The Bad, The Worse, And The Ugly
Everything keeps going wrong lately and I'm very depressed. I guess I'll start at the beginning, which was last weekend. Nick and I went to Houghton Lake Saturday-Sunday just as a little get-away! Everything was wonderful and incredibly romantic until Saturday evening when Nick and I went down to the beach. I was picking up shells in the water and Nick was skipping stones. Somehow one of the stones hit me directly in the mouth, more specifically...the tooth. He chipped my left front tooth. I'm not mad at him, it was an accident, but I was very conscious of how I would look from then on out. Currently I have a temperory cap which looks fine except for the fact that it's darker than the rest of my teeth. My permanent cap will be in on Aug 17th and I can only hope that it matches good enough that no one will be able to tell that it's fake!
Next came the parental problems. I mean my mom always makes me bad, but this time not only my mom, but my dad too! One night Tiff and I had planned to watch The Birdcage because she had never seen it, and OMG, it's such a fabulous movie! So when Tiff came over I told my mom jokingly to "beat it" out of the family room so that we could watch the movie. Well she tells us to go in the basement because I was rude...FUCK THAT and FUCK HER! I got pissed told her she was an ass hole and that we were going to Tiffanys.
Then maybe a day or so later it was my dad. It was extremely embarassing and I'm not even going to discuss it in full detail. Unfortunately Tiffany was there, she gets to see my family's disfunction at it's finest. Anyway, my dad made a rude comment about my body and I was very mad and embarassed. I told him he was talking like an ass hole and left soon after because I was so upset. Later when I came home and wanted to tell him to never talk to me like that again, he was sleeping. How fucking convienent. I told my mom "If he talks like that to me again, so help me God!" She acted like I was totally overreacting and you know what, I wasn't. Nick even said he had no right to say something like that to me. So fuck them both!
Since this happened my mom has slowly but surely been trying to talk to me, and I've partially let her, despite the fact that I really never want to speak to her again. What makes it so hard, is that for so many years my mom was my only friend, so it's hard not to talk to her. Anyway today I was pissed off because they kept calling my cell phone, so when my mom called for the 3rd time I answered with, "What?" She then told me to cook my own dinner. Fine, I really don't need your bull shit! My hate for them is now more than ever. I really haven't talked to them since this happened, and you know what, I don't give a fuck! My dad has to apologize for sure! As for my mom, she never apologizes, she'll just start talking to me when she want's something like to use my computer or something because she's too damn stupid to do anything for herself.
The last straw was Monday. My manager Mary Jo called to tell me that my shift for the day was getting cut. She then told me she wanted to train me as a sales associate. I was like, "What?" I've worked there for a year, what the fuck do you think I am? Apparantly I'm a "cashier" and my sales on the floor aren't good enough for a sales associate. Jesus Christ....get off my back. I agreed to it, but now I'm really scared what it's going to bring me, I really don't want her on my back and if it happenes I'm going to get upset and possibly quit. I was going to quit right away after this conversation, but Natalia (a manager who is a friend of mine) told me that it is a good thing and to tough it out. So I'm gonna give it a try.
Lately my friend Matt his been in my mind. I haven't talked to Matt in moths, well, he hasn't talked to me actually. I wrote him a note moths ago telling him I was sorry and that I love him as a friend and I would like to stay friends. Told him to call if he wanted to, otherwise I would never talk to him again. And also because another one of his friends Dave has hoed me out like 3 times now. So I called Joe who is Matt's best friend. He said I should talk to Matt, but I just can't bring myself to call him. Anyway, Joe invited Tiff and I to Canada Friday night. I'm really excited about going with Joe because I love that kid so much, but he said he was going with "some guys" so I'm really worried that Matt's going to be there and Joe isn't telling me! I don't know how to act around Matt. I'm mad as hell at him, but in the same breath, I miss him, I miss the fun we used to have. At the same time, I'm not single anymore and I don't want old feelings to come back, I'm with Nick now, very happy I might add!
I'm very lucky to have Nick in my life right now. Without him, I don't know what I would do. He's there when I'm sad, he listens to me, he cheers me up, and he gives me advice. He is my everything! I love you baby!
Well that's all the bad news for now, but you can bet I'll be back soon enough!
Next came the parental problems. I mean my mom always makes me bad, but this time not only my mom, but my dad too! One night Tiff and I had planned to watch The Birdcage because she had never seen it, and OMG, it's such a fabulous movie! So when Tiff came over I told my mom jokingly to "beat it" out of the family room so that we could watch the movie. Well she tells us to go in the basement because I was rude...FUCK THAT and FUCK HER! I got pissed told her she was an ass hole and that we were going to Tiffanys.
Then maybe a day or so later it was my dad. It was extremely embarassing and I'm not even going to discuss it in full detail. Unfortunately Tiffany was there, she gets to see my family's disfunction at it's finest. Anyway, my dad made a rude comment about my body and I was very mad and embarassed. I told him he was talking like an ass hole and left soon after because I was so upset. Later when I came home and wanted to tell him to never talk to me like that again, he was sleeping. How fucking convienent. I told my mom "If he talks like that to me again, so help me God!" She acted like I was totally overreacting and you know what, I wasn't. Nick even said he had no right to say something like that to me. So fuck them both!
Since this happened my mom has slowly but surely been trying to talk to me, and I've partially let her, despite the fact that I really never want to speak to her again. What makes it so hard, is that for so many years my mom was my only friend, so it's hard not to talk to her. Anyway today I was pissed off because they kept calling my cell phone, so when my mom called for the 3rd time I answered with, "What?" She then told me to cook my own dinner. Fine, I really don't need your bull shit! My hate for them is now more than ever. I really haven't talked to them since this happened, and you know what, I don't give a fuck! My dad has to apologize for sure! As for my mom, she never apologizes, she'll just start talking to me when she want's something like to use my computer or something because she's too damn stupid to do anything for herself.
The last straw was Monday. My manager Mary Jo called to tell me that my shift for the day was getting cut. She then told me she wanted to train me as a sales associate. I was like, "What?" I've worked there for a year, what the fuck do you think I am? Apparantly I'm a "cashier" and my sales on the floor aren't good enough for a sales associate. Jesus Christ....get off my back. I agreed to it, but now I'm really scared what it's going to bring me, I really don't want her on my back and if it happenes I'm going to get upset and possibly quit. I was going to quit right away after this conversation, but Natalia (a manager who is a friend of mine) told me that it is a good thing and to tough it out. So I'm gonna give it a try.
Lately my friend Matt his been in my mind. I haven't talked to Matt in moths, well, he hasn't talked to me actually. I wrote him a note moths ago telling him I was sorry and that I love him as a friend and I would like to stay friends. Told him to call if he wanted to, otherwise I would never talk to him again. And also because another one of his friends Dave has hoed me out like 3 times now. So I called Joe who is Matt's best friend. He said I should talk to Matt, but I just can't bring myself to call him. Anyway, Joe invited Tiff and I to Canada Friday night. I'm really excited about going with Joe because I love that kid so much, but he said he was going with "some guys" so I'm really worried that Matt's going to be there and Joe isn't telling me! I don't know how to act around Matt. I'm mad as hell at him, but in the same breath, I miss him, I miss the fun we used to have. At the same time, I'm not single anymore and I don't want old feelings to come back, I'm with Nick now, very happy I might add!
I'm very lucky to have Nick in my life right now. Without him, I don't know what I would do. He's there when I'm sad, he listens to me, he cheers me up, and he gives me advice. He is my everything! I love you baby!
Well that's all the bad news for now, but you can bet I'll be back soon enough!