What's going on.
I don't know if it's just because it's the end of semester and I'm really stressed out or what but it seems like everything that I'm trying not to think about keeps rolling around in my mind and it's making me really emotional. I'm a person that has so many people that I can call my best friend; I mean I have Kristen, Louisa, Megan, Amanda, Sam, Chris, Lauren.... but now I have no one. I can't honestly say that any of them are my best friends anymore and that hurts me so bad to go from having so many people close to me to talk and hang out and just be myself with to having not a best friend at all. Granted I have a lot of great friends here but I really miss having a best friend. It just makes me really sad that none of these people make an effort. I can't tell you when the last time I talked to any of them was. None of them have visited me let, yet someone that I haven't talked to in over a year drove 8 hours to spend the weekend here, so how come my "best friends" can drive 3? And it also makes me sad the way some of them are throwing their lives away. I'm not going to go into it I guess I'm just not used to that sort of life style. It's so hard on me not to have someone to talk to or even someone to listen to. I think the only good thing that has come of losing my friends is that my sister, Katie and I have grown a lot closer. She is my best friend right now and I don't know what I'd do without her.
I miss having a boy to like. I miss wasting my time thinking about everything that makes him perfect. Actually I think I just miss a certain boy, one that I thought I was over but after seeing him over break I can't stop thinking about. There are a lot of hot guys here but none that I actually want to like. And the only ones I do want to like either have a girlfriend, just got their heartbroken or don't even know my name. Maybe it's just the irrational fantasy of the boy back home or the fact that my roommate's boyfriend is here every day that is making this a lot harder. I know this shouldn't be a big deal but if you know me then you know I am always liking someone.
My last vent is that I miss being the person that everyone comes to for advise. I miss having to analyze someone's every move to give feedback to another person. My roommate won't talk to me about any of her problems, none of my other friends seem to have any problems. I feel like I have to much free time in my mind and on my hands. SOMEBODY CONFIDE IN ME!! ps my grades suck, I realize that Truman is a very hard school but I haven't really felt challanged yet I'm fighting to keep a C in one of my classes. That has never happened to me before and though I know it's all due to my laziness, but it just sucks. I'm going to have to kick ass next semester to keep my scholarship.... but I guess that's a good incentive. Well I guess I'll go cry to my pillow now, he has good shoulders. I really can't wait to go home for Christmas break!!!
I miss having a boy to like. I miss wasting my time thinking about everything that makes him perfect. Actually I think I just miss a certain boy, one that I thought I was over but after seeing him over break I can't stop thinking about. There are a lot of hot guys here but none that I actually want to like. And the only ones I do want to like either have a girlfriend, just got their heartbroken or don't even know my name. Maybe it's just the irrational fantasy of the boy back home or the fact that my roommate's boyfriend is here every day that is making this a lot harder. I know this shouldn't be a big deal but if you know me then you know I am always liking someone.
My last vent is that I miss being the person that everyone comes to for advise. I miss having to analyze someone's every move to give feedback to another person. My roommate won't talk to me about any of her problems, none of my other friends seem to have any problems. I feel like I have to much free time in my mind and on my hands. SOMEBODY CONFIDE IN ME!! ps my grades suck, I realize that Truman is a very hard school but I haven't really felt challanged yet I'm fighting to keep a C in one of my classes. That has never happened to me before and though I know it's all due to my laziness, but it just sucks. I'm going to have to kick ass next semester to keep my scholarship.... but I guess that's a good incentive. Well I guess I'll go cry to my pillow now, he has good shoulders. I really can't wait to go home for Christmas break!!!