghyun, and Baekhyun harmonizing in his ear at ten in the morning. He rests his phone face down on the bed and get up, pushing down the weird sensation at the pit of his stomach. It's morning sickness, probably; he's never been a fan of the sun.

The plan is to fight the hunger until he can't anymore, because his body's found that perfect spot on his bed again that lulls him back into a thirty-minute sleep. Somewhere between a second attempt at rousing himself from sleep and actually deciding that he can't win the battle between mind and stomach, he reaches for his phone, types up whatever reply to Joonmyun, and soon he finds himself in a KKT conversation with Joonmyun.

Brunch sees him in Hongdae, the hour-long drive aggravating his hunger all the more, but he pushes this at the back of his throat, set on having his first meal at Organic and not pulling over somewhere nearer. The KKT notification tone provides an added beat to the songs playing on his radio - today, he's got Walk the Moon songs loaded, and he quietly berates the industry not giving the band a break despite the quality of material that they churn out. At one point, just as the traffic light turns red, he snatches his phone from the empty seat beside him and types in the chat window, do you know walk the moon? Joonmyun replies with a plethora of exclamation points, then a much calmer message that says, i want! i want! is still my favorite EP from them.

Jongdae may have jammed his foot into the brake in response. Even Jonghyun, whose taste in music is far more diverse than Jongdae's, has never heard of Walk the Moon.

The trip to the company is much more bearable after the good meal, and somewhere along the way, halfway through Jongdae switching to Sum 41 for something that will keep him awake throughout a drive on a warm afternoon, Joonmyun makes a passing mention of +44, but isn't able to keep it together as he goes on about seeing the band live once, in a small event in one club. Just a one-time thing, sadly, Joonmyun even says, and Jongdae can almost hear the sudden dip from Joonmyun sweet high note to the low ones that put so much strain on Joonmyun's vocal chords. He flicks the turn light on, bobs his head to the music, and thinks about the way Joonmyun has looked so small last night, when Jongdae had put him in a cab.

On the radio, +44 keeps singing, And now I can't stop thinking about it, all you people at the top don't know nothing about it.

Tonight, it's Taeyeon who drags him out of the studio and into a club without any reason. "I just need to hear something else," she'd said, and her even make-up couldn't hide the tiny pimples lined along her cheek anymore. He'd contemplated on asking why it hadn't been Jonghyun, instead, or maybe Boa - he wasn't the best person to talk to when it came to nail polish chipping off, after all, but Taeyeon's grip on his wrist was so tight, and KKT has fallen into a dry spell after Joonmyun said he had work to do, but I'll check out rixton when i get home! promise! Insert a cute white sticker here with the character sticking one thumb up.

"Taking your whiskey neat? What's up?"

Taeyeon's usually the one who pushes for reserving a table for themselves whenever they hit the club, but today they're at the bar, elbows on the counter as they both swirl the liquid in their glasses. "The new song's driving me crazy. I'm not feeling it," she confesses, then pauses to take a sip. There's a sharp intake of breath before she continues, "It's not me, and I can't afford to not be me at this age. I mean-"

"Still?" Jongdae asks, but it comes out more like a question. He bumps his shoulder into Taeyeon's own when Taeyeon doesn't answer, and Taeyeon makes a small sound of protest. She leans in, anyway, but moves back to her original position, spine snapping straight like she's suddenly too aware of everything, like people might snap photos of them being a bit too chummy in a club. Kim Jongdae and Kim Taeyeon: dating? is the most probable title of the news article the media can come up with. The crazy ones will call it The Kim Jongdae and Kim Taeyeon Dating Scandal. Jongdae puts his weight on his left arm, giving Taeyeon some space, and he sees the gradual fall of her shoulders. "You've got to talk to them about it."

"I like the track you made for me," Taeyeon says after a while, a few more sips from when she'd last spoken up. "Maybe it's because you know my voice, because you actually understand how it works."

Jongdae laughs a little, tempted to reach over to ruffle her hair, but he doesn't. Instead, he grips his glass tight, takes another sip before saying, "Hey, I have finished second for the past two years, haven't I?"

"If you're so good, then you should've won first place."

"I don't have Jonghyun's charms," is all that Jongdae says in reply.

"Ah. Jonghyunnie." Her shoulders slump forward. Her glass is empty now, and Jongdae gestures at the bartender to order another whiskey for himself and margarita for Taeyeon. He waits for Taeyeon to retort, but she still has her head hung low, like she's studying her nails without any light source. "There you go; at least there's something good happening in my life right now."

"Other than me paying for your drinks?" Jongdae says, meaning to tease, but Taeyeon looks up at him sharply, eyes narrowed. Taeyeon hates being treated like something so fragile and precious. Maybe that's why she and Jonghyun fit so perfectly. "'Kay. Sorry. You're treating me tonight."

"I think he's… going to pop the question soon," she says, more quietly this time, like she's talking to herself. "It makes me a bit… antsy? I don't know, it kind of feels weird. We've been running around in circles for the longest time then he finally asked me out, and then we got together and then-"

So that's why it hadn't been Jonghyun who Taeyeon had dragged out here at Heaven, why Taeyeon had ordered him to drive for a good thirty minutes and weave through Seoul's traffic at nine in the evening. "You're going to be a great wife, if that's what you're wondering." She slaps him on the arm lightly, and then harder when he continues, "What, did you want me to say you'll be a great mother? I don't know, Taeng-noona, I'm not good with consoling through words and I can't give you a bear hug right now..."

Taeyeon laughs after a while, the fullest, richest sound he's heard her let out since she had approached him earlier this evening. "You can send me one of those cute stickers in KKT."

"I don't do stickers. They ruin the order and layout of my chats."

"So that's why there's a sticker plastered on your screen right now."

"What-" He remembers placing his phone face down on the table, but somehow it's been upturned, and there's an annoyingly cute bunny sticker flashing on his screen. 6 messages have added up from when he'd last checked his phone, but he ignores them all, turning his phone over and shooting Taeyeon a stern look as he says, "You thought you'd be able to change the topic, huh?"

"Nah, your focus is immaculate. Your persistence is even more..." She makes large gestures with her hands, and she settles on the word something when she ends up without anything. Her voice is huskier, tone low and dangerous and smooth, like the alcohol has soothed her throat and has loosened it up from when it had felt so tight. She's not looking at him anymore, eyes fixed on the shelves of bottles, instead, drumming her fingers on the table.

Jongdae shifts in his seat so that he can get a better view of Taeyeon's face. Heaven's lighting has never been the best - it's too easy to get swallowed up by the darkness once you step out of the dance floor - but he can make out the heaviness in Taeyeon's eyes when the roaming lights catch on their figures. It's not like the one he'd seen when Taeyeon had walked up to him earlier that night, but there's still a hint of it somewhere. "What, then?" he asks when Taeyeon hunches her shoulders, and she lets out a loud exhale as the rests her head on her clasped hands.

"I'm… not sure if I'm ready for this. This… the whole concept of being tied to one thing forever-" Her voice drifts off as she scratches the back of her neck like she usually does off-cam after the fifth take of a couple of spiels for The Voice. "-I think I've had enough of that with my job." She ends with a chuckle, and Jongdae's sure Taeyeon doesn't even try to lace it with amusement; they both know each other's voices way too much, each lilt and dip and sharp twist, for Jongdae to even second-guess the emotion in Taeyeon's tone.

Jongdae crosses his arms behind his head, locking his fingers as he stretches his back. "Constancy isn't so bad," he mumbles. He doesn't mean Taeyeon to catch it, but he knows she does anyway. "It's the change that disrupts it that makes everything… scary."

Taeyeon snorts a little. There's a light upward tug on the corners of her lips now. "Is it bad that I don't want to imagine Jonghyunnie handling kids? I mean…" Her voice drifts off, surfacing again when she giggles. "What if he drops them? You know him - his movements are so big even if he's so small and-"

Taeyeon erupts into a peal of laughter, her voice reaching its sweetest point, and Jongdae's cackling dissolves into a smile - soft on the edges, not strained at the corners. He's taken back to five, seven years ago when they were all still feeling small in a stage so big, when Taeyeon was still part of a girl group and Jonghyun was touring Asia and was sending them pictures of the crowd from different angles, when Boa was wilder on stage and more tame at the drinking table.

When Baekhyun hadn't met Sunyoung yet, when he and Baekhyun had booked the first flight to Lord knew where as soon as Jongdae received news that he was to get a two-week break and Baekhyun was lucky enough to have gotten a break from his promoting with five other people. When it was just them - just him and Baekhyun - and he had finally gotten used to the rhythm of idol life, the presence of fans and supporters and Baekhyun constantly blabbering in text messages.

"Just… hope for the best," Jongdae says after a while, once they've caught their breaths again. He tilts his mostly empty glass in Taeyeon's direction, and she simply frowns at her empty glass, orders another round for the two of them.

Her hand is warm on his thigh. Baekhyun's hands, too, are warm - on the small of his back, on his arms, wound around his neck. Joonmyun's hand isn't as warm, but then Jongdae hasn't spent much time with him yet; there's still time to study Joonmyun. He shakes the thought away and Baekhyun's voice echoes in his mind - I'm getting married in two months. What are people going to think? The bartender arrives with their drinks, and he laughs when he hears the small sound of triumph spilling from Taeyeon's lips.

"To just letting things happen?" Taeyeon tries, and Jongdae gives in to the nagging urge to ruffle Taeyeon's hair.

He raises his glass in accord. "To just letting things happen."

Taeyeon leaves a little past eleven in the evening, when Jonghyun finally convinces her that, "It's not good to get drunk when you have a 5 a.m. call time tomorrow." Taeyeon puts up a fight at first, fists balled against the rough material of Jonghyun's shirt, and Jonghyun turns to Jongdae, eyebrows furrowed in a call for help.

"Youngjin-hyung will kill you if you come in late, noona," Jongdae finally says, and Taeyeon relents, face falling forward, finding a fit in the crook of Jonghyun's neck.

I owe you, Jonghyun mouths as he carefully makes Taeyeon turn around so they can walk properly, and Jongdae calls out, "I accept payment in coffee vouchers!"

He glances at the mostly filled glass in front of him and the six notifications in his phone - they've now gone up to 8. Three of them are from Jonghyun, asking if he was with Taeyeon, while two were from the company, saying that maybe Taeyeon was right, maybe she should sing the track Jongdae had composed for her. The last three messages are from Joonmyun - a series of exclamation points, a sticker where some cute bunny is crying, and a chunk of text that mostly says rixton is good. i downloaded the entire discography!

well aren't u a fan, Jongdae simply replies and, right now, without Taeyeon occupying the seat beside his, Joonmyun's presence on KKT is the only form of company he has.

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