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i almost want to hysterically cry. i got into reading old livejournal entries. i'm terrified now. i've lost my personality. i have none now. i'm jaded. i'm fucking jaded! exactly like i never wanted to be! it's like garden state. fuck
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August 30th, 2005
(no subject)
missing home right now
sorry this sounds so corny but when i say "home" i mean the people i love
dinner today, sleepover tommorow. no stress <3
Posted on Aug. 30th, 2005 02:08 pm (UTC) | Link | Thread | Reply
mikepitkin
from me, by the way.
Posted on Aug. 30th, 2005 02:09 pm
dhile
No , that was so me. Why you trying to play me dawg ? takin my girl and all, dammmm yo.
Posted on Aug. 30th, 2005 02:47 pm
karree
once you get used to the routine and such (this is only your first couple dayyys) you can figure out how to work in more time with your peeps. we miss you toooo!! <3<3
Posted on Aug. 30th, 2005 04:32 pm
hardcorehearted
we miss u 2..
Posted on Aug. 30th, 2005 07:20 pm
spumpkins96
LEMONADE.
Posted on Aug. 30th, 2005 10:33 pm
hardcorehearted
chocolate chip pancakes
marissas knows what im talkin bout
Posted on Aug. 31st, 2005 02:27 am
emstebs
guess what?!
i have a livejournal.
also i miss home too. physically and metaphorically and literally and and and.
i love you marissa christ. man.
Posted on Sep. 4th, 2005 04:26 am
stolenstopsign
I'm here right now,(at NU) call my cell cause i don't know urs!!! 510-5206
Reply
This is something I could never let go of - because of how special it was, but realistically - I realized that nobody wanted it anymore. I finally feel like I've moved on to a place where I can FINALLY achieve stability once again.
The reason I have such a hard time making friends - is because I realize from life experience that friends don't last. They move on to other people, get into serious relationships, etc - and friends become a chore.
But I've grown more angry with my past than sad - because I believed that NOTHING has to end - everything wonderful and special in this world can always remain by your side, but I was dead wrong - everything eventually dies off - and there is no going back. Perhaps this is a very apathetic look at things - but it's safe to say it's true.
Even though I'm insane - and possibly Bi-Polar most of the time, you're a friend - no matter how often / seldom I talk to you or see you. I'll never forget all the amazing things everyone used to have, but people grow up and achieve new success - and it's a terrible feeling to be the only person wishing things didn't have to end.
This probably had nothing to do with anything - but since I once again vanished - I felt like I should post something long about nothing.
Reply
oh the sobering words of perry scinta. well i'm glad you feel that way about me pj. i feel that way about all my friends as well but i ask myself sometimes.... do we all just tell each other that to mask our discomfort with having grown apart? i mean... what would make you more upset? if i died or if someone you hang out with every day died?
but you really are right about the practical uselessness of nostalgia. it's a disease really. it gets worse with age. like the gout.
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Look at how much we have left of the past today - close to nothing. It's nobody's fault - because really, nothing can last forever. What if we were all still best friends today? Would that even be healthy?
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