Stars & Stripes Forever
This year I realized just how much I love the 4th of July. I realized that it's my all-time favorite holiday. The smell of barbecue, being around friends and family, swimming, drinking, setting off fireworks, watching fireworks, having a really good time...I mean, what could be better? I can't imagine anything. I used to have all that every 4th when I was a kid, but then we all grew up I guess.
Like less than a week before the 4th I got in a big fight with my mom and I thought for sure that all the fun I had looked so forward to was a distant dream. I bought some fireworks to do while waiting for the fireworks to begin. As usual when concerning something remotely close to fun, my mom got mad. She said I shouldn't do the fireworks at my grandparents house. I found her (also as usual) absolutely rediculous. And we fought. So going into the 4th I really didn't expect to have much fun, I just felt like my mom ruined everything, and I ruined everything.
Despite my cold heart going into my favorite holiday, Nick and Tiffany really made it great. Almost exactly what I wanted. At my grandparents, watching the neighbors drunk out of their minds and putting on their on fireworks show, was just about as fun as the actual show itself. Nick said he had never seen a city go as crazy as Clawson for Independence Day! The actual fireworks show was amazing, as always. From there we left and went back to Nicks. Tiffany and I drank some beers while Nick lit the little fireworks I bought. It was pretty enjoyable. Actually it was alot of fun!
On another note, I'm really begining to wonder if my parents did adopt me. On the inside I feel like I'm nothing like them. We don't share the same interests, they don't understand me, and they're extremely anti-social. I cannot wait the day that I escape from their home and get the chance to live under my own rules and do what I want to do.
#1. I'm feeling really lonely today. Nick is with his friend and Tiffany is up north with her mom, having a blast I imagine. I wish I knew what that was like. I would love to go camping or up north with my family. We did when I was really little, but it's been well over 10 years I'm sure since I've did anything like that. Probably closer to 15 years. I'm going to do that with my own family every year.
#2. Saturday night at the Clawson fireworks the people next door to my grandparents had a ton of family and friends over and it looked like everyone was so happy and having so much fun. Then I got to thinking and I realized that my parents have never had anything like that at our house. The family's been over for holiday's, but that's it. The 6 family members on my mom's side. WHEW, now that's getting kinda crazy, a whole 6 people...
Then today my friend Kristen invited me to a BBQ that her perents were having. They told her she could invite as many friends as she wanted. My parents would never do that, they would never say that...they just wouldn't.
I really do hate my family. I hate being a part of this family. I wish I could move out yesterday, or even tomorrow, but it's just not going to work out that way. I'm going to get out of here, that I will promise you! I'm going to work really hard in school, get good grades, work at Beaumont (while also proving wrong every assumption my parents every had about me) and get the hell out of this horrible house. Until that time, I've decided I'm going to make myself virtually invisable to my family. I'll get by talking to them only when I have to. Other than that, I'm nothing, I do not exist. That way I will avoid all confrentation with my parents. I can and will do what I want to do without being judged or analized. And I can also avoid my parents, thinking or saying what a loser I am. This very talkative girl, with a bad temper is going to have to be very introspective and quite, or so they will think.
Like less than a week before the 4th I got in a big fight with my mom and I thought for sure that all the fun I had looked so forward to was a distant dream. I bought some fireworks to do while waiting for the fireworks to begin. As usual when concerning something remotely close to fun, my mom got mad. She said I shouldn't do the fireworks at my grandparents house. I found her (also as usual) absolutely rediculous. And we fought. So going into the 4th I really didn't expect to have much fun, I just felt like my mom ruined everything, and I ruined everything.
Despite my cold heart going into my favorite holiday, Nick and Tiffany really made it great. Almost exactly what I wanted. At my grandparents, watching the neighbors drunk out of their minds and putting on their on fireworks show, was just about as fun as the actual show itself. Nick said he had never seen a city go as crazy as Clawson for Independence Day! The actual fireworks show was amazing, as always. From there we left and went back to Nicks. Tiffany and I drank some beers while Nick lit the little fireworks I bought. It was pretty enjoyable. Actually it was alot of fun!
On another note, I'm really begining to wonder if my parents did adopt me. On the inside I feel like I'm nothing like them. We don't share the same interests, they don't understand me, and they're extremely anti-social. I cannot wait the day that I escape from their home and get the chance to live under my own rules and do what I want to do.
#1. I'm feeling really lonely today. Nick is with his friend and Tiffany is up north with her mom, having a blast I imagine. I wish I knew what that was like. I would love to go camping or up north with my family. We did when I was really little, but it's been well over 10 years I'm sure since I've did anything like that. Probably closer to 15 years. I'm going to do that with my own family every year.
#2. Saturday night at the Clawson fireworks the people next door to my grandparents had a ton of family and friends over and it looked like everyone was so happy and having so much fun. Then I got to thinking and I realized that my parents have never had anything like that at our house. The family's been over for holiday's, but that's it. The 6 family members on my mom's side. WHEW, now that's getting kinda crazy, a whole 6 people...
Then today my friend Kristen invited me to a BBQ that her perents were having. They told her she could invite as many friends as she wanted. My parents would never do that, they would never say that...they just wouldn't.
I really do hate my family. I hate being a part of this family. I wish I could move out yesterday, or even tomorrow, but it's just not going to work out that way. I'm going to get out of here, that I will promise you! I'm going to work really hard in school, get good grades, work at Beaumont (while also proving wrong every assumption my parents every had about me) and get the hell out of this horrible house. Until that time, I've decided I'm going to make myself virtually invisable to my family. I'll get by talking to them only when I have to. Other than that, I'm nothing, I do not exist. That way I will avoid all confrentation with my parents. I can and will do what I want to do without being judged or analized. And I can also avoid my parents, thinking or saying what a loser I am. This very talkative girl, with a bad temper is going to have to be very introspective and quite, or so they will think.