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[cristoff_eleni]

I remember being here at the hospital, I remember them doing things and asking questions and things hurt and eventually being given something to make me sleep when I would not rest. They kept asking me about gang activity, especially seeing the old knife wounds and the scar from the crossbow bolt. I could not even summon the strength to speak to

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[_eva_c]

He's being haunted, whether by a true spirit or some kind of Sunnydale special or his own conscience, I don't know. What I do know is that I will do whatever I can to make it stop because seeing him like this? It's not only hurting him, it's killing me and I will not let this happen to him.

I sit up a little and look down at him, no trace of fear or disbelief on my face or in my voice this time. "Cristoff, look at me. Whatever this thing is? I don't know how to make it go away yet, but do not listen to her. What she's telling you is not true. Listen to me, focus on me and I swear to you I will make her go away." Turning, I put my body in between him and the rest of the room. I look over my shoulder and search it, looking for a sign of this girl that is torturing him. Even though I see nothing, I narrow my eyes anyway and speak to this thing in a low fierce voice. "You will go away and leave him alone or so help me I will find you, I will find a way to find you and you will regret the day you ever laid eyes upom him."

I take up my protective position next to him again, continuing to look around the room as I talk to him. "You are not being punished, you were protecting people and I do not care what this thing tells you, it's not true. I know you, Cristoff, this thing does not."

[cristoff_eleni]

She laughs and tells me this one is good, what a show she puts on for me.

"I..I will try. But not here, and no drugs, they make it hard not to listen."

[_eva_c]

"I'll be able to take you home soon, ok? And no drugs." I talk to him in a normal voice, trying to give him something to focus on. "There's other ways we can manage any pain you might have from the gunshot wound, herbal things I know how to prepare. And I can make you one of those fetishes I made for Evan, maybe it will help you to block this thing."

[cristoff_eleni]

"Thank you Eva." Her name, it always seems to come when I feel the most. I reach out and touch her hair. "I am sorry I pushed you away."

[_eva_c]

When he calls me by my actual name, it makes me feel better, that maybe I'm helping him and I smile before leaning down and kissing his cheek.

Then he says the part about the pushing me away and for a moment I feel that again, and knowing I was right and that's what he was doing stings a bit but I keep my smile. "Shh, it's okay. You lost a lot of blood, you didn't know what you were doing."

[cristoff_eleni]

"I saw the blood, I was getting blood on you." I do not know how to explain that it was not just the physical blood, but the evil I had done I was afraid of touching her with. How utterly hopeless I had felt for those moments.

Too late, hisses the voice, you have already drawn her into you darkness they will come for her as well as you, punish her because of your sins.

"Stop!" if I am not mad I will be soon if this does not stop. She just laughs and says she is here to stay.

[_eva_c]

I start to tell him that I didn't care about the blood, I only cared about him when he yells, startling me. I sit up again, straddling his legs and blocking his view of anything but me. "Cristoff, ignore her. Look at me, whatever it is, it's not true. Tell me what she says, maybe if you tell me it will take some of her power away because I can negate it, I know it's not true."

[cristoff_eleni]

"It was not the real blood, it was the crimes. It was like I could see the crimes on my hands coming off on you and I wanted you to let me die." I look at her and I take her hands and listen to her voice.

"By being involved with me you take that onto you."

[_eva_c]

Oh god, he wanted me to let him die? My heart feels like it's stopped and for a moment I can't breathe. I manage to choke out the word no but it sounds small and insignificant. I have to make myself breathe and try again. "No, no no no, don't you ever say that to me or think that, no!" And this time it comes out loud and clear and with a little more intensity than I would've liked.

I try to soften it but I'm on a roll now and my mouth is going on it's own, spurred on my the fear that he might think that way again. "I love you Cristoff Eleni, and anything you do or have done I have taken into myself long ago and if you think that's going to make me leave you or stop loving you? You're wrong, so don't you try and push me away for my own good or whatever god damn noble reason you think you're doing it for, don't you dare!" I stop, looking at him and breathing hard after my outburst.

[cristoff_eleni]

"I am sorry." I watch her and some of the fear leaks away although it is still there waiting to show up when I least expect it. "It was the pain and the fear, I stayed, I will always stay."

Just because she's ok with the darkness doesn't make it right. You dragged her down.

"I love you and I will not leave you."

[_eva_c]

I sit there for a minute, just looking at him and still trying to comprehend that he actually thought that. Most of the anger and panic has left me, but some of it remains. "Just, don't you ever say that or think that again. If you're going to leave me it had better be by either no choice of your own or because you can no longer stand me, not because you think you're sparing me from something."

I look down at my hands, hating that I yelled at him. "I'm sorry I yelled at you."

[cristoff_eleni]

I laugh, granted it is a weak laugh and it does not sound like me.

"You need not apologize. I deserved it. I will not leave you, I promise."

[_eva_c]

Well, I'm happy he finds my outburst amusing. I'd glare at him but hearing him laugh, even if it isn't his normal one, is like music to my ears and I smile at him instead. "God but you are exasperating sometimes. I mean it, though. Please do not do that again."

I look at my watch, wondering what's taking them so long to deliver his clothing but it hasn't really been that long. "They should be here soon and then I can take you home."

[cristoff_eleni]

"Do not worry, I will not." I rest my head and keep a hold of her. The voice is starting to make sense now. Those that I have killed will bring more. I cannot let them take Eva or take me from her.

"Yes, home." I kiss her fingers lightly.

[_eva_c]

He seems...I don't know if better is the right word, but he doesn't seem as freaked out. I take my place at his side again and wonder if he's really any better or if he's acting like he is for my sake. He's got to be tired, maybe that's part of it. Lord knows I'm exhausted emotionally from all of this, but I refuse to give in to it until he feels better, safer.

"Are they things I can do at the house, any charms I can put up that might protect you from this thing?"

[cristoff_eleni]

My eyes are half closed and I am listening to Eva with the murmur of the other voice behind her telling me what I should do.

"I do no know, it is hard to think right now. I will look at what we have once we get there and maybe I will be able to decide."