(no subject)
So many things to think about right now. Work, friends (or lack-of), living where I do, being by myself, what I'm going to do next, how I'm going to pay bills, maybe I should get a cat?, realizing I need to make a day-to-day plan...
Lots of things running around up there in the noggin. Tuesday I have a meeting that could be either good or bad, I'm scared. I really don't know which way it's going to go. If it goes bad, I have to stay here and figure something else out.. and quickly, and then sell of some equipment. A lens or two and a body with batteries and charger. That's if it goes bad. If it's good, then I guess I do nothing much different. I do want to volunteer, and I need something to work at for a little extra money on tuesdays and wednesdays.
I kind of hate living where I do right now. I miss my friends and boyfriend so much sometimes, it's almost overwhelming. I just hate being away from all the people I love. And not even having a pet makes it worse. I found a cat downtown Concord (an adult female) that I would love to adopt, but after that step, there'd be the pet fee for the apartment and the monthly pet fee, plus all the food, litter, and other supplies. I can't even afford myself, how could I afford a pet? Yea, not going to happen for a while. I'd feel so bad leaving a cat in my apartment alone for 4-5 days at a time every week. She was so cute and sweet.. I hope someday soon I can get an animal to keep me company. Speaking of finding friends.. for some reason, I don't really want to make new ones, I just want my old ones.. but I know how this works.. I know at some point, I'm going to need to make new ones. It's frustrating. I've got a boyfriend that I would love to be able to go out with here, but that just can't happen. I don't really want to have to go through the whole process of finding new friends. I've found a few ways to do it, but it's a problem once the season starts (if I'm still there) and these "events" are all between thursday and sunday. That's really a problem. I know there will be weeks off, at least a couple, but on those weeks off, I'll either want to go to VA or do something.. go to the beach or I don't know, something.
Anyway, there's so many "what-ifs" right now it's driving me crazy.. I'm not quite sure what to do. I will be happy working full-time, wherever that may be.. I'm just full of a lot of "i don't knows" right now too. Its horrible. I thought I had a plan, now it seems that may not work.. I'm just not sure what I want.. I hate to admit what I might actually want. We'll see what happens, I guess.
I just want to go out and do something fun, laugh, and I don't know what else. Problem is, there is no way that's going to happen anytime soon really, especially here. I'll figure something out, I tend to.
Lots of things running around up there in the noggin. Tuesday I have a meeting that could be either good or bad, I'm scared. I really don't know which way it's going to go. If it goes bad, I have to stay here and figure something else out.. and quickly, and then sell of some equipment. A lens or two and a body with batteries and charger. That's if it goes bad. If it's good, then I guess I do nothing much different. I do want to volunteer, and I need something to work at for a little extra money on tuesdays and wednesdays.
I kind of hate living where I do right now. I miss my friends and boyfriend so much sometimes, it's almost overwhelming. I just hate being away from all the people I love. And not even having a pet makes it worse. I found a cat downtown Concord (an adult female) that I would love to adopt, but after that step, there'd be the pet fee for the apartment and the monthly pet fee, plus all the food, litter, and other supplies. I can't even afford myself, how could I afford a pet? Yea, not going to happen for a while. I'd feel so bad leaving a cat in my apartment alone for 4-5 days at a time every week. She was so cute and sweet.. I hope someday soon I can get an animal to keep me company. Speaking of finding friends.. for some reason, I don't really want to make new ones, I just want my old ones.. but I know how this works.. I know at some point, I'm going to need to make new ones. It's frustrating. I've got a boyfriend that I would love to be able to go out with here, but that just can't happen. I don't really want to have to go through the whole process of finding new friends. I've found a few ways to do it, but it's a problem once the season starts (if I'm still there) and these "events" are all between thursday and sunday. That's really a problem. I know there will be weeks off, at least a couple, but on those weeks off, I'll either want to go to VA or do something.. go to the beach or I don't know, something.
Anyway, there's so many "what-ifs" right now it's driving me crazy.. I'm not quite sure what to do. I will be happy working full-time, wherever that may be.. I'm just full of a lot of "i don't knows" right now too. Its horrible. I thought I had a plan, now it seems that may not work.. I'm just not sure what I want.. I hate to admit what I might actually want. We'll see what happens, I guess.
I just want to go out and do something fun, laugh, and I don't know what else. Problem is, there is no way that's going to happen anytime soon really, especially here. I'll figure something out, I tend to.