(no subject)
i almost want to hysterically cry. i got into reading old livejournal entries. i'm terrified now. i've lost my personality. i have none now. i'm jaded. i'm fucking jaded! exactly like i never wanted to be! it's like garden state. fuck.
i wanted to burst out into tears because of all the friends i've lost, all the loves i ruined. i'm mourning myself. the worst part is i did it all to myself. in my selfish, self-righteous quest to be the best i lost myself and my friends. we're all old and angry now. way to go mariss.
i looked back to the time when i dated mike, when it was too painful for cory to hang with me so i couldn't see my friends, when kerry was the only friend who'd hang with me every second of every day, and when nico lived with me for a few months and i practically hated him. i treated mike like a pile of garbage for no reason. you'd think that my friends would hate me but honestly they loved me more then than they do now. maybe not loved me more but they were less indifferent.
i felt like my world was being torn apart back then but i didn't know what i had. i'd give anything to go back.
for example:
crispers
so my internet in my room isn't working. everyone else's is working now but not mine. its probably because i didn't register it . grr. f NU seriously. this crap is annoying. i'm writing this on my roommate's computer.
i'm making this announcement. i'm moving back to kenmore at the end of this semester. i'm excited because i'll get to see my kerry on a regular basis. and i'll be able to start working at dairy queen next season right when the season begins. yay. i'm sooo excited for it. i'll kind of miss it here tho. i've liked having my own place. i'm scared that things will have changed though because i was gone for a few months. i hope that's not the case. i'll have to get a second job tho to pay for gas as i commute to NU.
anybody have any ideas? hey kerry! lets get a job together!!!!!
Posted on Sep. 21st, 2005 at 09:42 am | Link | Leave a comment | Edit Entry | Edit Tags | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Track This
Comments
hardcorehearted
kerry? since when did kerry become the center of your world, oh wait forever lol. dont forget about me, phil, cory and the rest of yur friends..
Posted on Sep. 21st, 2005 04:43 pm
spumpkins96
Pwned.
Posted on Sep. 21st, 2005 06:36 pm
crispers
i remember being told by you that i wasn't welcome
sorry. i thought that my friends were people that i hung out with and people that always welcomed me around. the circumstances that we all know about have prevented me from being around my friends for a very long time. kerry is the only one that isn't off limits.
at least i can hang out with kerry whenever i want or whenever she wants. i don't have to check with a third party .
disclaimer: i know this is the way it has to be and i don't think that it's wrong or that the person that has to avoid me is doing the wrong thing. it just sucks. i miss my friend. you guys were everything i had.
Posted on Sep. 21st, 2005 08:35 pm
hardcorehearted
Re: i remember being told by you that i wasn't welcome
I Didnt mean it in that way, i just miss having you around, your a fun person. I don't see you having/wanting to hang out with me. Your always welcome to hang out with us. Its not my call thought cause of the cory thing ya know? But your always welcome to be with us, come out. Plus i even come visit you at bob evans!!!
I guess right now everything is crazy/confusing/messed up. Either way we love you
Posted on Sep. 21st, 2005 10:54 pm
mofreakah
there is a boy that i know.
and he is probably THE most insightful, intelligent boy i know.
and he gives the best advice.
and he knows just the right thing to say.
and he always realizes when he says really STUPID shit.
don't you love people like that?
i know i do.
<3monica
I MISS YOU MARISSA!
Posted on Sep. 21st, 2005 06:15 pm
karree
=))))))))!!!!!!! baby, apply at hollywood video! caitlyn's helping me get a job there. i love youuu.
ps - you are the center of MY world.
Posted on Sep. 21st, 2005 08:44 pm
crispers
you are my sun
Posted on Sep. 21st, 2005 09:03 pm
hardcorehearted
can i be your saturn? heheheheh
I HAD TOO
Posted on Sep. 21st, 2005 10:55 pm
spumpkins96
I'll be Pluto, the smallest, most crappy planet of all.
Posted on Sep. 23rd, 2005 01:20 am
younglife016
the coldest too
Posted on Sep. 23rd, 2005 06:36 pm
mikepitkin
back to me.
Posted on Sep. 22nd, 2005 09:13 pm
i wanted to burst out into tears because of all the friends i've lost, all the loves i ruined. i'm mourning myself. the worst part is i did it all to myself. in my selfish, self-righteous quest to be the best i lost myself and my friends. we're all old and angry now. way to go mariss.
i looked back to the time when i dated mike, when it was too painful for cory to hang with me so i couldn't see my friends, when kerry was the only friend who'd hang with me every second of every day, and when nico lived with me for a few months and i practically hated him. i treated mike like a pile of garbage for no reason. you'd think that my friends would hate me but honestly they loved me more then than they do now. maybe not loved me more but they were less indifferent.
i felt like my world was being torn apart back then but i didn't know what i had. i'd give anything to go back.
for example:
crispers
so my internet in my room isn't working. everyone else's is working now but not mine. its probably because i didn't register it . grr. f NU seriously. this crap is annoying. i'm writing this on my roommate's computer.
i'm making this announcement. i'm moving back to kenmore at the end of this semester. i'm excited because i'll get to see my kerry on a regular basis. and i'll be able to start working at dairy queen next season right when the season begins. yay. i'm sooo excited for it. i'll kind of miss it here tho. i've liked having my own place. i'm scared that things will have changed though because i was gone for a few months. i hope that's not the case. i'll have to get a second job tho to pay for gas as i commute to NU.
anybody have any ideas? hey kerry! lets get a job together!!!!!
Posted on Sep. 21st, 2005 at 09:42 am | Link | Leave a comment | Edit Entry | Edit Tags | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Track This
Comments
hardcorehearted
kerry? since when did kerry become the center of your world, oh wait forever lol. dont forget about me, phil, cory and the rest of yur friends..
Posted on Sep. 21st, 2005 04:43 pm
spumpkins96
Pwned.
Posted on Sep. 21st, 2005 06:36 pm
crispers
i remember being told by you that i wasn't welcome
sorry. i thought that my friends were people that i hung out with and people that always welcomed me around. the circumstances that we all know about have prevented me from being around my friends for a very long time. kerry is the only one that isn't off limits.
at least i can hang out with kerry whenever i want or whenever she wants. i don't have to check with a third party .
disclaimer: i know this is the way it has to be and i don't think that it's wrong or that the person that has to avoid me is doing the wrong thing. it just sucks. i miss my friend. you guys were everything i had.
Posted on Sep. 21st, 2005 08:35 pm
hardcorehearted
Re: i remember being told by you that i wasn't welcome
I Didnt mean it in that way, i just miss having you around, your a fun person. I don't see you having/wanting to hang out with me. Your always welcome to hang out with us. Its not my call thought cause of the cory thing ya know? But your always welcome to be with us, come out. Plus i even come visit you at bob evans!!!
I guess right now everything is crazy/confusing/messed up. Either way we love you
Posted on Sep. 21st, 2005 10:54 pm
mofreakah
there is a boy that i know.
and he is probably THE most insightful, intelligent boy i know.
and he gives the best advice.
and he knows just the right thing to say.
and he always realizes when he says really STUPID shit.
don't you love people like that?
i know i do.
<3monica
I MISS YOU MARISSA!
Posted on Sep. 21st, 2005 06:15 pm
karree
=))))))))!!!!!!! baby, apply at hollywood video! caitlyn's helping me get a job there. i love youuu.
ps - you are the center of MY world.
Posted on Sep. 21st, 2005 08:44 pm
crispers
you are my sun
Posted on Sep. 21st, 2005 09:03 pm
hardcorehearted
can i be your saturn? heheheheh
I HAD TOO
Posted on Sep. 21st, 2005 10:55 pm
spumpkins96
I'll be Pluto, the smallest, most crappy planet of all.
Posted on Sep. 23rd, 2005 01:20 am
younglife016
the coldest too
Posted on Sep. 23rd, 2005 06:36 pm
mikepitkin
back to me.
Posted on Sep. 22nd, 2005 09:13 pm