(Untitled)

[cristoff_eleni]

I remember being here at the hospital, I remember them doing things and asking questions and things hurt and eventually being given something to make me sleep when I would not rest. They kept asking me about gang activity, especially seeing the old knife wounds and the scar from the crossbow bolt. I could not even summon the strength to speak to

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[_eva_c]

Cristoff is lost and I can't seem to find him, I go from room to room in this house that I know is ours but it's different, bigger, darker. He's here somewhere, I know he is and if I can just pick the right room he'll be there and everything will be okay again. And then suddenly he is, I hear his voice and I answer him in Rom, telling him it's good to see him too. But when I turn around to smile at him, he's gone and the panic has come back. It jolts me awake and I almost fall out of my chair, my half dreaming self thinking I'm still moving, searching rooms.

It takes me a minute to remember where I am; the hospital. I quickly look over at Cristoff's bed and see him looking at me and oh god, he still looks broken. I want to cry at the way he looks but I won't, I have to be the strong one now so I smile softly at him instead and make a conscience effort to keep my voice even.

"Hey, baby." Encouraged when I manage to sound somewhat normal, I get up off of the chair and go to him, smiling before brushing his hair back from his forehead and planting a kiss on it. My eyes close for a moment and I'm grateful again that he's physically okay before I pull back and sit on the edge of his bed. "How are you feeling?"

[cristoff_eleni]

I lean into the kiss on my forhead, it feels normal, I need normal at the moment.

"Like perhaps I was shot and left in the woods. How are you doing?"

[_eva_c]

He's making jokes and as bad as it is, it makes me feel better.

"That would be because you were shot, Cristoff." I smile at him, trying to keep this lightness but I'm afraid my eyes betray me as I look at him. "I'm good, I'm not the one that's in the hospital this time."

And now I can't hide the seriousness that's on my face, because my god, he was shot. "Is that what happened, did someone shoot you and leave you in the woods?"

[cristoff_eleni]

"Yes. I awoke out there, someone drugged me and left me there. Then they decided to try and hunt me down."

The little girl is asking me aren't I going to tell her that they all died, that I played God in the woods and I know someday she will need to know it was my own actions that brought the hunt on me.

"I wish to go home."

[_eva_c]

"Wait, what?" If I wasn't fully awake before, I am now. "Someone tried to hunt you?" My vision narrows and I feel the rush of adrenaline that always comes before my anger blooms. "Who?"

The fact that he wants to go home barely registers, I'm completely taken over by this rage that someone would actually hunt him like an animal. "I'll take you home when they say it's ok for you to be released, baby."

[cristoff_eleni]

"It does not matter, they did not make it out of the woods and I did." I am alarmed at the thought of her trying to find and take out my captors, just as well they are dead. "Yuffie needs to take the knives in the study and dispose of them for me." Yes acting like the guilty murderer I am is pleasing the girl but I am doing my best to ignore her.

"No, I wish to go home now. Please find me some clothes and take me out of here." my voice breaks a little and I try to steady it.

[_eva_c]

I smile when he says that they didn't make it out, but it's a cruel smile. "Good," I say, nodding at the part about Yuff. "I'll take care of it."

Him insisting on going home worries me, though. "Cristoff, you were just shot. I know it sucks being in the hospital, but you could injur yourself more if you leave too soon." His voice sounds slightly desperate and I can't deny him anything in normal circumstances, there's no way I can in this one. "I haven't gone home to get you any clothes yet, maybe I can have something delivered from the mall?"

[cristoff_eleni]

"Please, I cannot stay here." I will have to wait for clothes, mine are ruined, first the blood then being cut off of me there is no hope for them.

"I do not wish the deaths traced to you, please ask Yuffie as soon as you can to remove them." I catch a hold of her hand, desperate to hold onto something real, something that doesn't tell me how horrible I am and how I will kill again and again.

[_eva_c]

Oh god, his desperation kills me and I feel useless again, all I can do is nod for a moment. But I swallow it as best as I can and look for my phone to call Nieman's when he grabs for my hand, making me look at him again. The look on his face reminds me of what Izzy told me she felt from him earlier and I see it now. "Baby, I'll take care of it, I'll have Yuffie get rid of whatever you need me to, okay?"

I hold his hand, trying to give him whatever strength and comfort I can but I'm not feeling a lot of it myself. "You did what you had to, Cristoff. It was self defense, you or them."

[cristoff_eleni]

"This time." I cannot keep looking at her and listening to the girl. The things she says some of them make a sad amount of sense.

"I will be fine, but no more hospital, no more drugs, I just need to leave."

[_eva_c]

I'm not sure what he means when he says this time, but his wanting to leave here is my priority right now. I call Niemans and they agree to send over some clothing for him asap. "I should be able to take you home in about an hour, ok?"

I bring his hand up to my lips and kiss his fingers before I ask what he meant, although I think I know. "This time? Cristoff, it was me or him last time, and you did what you had to then, too."

[cristoff_eleni]

I know I keep looking at the girl, I see her plain as day but I saw several doctors and nurses walk right through her.

"What makes you think Julian is the first man I killed?" my voice is raw.

[_eva_c]

He's not looking at me and the way his voice sounds, I just want to take whatever this pain is away from him and make it better. I want to hold him close and tell him I love him and everything will be okay. But he's injured and I don't want to hurt him more, so I settle for taking his chin in my hand and gently turning his head, making him look at me. "Because you've never told me you'd had to kill anyone else before. Nothing will ever change the fact that I love you, you know that, right?"

I don't know if he'll tell me, and he doesn't have to. There really is nothing he can say that would ever change the way I feel about him. "But you don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

[cristoff_eleni]

She turns me to face her, I drink in the sight but there is always that voice talking to me from beside the bed in it's accusing voice.

"I know." I know that she will always love me, just as I will always love her, but now I worry that I may have to kill again to protect that.

"They were police, from Italy, they were trying to avenge their comrades."

[_eva_c]

I'm a little confused now, police from Italy? "The people that tried to hunt you or are you telling me about why Julian is not the first person you've had to kill?"

[cristoff_eleni]

"Both. These policemen were avenging comrades I killed many years ago."