(no subject)
I'm so frustrated again.. this time, it's with a really good friend. This is what I hate the most. I've decided to go back to school for education. I'm excited about it. My parents are fine with it, Kelly is fine with it, other friends are happy and excited for me.. but why is one not even accepting the fact that I want to go back to school? Why is she the person who wants to keep trying to tell me that I should try other things before I decide to go to school again? Why is she making me feel so frustrated? I've come to the conclusion that because she doesn't want change in HER life, that I shouldn't have change in mine either.. She's had the same boyfriend for 7 or so years, hasn't lived more than half an hour from her parents, and has had the same job for 3 or so years now. But.. why? Why take anything out on me? Did I catch her on a bad night? But I can't say this is the first time something like this has happened. I think it has to do with me wanting to stop doing photography full-time. It's not consistent enough for me, and that's what I really want. If I'm going to "settle down" and all that, then I want something that is reliable. I've heard too much about photographers who end up out of jobs. I don't want to be one of them without anything else that I can do. That's probably one of the scariest things for me.. being out of work. Kind of like I am right now. Nobody is happy with my current job situation right now.. especially me and my parents. This sounded a whole lot better than it actually is..
I just have to get through it, and learn whatever, save up as much money as I can and then go do something else. Hopefully it won't take much over 2 years, and then I can get a job teaching and be settled. I hope it all works.. and I hope somewhere along the line I can get a newer car.. this one has about had it. lol But.. that will just have to wait for right now. Hopefully I can change it sooner than later, and if I could get a nice grant for school, that would make it even easier. We'll see how it goes.. I have to get through this year first before I can do anything. My lease is up Oct 31. I'll move then.. that's the second step. Getting another job and being able to save money is the first step..
I just have to get through it, and learn whatever, save up as much money as I can and then go do something else. Hopefully it won't take much over 2 years, and then I can get a job teaching and be settled. I hope it all works.. and I hope somewhere along the line I can get a newer car.. this one has about had it. lol But.. that will just have to wait for right now. Hopefully I can change it sooner than later, and if I could get a nice grant for school, that would make it even easier. We'll see how it goes.. I have to get through this year first before I can do anything. My lease is up Oct 31. I'll move then.. that's the second step. Getting another job and being able to save money is the first step..