(no subject)

Feb 25, 2010 13:26

I need to think of this as an adventure. The fun kind, with meeting all kinds of new people, discovering new places, and not being bored with it. That's how I need to think of my present job.. Kind of sad in a way. I need to actually pump myself up for it, and make myself want to do it. And this job is supposed to be a 'career' for me. Ha. I want something that has more of a consistent schedule. When I know I'll be working and can depend on getting paid. Serving is more consistent than photographing. well, this kind of photographing.

I've made a decision in my life, and I actually told my dad. I didn't decide I was going to tell him, but it just started spilling out. So, soon, my grandma will know, I'm sure he told my mom (I wanted to tell them both at the same time, but whenever my mom answers the phone, she hands it immediately to my dad), I told one of my friends, and my boyfriend knows. I'm really excited about it, but I need to work a second job right now to be able to not only completely support myself, but to save up. Which means I'm going to make myself go on a "no spending month" until halloween. Well, really until next September. That would be September of 2011. I want to try to do school this time WITHOUT getting any more student loans. With this specific grant in Virginia, that would help a ton. Up to $4,000 a year. Tuition is almost $7000 for the year (in-state) and that would cut my tuition by more than half! That would be absolutely amazing. I want to do this completely on my own. I have found a way to do just that! I don't know which is more exciting for me. The fact that I could do this all on my own or that I've decided that I'm going to go back to school, and decided on what to study.

The only thing is, after all my monthly expenses (bills, food, gas..) I can't spend anything more. I have to stick to a budget and actually make it work. None of that make a budget or a plan and forget about it. There's no way that I can do this without keeping an eye on myself. I just hope I find a good place to work this time.. and maybe another place to depending on what I decide to do with my job that I moved here for. Everyone thought it would be something that it isn't. That's the problem. It's not a good fit for me, and I'm seeing that.. so do I end it now or do I continue on? I know I said I needed to see it as an adventure, but.. I almost just want to quit it now. It's been a month since I've heard anything. I almost want to assume that I'm done with. lol Do I want to continue on with this season or just end it now before it gets too far? I wish someone would tell me what I should do. I know it's my decision.. time to pray about it! I tend to forget to do that.. maybe today will be another coffee day but this time with Bible and reading versus writing.. I'm glad to go to church this saturday too. :) That's about the highlight of my week right now.. hopefully I'll be able to go more and more.. we'll see how everything works out..
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